Day 110 of AY20-21: stumbling into learning

March 28th was Day 110 of the pandacademic year, and it was the final day of our first week of cycle 8. We had a good week up to that point, although Learners being out due to quarantines and the fixation on seeking out destinations that we could spend money on food instead of engaging in social justice oriented activities was frustrating. But those struggles were outweighed by the positives of being together in the city again, with plenty of sun and good weather, lots of walking, and a some really great conversations.

The day was supposed to be a biking day for some, but the Learners who were going to bring bikes forgot to bring them, so Facilitator Ariel threw his bike in Antonio’s vehicle and we went into the morning meeting. A Learner and Facilitator Ariel both threw out prompts for the morning meeting. For the first prompt we each described a fruit without saying what its name was, while the rest of us tried to guess what it was. The fruits were green apple, grape, banana, tomato, and honeydew. What was really great about that prompt/game was that each of us successfully guessed one of the fruits.

Because it was Friday we went into our Check-in and Change-up meetings after the morning meeting. Three folks raised a total of six awarenesses in the Check-in, and during the Change-up we selected five that we wanted to focus on for the coming week. We keep the number of awarenesses that we put on the Community Awareness Board limited to five so that we can keep each one top of mind as we work toward shifting our culture, because if we had too many awarenesses we would become overwhelmed. The awarenesses included people ruminating on food/treats; dehydration; mindfulness about ourselves, nature, and the environment; taking into account the needs of others; and making assumptions about what others know. For each of the five awarenesses we came up with two or three practices that we would try out for a week to see if we could address the awarenesses we raised.

After the morning meeting we set off. We agreed to hit some food places on our way to the little green spot next to a pond that we found the day prior. I agreed to stop at a food truck so a younger Learner could get some Thai ice cream while the rest of the crew went to a corner store (coffee) and a fast food place (milkshake). When I got to the food truck with the younger Learner we found that it was closed, and according to the sign they would be closed for an hour. The Learner took it in stride and asked to go to a food truck that sold gelato, but we found that closed, as well. The Learner really wanted ice cream so I looked for nearby places that sold ice cream and we finally found one on South Lamar, but it was a 15 minute walk and uphill. He said that he wanted to do that, so I checked in with the others and asked them if it was okay to meet them at the park after we went to the ice cream shop. They said that would be fine, and we trekked to the shop.

When we arrived at the shop we took our time going through the options and debating how many scoops and toppings would feel good. As he was deciding I was surprised to see the rest of the crew come on scene. They set up in a sally port next to the shop, and began to eat lunch or snacks. When the ice cream was delivered I broke out my lunch to eat. Then we all began talking about a wide variety of topics, and we made time to take a bunch of pictures in front of the two murals painted on each side of the sally port.

Once the pictures were taken and everyone’s stomachs were filled we decided to make our way to our destination, but in looking at the map we thought we would see if we could find our way across a small stream and train tracks into the greenbelt so that we could avoid the sound and exhaust of cars during our walk. We were thrilled that no fences were in our way as we carefully walked across the place where the water flows and then across the place where the trains roll. We checked to make sure that no trains were coming and took a quick shot of the crew on the tracks. It could have been an album cover it was so good.

After crossing over the tracks we made our way down into the greenbelt where we followed a variety of trails that led us to West Bouldin Creek. Along our walk we saw a tree that had split and fallen but got caught up by branches to form perpendicular angles. The most amazing thing about the tree was that it was still alive, and the branches of the tree were budding. We guessed that it was a quite recent break, and most likely happened during the deep freeze that Austin experienced in mid-February. The weight of the ice that coated the trees brought down many trees in the area. It was a beautiful area that we walked through, and it would be worth coming back to in the future.

Also in the greenbelt we stumbled upon some tents. One of the Learners wanted to walk toward the tents to see what was happening, but Facilitator Ariel talked to the Learners about the importance of not making a lot of noise and steering clear of the tents for purposes of privacy for the people who were living there. That led to a discussion of public and private spaces, and the different expectations we might hold for others relative to ourselves. When Facilitator Ariel asked if the Learner would feel comfortable if someone was walking through their home looking in their rooms or making a lot of noise the Learner conceded that he would not feel comfortable.

When we finally got to the park we settled in, content in being full and having had had a nice walk through a beautiful green space hidden within the city. Some of the Learners spent time down by the water playing on the edge, watching the turtles scurry away, and watching the ducks float by. One of the Learners took off his shoes and walked in far enough for the water to go halfway up his shins. When he came back out of the water to hang with the rest of the crew we noticed something attached to his leg. It was a leech! Super cool for all, gross for some.

