Day 94 of AY20-21: a planned remote day!

This week started out fabulously on Sunday as the weather broke 70 degrees. Some of Austin was still reeling from the deep freeze and subsequent black outs and burst pipes that came with it, but most of Austin soaked up the sun and moved on. Except for those who were seriously harmed by the cold or who suffered water damage, there was little to recover from as there would be if the disaster was caused by a tornado or flooding. Without visual evidence of the harm suffered all around us I feel that some of the lessons will quickly be lost, particularly the ways in which government entities and NGOs were not there for the people, but how neighbors engaging in mutual aid were. Nonetheless, I was really excited for a week (hopefully) free of disaster.

Unfortunately for the Learners and Facilitators, we were still going to be remote on Monday and Tuesday, our last two days of cycle six. We were remote for all of cycle five (January) because of the latest Covid-19 wave, and for the first week and a half of cycle six. Then we were remote because of inclement weather and the deep freeze for the next week and a half. The reason we are remote for the last two days of the cycle is because they are planned remote days as per our contingency planning document that allow us to have at least nine days between cycles so that Learners can observe for symptoms before coming back together in new cells to limit the potential spread if someone in our community were to become infected. And even though we had not been in-person all cycle (all calendar year), if we came together on Monday and Tuesday it would not allow us to have that necessary separation from one another. I asked Learners and their families to make firm commitments to be in-person or remote by Tuesday so that we could set the cells for the next cycle during our Professional Development Day on Wednesday.

That morning I also read a wonderful article, “Why Did We Ever Send Sick Kids to School?” It discusses the impact of rewards around attendance and the punitive ways that schools have enforced compulsory attendance that directly harm both children and families, but also the ways that it harms everyone in terms of public health. They also pivoted to talking about how this focus on attendance at school also distorts “American culture, which places a high value on productivity, pushing yourself, and “soldiering through” illness in nearly every line of work." It was an excellent article. But there was one glaring error in the article. It said, "schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with academic performance." That is not accurate. Schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with seat time revenue.

Morning meeting

Back to Abrome. Being remote we came together for our morning meeting at 10:00 a.m., as usual. Facilitator Lauren was facilitating. For game shifting she said that we would go in alphabetical order by first name. While it seemed like a fun way to pass off from one person to the next, it worked out terribly as for whatever reason most Learners were not eager to figure out who they would speak after, leading to very long pauses in the meeting. Because we had a strong turnout for the meeting this really stretched out the length of the meeting leading to it going over the 15-minute target for the facilitator of the meeting.

Facilitator Lauren said, “springtime is not until March 20th, and even then it can still be very cold. After experiencing the Texas freeze, share one or two ways that you will prepare to be comfortable during a cold Abrome day [since we will be meeting outdoors].” Most of the answers were similar: bring warm drinks; buy more leggings, make sure I always have water and food, and an extra pair of socks; no cotton [cotton kills], dress in layers, wear a hat; wear more clothes; just wear warm clothes and bring a blanket; wear gloves; “wear shorts, I always do” [this is not recommended], wear huge black or tan snow / hiking pants; arson [bad joke], bring a jacket; wear a jacket and gloves if really cold; wear a jacket; wear warm clothes; bring a jacket. We were hoping to get a broader diversity of responses, but at least everyone seems to understand that how we dress is just as important as how bad the weather is.

After the morning meeting I had two back-to-back one-to-one check-ins scheduled as the lack of internet the prior week forced me to cancel many of them. I had a nice long conversation for the first check-in with a Learner that has been remote now for four cycles. I talked about us going back in-person and how the next cycle was our only two-week cycle of the year and how much I hoped that he would consider joining us. After that he brought up the issue of body cameras for law enforcement, and then we discussed whether or not it was a net positive or negative for police to have body cameras. He spoke positively about accountability and being able to better understand situations, and I spoke about my personal experience of having police and prosecutors refuse to release footage when it shows police doing harm, and the failure of the police and prosecutors to use those videos to punish or prosecute the police, but how they will eagerly use the video against victims of police brutality. It was a lively discussion but we both made room for the other person to share their viewpoints. Because the other Learner did not show up for his one-to-one I was able to extend out the first check-in for an extra 15 minutes.

At 10:45 a.m. we got back into our daily 7-minute workout routine after only being able to do it twice the prior week. All but one showed up from the usual crew, and we all really felt the workout while at the same time being very grateful for having the opportunity to do it again. We gave each other high fives and then departed.

Next up was Facilitator Ariel’s breakfast chat that only Facilitator Lauren showed up for. They enjoyed being able to spend time chatting with each other and I’m really enjoying seeing their personal friendship flourish at Abrome. I have been part of too many communities (e.g., military, investment banking, activist groups) where there is animosity and dislike between people and that has such a caustic, corrosive effect on the culture of a community. Meanwhile, I was on a call with a Learner at their request. During the call they asked for some clarification on their responsibility to others and articulated some clear boundaries they wanted honored. I was surprised to hear what they had to say, but so grateful for them having the trust in me and the community to be able to share their concerns. I hope that we can continue to build trust so that Learners always feel able to self-advocate and set boundaries.

With a rare window of availability in time, and with the roads free of ice, I was able to make a long overdue trip to the bank in the middle of the day to deposit some tuition checks I had been holding onto since the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Facilitator Lauren hosted her art and fart offering which we really did anticipate being popular among a subset of Learners. It never really took off. But Facilitator Ariel did drop in. Then I had my free write offering which no one showed up for but that I used for some dedicated writing time. We have been hosting these offerings to hold space for Learners during this unfortunate remote period during this pandacademic year, so we get the value of it, but it is still disappointing when Learners do not take up the offerings. But we are a Self-Directed Education community and we value their autonomy and consent, so we do not demand it, either. Meanwhile, we are getting good turnout in morning and afternoon meetings, and most check-ins, so clearly they are valuing connection. But it