There was some time on the hammock, three of us broke out books to read (two Facilitators and a Learner), and a Learner and I threw the football around. Sadly, due to a lack of communication and poor setup the ball ended up in the lake, and slowly drifted away. In many places along the water there was growth that was deep enough and thick enough to prevent the ball from coming to shore while also preventing us from being able to go in and get it. We thought it was a lost cause.

I then followed a Learner back to the top of a hill that was created to provide a beautiful view of the area. Yesterday we found a large stone map of Texas on there, with a collection of cities or towns and their distance from Austin. On this day, I looked up the population of each of the towns, and then pointed out which larger cities and towns were omitted from the map. While we were up there we watched as a Learner worked the football out of the lake so that we could play with it some more in the future. It was an excellent recovery that allowed us to leave the first week of cycle eight on a high note.

At the other cell there was also a Check-in and Change-up, discussions about what to do when we come into contact with people who do not honor our boundaries, some walking, soccer playing, drone flying, and head-banging to metal music. Also ducks.

Day 109 of AY20-21: a slower day

My commitment to blog about each day of this pandacademic year has taken a real hit lately. Today I am finally getting around to writing about day 109, which was Thursday, March 25th. I hope to catch up soon. It’s just been a pretty busy time recently for me with supporting Learners and families within Abrome, responding to prospective families, and supporting folks doing the good work of liberation outside of Abrome. Plus, the pandemic has certainly wore me down as it has many others. This has been exacerbated by my observation of how people and organizations have thrown in the towel and surrendered to chance instead of prioritizing the health and welfare of others. But we shall fight on.

There is less to talk than usual for Abrome’s day 109, as it was the lowest attendance day we have had in quite a while. One, the cell that was meeting near the lake had to take a remote day, and the Flying Squad cell only had two Learners show up. This was in part because three Learners were still quarantining from the break, and another Learner had planned to take this day off. But slow days are not enough to slow us down.

For the morning meeting the youngest Learner wanted to lead the meeting, and with so few present we were much more flexible with how we would approach the meeting and the day, and we all felt that we could table some of the discussion topics we would have otherwise addressed that morning. For prompts the Learner asked us for our favorite type of sports vehicle, and our favorite type of grass. What we found is that there is not much excitement around sports vehicles in the group, and that bamboo is the favorite type of grass for half of the Abrome crew, as well as giant pandas.

Next we talked about our plans for the day. Both Facilitators expressed a desire to walk a bit and to enjoy some open space and set up the hammock to relax a bit, so we decided to head toward the Long Center to see what that might offer us. Unsurprisingly, the Learners were focused on where they would be able to get food that they were often not able to get at home, and we made plans to stop at a fast food joint and a food truck on our way back to the pickup point at the end of the day.

The weather was glorious, as Facilitator Ariel said, so the walk along the river was particularly nice. Even better, a Learner that had been wearing pants every day decided to follow our advice and wear shorts, which meant that he was able to enjoy the warmer weather instead of having to deal with it. We were thrilled to stumble upon a nice little green patch next to a pond and decided that this was where we were going to set up for a good portion of the day. But first, we took turns running to the bathroom while others watched the backpacks, and then Facilitator Ariel set up the hammock. The hammock was a big hit with the Learners, with each wanting to spend time in it. The hammock also gave us an opportunity to talk about boundaries—the need to ask permission to use someone else’s stuff, masking when close to each other, and when to step back and not engage with someone when they are doing something else (such as answering a phone call).

Facilitator Ariel told a parent of one of the Learners that morning that today might be a good day for light sabers, so one of the Learners brought his light saber, as did Facilitator Ariel. Eventually the light sabers came out and there was a violent battle between the Learners. Fortunately there were no serious injuries had, other than arms that got sliced off and severed arteries.

As we requested a slower day without so many Learners there was also a lot of time sitting and being by ourselves. One Learner found himself down by the pond staring at the birds in the lake, with the skyline of downtown in the distance. Meanwhile, another Learner found himself up a tree and balancing himself well out on a branch that would probably not hold a Learner of a larger size.

We had some challenges on the day, as well. One Learner broke some branches off of a tree and that led to us talking about the Abrome principles: take care of yourself, take care of others, and take care of the space. We talked about whether or not it was appropriate to break branches off of a living tree for the sake of breaking branches, versus having a need for it. Separately, I engaged with a Learner on his need to provide commentary and critique the actions of the other Learner. It seemed that the Learner was trying to establish himself as older and more mature and therefore needing to point out the differences between him and the younger Learner. This allowed us to talk about development and whether or not we should be judging others on age, maturity, or other issues. Finally, there was still a fixation on food for much of the day, even though we committed to going to the food destinations they requested at the end of the day.

But the Facilitators were steadfast in sticking with the original plan, and not going back so early for food that we were left just sitting around waiting for the day to end. With a chunk of time reserved for staying in place, one of the Learners went into discovery mode, and began cloverleafing around our patch of green in the city. Soon he decided to run up a small hill where he found a great view of the city and a representative view of Texas, with select cities all over it. It was a pretty great installation into the city for the public to enjoy, and it would be great if we could find ways to add some context to it so that it included names and history that is not confined to present day Texas.

Having been able to take in the space on this slower day, we packed up and began our trek back to the pickup spot with plans to stop at the food joints along the way. First we hit P. Terry’s where the Learners fell prey to the draw of tasty but not the healthiest of options. Having spent a good amount of money and time there, we then continued our trek to the Thai ice cream food truck we had hit on Monday. This time, though, the Learner who chose to splurge a bit at P. Terry’s did not have the money necessary to get ice cream. It was a great lesson on the limits of money. Meanwhile I keep modeling bringing all my food each day, as a healthier and less expensive alternative to always wanting to prepare food and treats.

Day 102 of AY20-21: a tough day for some

Tuesday was day 102 of the pandacademic year, and that morning I woke up and worked on the blog post for day 100 of this pandacademic year. I got distracted a bit and tinkered with the website. For those who do not know, Abrome is a Self-Directed Education community. We are members of the Agile Learning Center community, Flying Squads, and the Alliance for Self-Directed Education. I updated the website so that each of these were represented on the front page. I’ve only been meaning to do that for over a year now.

When I arrived at Abrome later that morning I got to hand out copies of Usual Cruelty: The Complicity of Lawyers in the Criminal Injustice System by Alec Karakatsanis to everyone who committed to reading and discussing it. The author’s publisher, The New Press, was offering to give free copies to educators and we jumped on it. We will begin to read it this week and we have our first discussion planned for Friday.

When it was time for the morning meeting one of the Learners opted to be the gameshifter and had us sit or stand, and use popcorn to participate in the meeting. Building off the conversation for the day prior, we each shared something about Self-Directed Education that we appreciate or value: freedom to be a little human, being able to wander, Learners not spending energy focused on pleasing adults, instead of someone teaching you you get to freely learn, freedom of speech, safe space, freedom to do anything you please (except murder or things that get you in trouble [later rephrased to except anything that hurts others]), and I don’t have to make lesson plans. That last one was Facilitator Ariel’s contribution.

The meeting went really well and it seemed we were going to have a really good day. Everyone had shown up and the weather was great and people seemed energized. I asked anyone if they wanted to join me in the morning hike and they all passed, so I went up by myself and jumped on a call with the remote Learners. Then I came back down and joined the rest of the crew at the lake, where they most often choose to spend their day.

Reading Usual Cruelty

It was a busy day at the lake as the Learners were engaged in a wide variety of activities. Some of the activities included a couple of Learners riding the bikes that they brought that day, one of the Learners reading their copy of Usual Cruelty, and multiple Learners discussing water births. As for reading outdoors, it is something that all Facilitators and several Learners do at times. While I thoroughly enjoy reading indoors, I am also a big fan of reading outdoors. There’s just something wonderful about being able to dive into a great book when the sun is not too bright and there is a very gentle breeze. I highly recommend it.

Learners checking out video edits

Facilitator Ariel was working on some video edits of the GoPro footage that was taken earlier in the week. He showed some of the Learners the progress he had made on editing the videos, and one of the Learners asked to go deeper in the conversation so that she could also edit some video. They edited some video together, and then Facilitator Ariel gave her some of his footage that she wanted to work on. We will probably upload the product of that initial conversation on our YouTube channel.

Over at the other cell Facilitator Lauren and the younger Learners were having a less easygoing day. For one, the Learners were getting pretty tired of the tick situation. Facilitator Lauren has tried to educate the Learners (and Facilitators) on the presence of ticks, how to protect against them, and how to check for them.

Climbing rocks within safety limits

Also, it was a rough day in terms of safety boundaries. As you know if you have been following us for a while, we want Learners to exist autonomously while at Abrome, but we must also keep them safe. For example, Learners are free to roam, but we are not going to let them play in the middle of a highly trafficked road, or allow them to play on the top of a moss covered dam with water flowing over it. Facilitator Lauren set some safety boundaries on climbing up on higher altitude rocks on this day and the Learners went past it, and this resulted in a difficult situation with Facilitator Lauren asking the Learner to please come down while the Learner protested. It led to difficult conversations afterward about why safety boundaries exist even if we are not a schoolish community. Testing our limits is a good thing, but there are limits to what counts as reasonable limits.

Additionally, the wind that day was a challenge, and a big gust of wind kicked up a lot of dirt and blew it into one of the Learner’s eyes. This is the same Learner who got a really nice cut on his foot thanks to a zebra mussel several months ago, and short of a really tough incident he rarely chooses to go home. But on this day, he chose to go home. That’s just the type of day it was at the other cell.

Furry blue journals are great for math

But it wasn’t all difficult. There was still plenty of play in between the more challenging moments. There was imaginative nature play, and one of the Learners broke out her brand new, furry blue journal where she played with math.

And no, she wasn’t encouraged to do so. At Abrome we don’t try to nudge the Learners to read, write, or do math, much less engage in more advanced academics. We want them to pursue their interests no matter the domain and no matter if it is academically valued in a schooled society. When they want to learn to read or do math then we are happy to be supportive, and we try to cultivate a culture of literacy and numeracy through modeling and psychological safety. But the thing is, all the Learners learn to read, write, and do arithmetic. It is just the way humans are—because it is socially valued they want to learn it. And they do, on their terms, on their timeline.

Back at Abrome I ventured out to the dock where several of the Learners were in conversation and one of the Learners asked me about what it would take for us to be allowed to meet at the Abrome facility, again. He had never even been there because he joined at the beginning of the pandacademic year. I reminded him that we would not be able to do so until we hit pandemic risk stage level 1 in the local region, and that would not likely happen until the summer at the earliest. Further, I added, it may only be an option for those who have been fully vaccinated, and that I would be reviewing the policies over spring break. The conversation allowed us to talk about the effectiveness of the vaccines and the likelihood that it would become available to the Learners by the end of the year.

Later, a group of fisherman showed up to fish on the dock so the Learners cleared out. While we were hanging out nearby, two of the fisherman left for some reason and the remaining fisherman cried out for help. Turns out he was an inexperienced fisherman and he caught a fish. Two Learners approached him, asked him if he needed help, and he said he did. One then assisted in reeling it in, while the other walked him through the steps of how to grab a fish. It was a fun experience for all involved. After that the Learners talked about doing some fishing of their own, in the future.

Captivating conversations

Toward the end of the day one of the Learners asked me if the term “super straight” was transphobic. Turns out that it is a term that is used to self-identify as someone who is straight, and could never possibly be attracted to or date a trans person. It was an interesting question that led us down the path of the implications of using such a term, the different contexts that it might be used in, and whether or not it was even possible to be “straight” to such a degree that it was impossible to be attracted to a trans person. After considering the issue I came to the opinion that it was a transphobic term, regardless of the intentions of the person who uses it, and regardless of the intention behind the creation of the term. I appreciated the opportunity to think about it in an open way, looking at all sides of the possible argument, even if some may be repugnant, and doing so in a way that centered the humanity of trans people. And yeah, “super straight” is most certainly a transphobic term.

After the afternoon roundup and after the Learners all went home the Facilitators had a long after action review where we talked about the events of the day, and some of the real struggles of the day. Self-Directed Education is not always pretty, and sometimes it is downright messy. Sometimes feelings get hurt, and sometimes people get frustrated and frazzled. But that is the cost of freedom. And at the end of the day, we will take a messier freedom than a more orderly form of control.

Day 94 of AY20-21: a planned remote day!

This week started out fabulously on Sunday as the weather broke 70 degrees. Some of Austin was still reeling from the deep freeze and subsequent black outs and burst pipes that came with it, but most of Austin soaked up the sun and moved on. Except for those who were seriously harmed by the cold or who suffered water damage, there was little to recover from as there would be if the disaster was caused by a tornado or flooding. Without visual evidence of the harm suffered all around us I feel that some of the lessons will quickly be lost, particularly the ways in which government entities and NGOs were not there for the people, but how neighbors engaging in mutual aid were. Nonetheless, I was really excited for a week (hopefully) free of disaster.

Unfortunately for the Learners and Facilitators, we were still going to be remote on Monday and Tuesday, our last two days of cycle six. We were remote for all of cycle five (January) because of the latest Covid-19 wave, and for the first week and a half of cycle six. Then we were remote because of inclement weather and the deep freeze for the next week and a half. The reason we are remote for the last two days of the cycle is because they are planned remote days as per our contingency planning document that allow us to have at least nine days between cycles so that Learners can observe for symptoms before coming back together in new cells to limit the potential spread if someone in our community were to become infected. And even though we had not been in-person all cycle (all calendar year), if we came together on Monday and Tuesday it would not allow us to have that necessary separation from one another. I asked Learners and their families to make firm commitments to be in-person or remote by Tuesday so that we could set the cells for the next cycle during our Professional Development Day on Wednesday.

That morning I also read a wonderful article, “Why Did We Ever Send Sick Kids to School?” It discusses the impact of rewards around attendance and the punitive ways that schools have enforced compulsory attendance that directly harm both children and families, but also the ways that it harms everyone in terms of public health. They also pivoted to talking about how this focus on attendance at school also distorts “American culture, which places a high value on productivity, pushing yourself, and “soldiering through” illness in nearly every line of work." It was an excellent article. But there was one glaring error in the article. It said, "schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with academic performance." That is not accurate. Schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with seat time revenue.

Morning meeting

Back to Abrome. Being remote we came together for our morning meeting at 10:00 a.m., as usual. Facilitator Lauren was facilitating. For game shifting she said that we would go in alphabetical order by first name. While it seemed like a fun way to pass off from one person to the next, it worked out terribly as for whatever reason most Learners were not eager to figure out who they would speak after, leading to very long pauses in the meeting. Because we had a strong turnout for the meeting this really stretched out the length of the meeting leading to it going over the 15-minute target for the facilitator of the meeting.

Facilitator Lauren said, “springtime is not until March 20th, and even then it can still be very cold. After experiencing the Texas freeze, share one or two ways that you will prepare to be comfortable during a cold Abrome day [since we will be meeting outdoors].” Most of the answers were similar: bring warm drinks; buy more leggings, make sure I always have water and food, and an extra pair of socks; no cotton [cotton kills], dress in layers, wear a hat; wear more clothes; just wear warm clothes and bring a blanket; wear gloves; “wear shorts, I always do” [this is not recommended], wear huge black or tan snow / hiking pants; arson [bad joke], bring a jacket; wear a jacket and gloves if really cold; wear a jacket; wear warm clothes; bring a jacket. We were hoping to get a broader diversity of responses, but at least everyone seems to understand that how we dress is just as important as how bad the weather is.

After the morning meeting I had two back-to-back one-to-one check-ins scheduled as the lack of internet the prior week forced me to cancel many of them. I had a nice long conversation for the first check-in with a Learner that has been remote now for four cycles. I talked about us going back in-person and how the next cycle was our only two-week cycle of the year and how much I hoped that he would consider joining us. After that he brought up the issue of body cameras for law enforcement, and then we discussed whether or not it was a net positive or negative for police to have body cameras. He spoke positively about accountability and being able to better understand situations, and I spoke about my personal experience of having police and prosecutors refuse to release footage when it shows police doing harm, and the failure of the police and prosecutors to use those videos to punish or prosecute the police, but how they will eagerly use the video against victims of police brutality. It was a lively discussion but we both made room for the other person to share their viewpoints. Because the other Learner did not show up for his one-to-one I was able to extend out the first check-in for an extra 15 minutes.

At 10:45 a.m. we got back into our daily 7-minute workout routine after only being able to do it twice the prior week. All but one showed up from the usual crew, and we all really felt the workout while at the same time being very grateful for having the opportunity to do it again. We gave each other high fives and then departed.

Next up was Facilitator Ariel’s breakfast chat that only Facilitator Lauren showed up for. They enjoyed being able to spend time chatting with each other and I’m really enjoying seeing their personal friendship flourish at Abrome. I have been part of too many communities (e.g., military, investment banking, activist groups) where there is animosity and dislike between people and that has such a caustic, corrosive effect on the culture of a community. Meanwhile, I was on a call with a Learner at their request. During the call they asked for some clarification on their responsibility to others and articulated some clear boundaries they wanted honored. I was surprised to hear what they had to say, but so grateful for them having the trust in me and the community to be able to share their concerns. I hope that we can continue to build trust so that Learners always feel able to self-advocate and set boundaries.

With a rare window of availability in time, and with the roads free of ice, I was able to make a long overdue trip to the bank in the middle of the day to deposit some tuition checks I had been holding onto since the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Facilitator Lauren hosted her art and fart offering which we really did anticipate being popular among a subset of Learners. It never really took off. But Facilitator Ariel did drop in. Then I had my free write offering which no one showed up for but that I used for some dedicated writing time. We have been hosting these offerings to hold space for Learners during this unfortunate remote period during this pandacademic year, so we get the value of it, but it is still disappointing when Learners do not take up the offerings. But we are a Self-Directed Education community and we value their autonomy and consent, so we do not demand it, either. Meanwhile, we are getting good turnout in morning and afternoon meetings, and most check-ins, so clearly they are valuing connection. But it’s pretty overwhelming from our perspective—we cannot wait to be back in-person again.

Book reading offering

Former Facilitator Jennifer sent me a message two weeks ago encouraging me to read How to Talk to an Autistic Kid by Daniel Stefanski. I did, and then I decided to host an offering where I would read it to anyone who showed up. I originally scheduled it for last week but rescheduled it twice thanks to the freeze. At 2:30 p.m., I read the book to the two Facilitators and one young Learner who showed up for the offering. A couple of times during the reading we stopped to discuss an experience that was shared by Stefanski, an actually autistic kid. We talked about the ways that some of his experiences related to our experiences, and we talked about things we have observed, particularly in schoolish settings in the past.

Facilitator Ariel started the afternoon roundup at 3:30 p.m. with a review of the Community Awareness Board, and then opened up the meeting to announcements. Next he asked everyone to close their eyes and think of a happy memory. Then he asked what color was most prominent, and the associated memory if they wanted to share it. Interestingly, there were a lot of earthy responses.

• browns: running in the mud, climbing trees, and the color of my mom’s arms

• orange/brown: a loved one gifted her a book that she wanted for a long time and it had a hard orange/brown cover with ridged pages

• cardinal red: when I was deployed to Iraq I got my broken admissions binder to Stanford weeks late in a very beat up package, and inside the cardinal red binder was a note from the dean of admissions saying I got accepted to the MBA program, meaning that I had a plan for after the military which I could not leave quickly enough

• blue: the color of the swimming pool I swam in on my 11th birthday

• yellowish color of drywall: the color of the wall from a time I was playing Minecraft with a friend on his mom’s computer in his mom’s room

• blue and green: being outside with family

• green: an animation color

• black and white: because of the colors of the bird Carolina chickadee

• green: frog

• green: I like being in the woods, and the time I went canoeing in an old metal canoe on a green watered lake

After the afternoon roundup all the Learners bolted and the Facilitators recapped and discussed the events of the day in our daily after action review meeting. We also talked about the professional development that we had planned for Wednesday, and agreed on a public park that we could come together to hold it at, masked and distanced, of course. It was a long day and we were ready to log off for the day, so we said goodbye. I then spent my evening taking Cuddle Buddies Ivan and Ingrid on a very long walk, delivering a workbook on decolonizing non-violent communication to a local activist, and reading.

Day 82 of AY20-21: what are we giving?

Thursday was day 82 of the pandacademic year and Facilitator Lauren opened the meeting with a review of practices and then opened it up for people to share announcements. Then each of us shared what we would like our first act to be as soon as the pandemic ends: drive to parents house, hug them, and cuddle with them; get ice cream with friends; go play at the park with my friends; go to Main Event and try to hang out with friends; say “oh, cool” and then go back to doing what I usually do; visit my aunt in Pennsylvania; go back to what I was doing; get in the car and take a really long road trip to the east coast to see friends and family; “same as [what other Learner said]”; go to Abrome and ride my e-bike; go to a pool with a high dive and a slide; gonna spend the day with my partner because we haven’t had more than two hours together like every four months. The answers tended to fall along age and technology lines. It seemed that older Learners and Facilitators wanted to go be with people they haven’t been able to see much during the pandemic, younger Learners wanted to go play with friends, and those in between tended to want to just go to places where other people were. And the ones who would just go back to doing what they were doing tend to spend a good amount of time interacting with others via their computers.

High fives!

After the morning meeting I had a one-to-one check-in on Discord with the Learner who would like to go to a pool with a high dive and a slide. We talked about how the Abrome meetings were treating her, and about coming back together again in-person, hopefully soon. Then when we finished I jumped back on Zoom for the daily 7-minute workout with the usual crew. We all appreciated the movement early in the day and gave each other high fives before going our separate ways.

Coffee and read

Next up was Facilitator Ariel’s coffee and read offering, which has not had a great turnout as of late. Nonetheless, we both enjoyed drinking caffeinated drinks, reading our books, and discussing our books at the end of the offering. Following coffee and read, Facilitator Lauren had two one-to-one check-ins with adolescent Learners, and the Learner from the second check-in then immediately joined me for another check-in.

In my one-to-one check-in we talked about the Jurassic Park movie series, and I told him I had no clue there were that many Jurassic Park movies. Then we talked about other movies series to include Star Wars and Jaws. I told him I tended to prefer stand alone movies, and had a hard time naming a series I particularly liked. I said, Cars, I guess. Looking back on it I probably would have added Bridget Jones. He was pretty disappointed, but not as much as I was when he said he hates Asian food. I said Asia was the largest continent that covered many different cuisines. He said he hated them all. I started to name out some of the more popular cuisines and he was pretty insistent that he preferred American food. I told him that when we are back together at the Abrome facility that he can join us on our treks around the city to sample different types of cuisines for lunch.

Sandman by Neil Gaiman

Facilitator Ariel followed up his coffee and read with another offering, a comic book reading that two Learners initially dropped in for. They began reading Sandman by Neil Gaiman, a graphic novel series about the inevitability of change. Once orientated (they googled a few summaries), they embarked on a plan to read a large section each week. While one Learner dropped off the call, the Learner who stuck it out until the end commented, “I guess this is just our thing!”

Stinging nettles (ouch)

At 1:00 p.m. Facilitator Lauren went on a virtual plant walk with the Learner who also dropped in for the comic book reading. It felt really nice to be outside even though we are stuck meeting remotely during risk stage level five. During the plant walk offering Facilitator Lauren and the adolescent Learner discovered that spring greens are popping up all over! Stinging Nettles were the most exciting find, followed by Cucumber Plant and Cleaver!

Unfortunately no one came to my daily free write on Thursday, but that did not stop me from writing. But at the same time, the weather was so beautiful outside, and unseasonably warm (82 degrees!!), that I knew I just had to take advantage of the unoccupied time to keep my promise of jumping in the lake at least once per month this pandacademic year as per my polar bear club agreement with the Learners. I had a book reading offering coming up so I quickly trekked to the park, to the lake, into the lake, away from the lake, and back to Abrome all within my 45 minute window. It was cold and refreshing, and I hope March is just as kind.

The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries (alternate ending to The Giving Tree)

While I was jumping in the water both Facilitator Ariel and Facilitator Lauren had one-to-one check-ins with adolescent Learners. I got back in time for my 2:30 p.m. book reading, and both of the Facilitators ended their check-ins in time to join me. Unfortunately no other Learners showed up for what I believe is just a beautiful story. Not The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, although it is a nice story and I read that first, but The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries by Topher Payne, which provides an alternative ending that offers up a much better lesson to readers.

For those who have not read the alternative ending I am including a video of the reading here.

The reading only lasted 15 minutes, so we had some time between the reading and the afternoon roundup. I was able to use that time to do some financial and administrative work for Abrome.

The afternoon roundup was led by Facilitator Ariel. He started out by reviewing the practices from the Community Awareness Board, he gave folks an opportunity to share announcements, and then he used gameshifting to set the conditions of the responses to the prompt—popcorn. But before he got to the prompt he shared a quote from Denzel Washington (see picture).

Afternoon roundup prompt aid

Then each person shared how they felt they can give back to the people around them: I am good with my words and I find it easy to communicate so I can help organize people together and clean up lines of communication; treat people with respect, be a decent person; I don’t know; I can call out oppression when I see it, by being a friendly and nice person; not complaining when things don’t go my way; I have the capacity hold space for others, but I need to be in psychological fitness to be able to offer support; be a decent person; being friendly; doing what I can for the community. We noticed that some Learners repeated what others said. It might be helpful to ask folks to not repeat what others said at a future meeting, and to instead come up with something unique to them.

Day 11 of AY20-21: working on honoring boundaries

On Tuesday the weather looked to take a turn for the better, although it was still forecasted to rain through the morning. I anticipated more Learners showing up on day eleven than on day ten, but our numbers decreased. Two Learners chose to stay home because of the weather, two others stayed home to order clothes better suited for rainy and cold weather, and another is still out of state. Meanwhile, the other cell started the day with more Learners than we did, although they didn’t finish the day that way. More on that later.

We believe in play at Abrome—lots of it

With so few Learners in our cell on Tuesday we had lots of flexibility to entertain the wants of the Learners. During our morning meeting we shared what we were excited to do during the day, we reviewed our awarenesses (five of them) and the practices we are working on this week, and then we played a game that we made up that morning. Everyone was really into the game, and we had been playing for over thirty minutes when we finally got tired (some sprinting was involved for the more eager participants) and decided it was time to move on with our day.

Picturesque, indeed

One Learner said they wanted to move back to the lake (which they had not been to since last week) while Facilitator Lauren said that she was hoping to go on a hike instead of going straight to the lake. We found a good compromise is taking what we assumed would be a short detour down a path that we found on Monday. And it was a beautiful, short hike. Along the way we came across a bunch of ants frantically working, a picturesque tree and grapevine that framed the trail, and a rusted metal frame of some sort that was certainly out of place along the side of the trail. One of the Learners and Facilitator Lauren talked about magic and superheroes during the walk.

Because of the longer game we played in the morning meeting, I was rushed to set up the zoom room for the remote Learners when I arrived at the lake. And after the morning meeting we checked on the tadpoles we had been helping out. We were thrilled to see the puddles were larger than we had ever seen them before, and the remaining tadpoles bigger and much more lively than they were last Friday.

Digging a “baby trap” is hard work (play)

While we were not surprised to see so few people in the park on Monday, because of the weather, we were surprised to not see many people in the park on Tuesday. Rain was forecasted in the morning but it never materialized, and the weather turned out to be quite beautiful, if not sunny. Throughout the day we didn’t even see any boats on the lake—noticing only one person going by on a jet ski. And although getting wet was a problem the day before for the Learners, they had no problem getting wet on this day. Specifically, they began digging in the sand on a small inlet on the shore of the lake. They said they were digging a “baby trap” (no babies were harmed), and it required some frantic efforts that splashed water all over their shirts and their pants. In addition to the weather being more welcoming, they appeared to be dressed in clothing that pulled the water off the skin, as opposed to holding it agains the skin as cotton does.

The most challenging part of the day was addressing boundaries; a challenge for my cell and the other Abrome cell. In my cell there was some throwing of small sticks, tossing of sand, and kicking water at others in a joking manner, but without consent. We raised the awareness multiple times and that helped modify the behavior. But addressing the issue of boundaries and consent seemed to leave one of the Learners a bit embarrassed or insecure, and they reverted to insulting me. The Learner received direct feedback from me and Facilitator Lauren about this, and we pointed to our principles, agreements, and the practices we were working on that addressed why the behavior was problematic and how we were working together on it to improve the culture at Abrome.

Shortly thereafter the Learners ran up the hill to hang out at a favorite spot. But because of the recent rains and occasionally strong wind gusts we asked them to not hang out under the pecan trees. The young Learner who was having difficulties with the boundaries previously mentioned began yelling over us asking them to please move away from the pecan trees. This led to a conversation about how when it comes to safety boundaries we will be directive if we need to be to protect everyone in the community. I was then told by Facilitator Jennifer in the other cell that the day was ending early for some of the younger Learners because they had ventured off beyond an agreed upon distance. The Learners, one of who needs support for spatial awareness, had been reminded multiple times to honor the safety boundary and had been told that if they couldn’t honor that that they would need to go home for the day. So Facilitator Jennifer called their parents for an early pickup and had a conversation with them about why safety boundaries are important to us as a community, even if we are far more willing than most to allow them to engage in risky play. One of the Learners replied, “Jennifer, I like you, but you just ruined my day.”

Post-difficult boundaries conversation at our cell, the Learners were back at playing in the water, talking to the Facilitators, and hanging out on the dock. One of the Learners focused on a fairly large rock and decided to see if he could lift it. He could not, but he could roll it into the lake. We decided to bring the rock back out of the lake so that I could see how big of a splash it would make if thrown in the lake from overhead. I don’t know if it was bad form on my part or the angle of the rock face when it went in the water but I got soaked in the process.

Meme shared by the South Austin Unschoolers

Side note: Facilitator Lauren took a video of me throwing the rock into the lake, and in my phone when I went to look at the photos and videos for this blog post, I saw next to it a picture I got from the South Austin Unschoolers group on Facebook about the stress of e-learning coming at parents who have their kids in conventional schools while unschooled parents look on, untouched. I think I could make a meme where in the video I am conventional school leaders, the rock is their (indoor) school reopening plans, and the water splashing back on them is Covid-19 cases.

Talk about a cute baby turtle

Facilitator Lauren later found a feather and took it to the Learners to see if they could identify the bird it came from by comparing it to the images in a field guide she pulled out. And then I found the cutest little baby turtle floating in the lake that we pulled out and looked at. One of the Learners was quite concerned about the welfare of the turtle and suggested that we put it back in the water and let it alone, so we did.

I then stepped away for a quick afternoon check-in with a remote Learner. We discussed the upcoming Scary Story offering that they are hosting, and I received updates on the creepy decorations she was adding to her Halloween themed bedroom. After the remote check-in, I joined the afternoon roundup for everyone present at the lake. We each shared the best thing about our day, the worst thing about our day, and the second best thing about our day. We also played a drinking game of “never have I ever” so that each Learner and Facilitator could get more water in them. We ended our day with a short walk back to the pickup location where the Learners rides were waiting for them. It was a good day, with great weather, and very needed conversations about boundaries. It was one of those days that will help make future days even better.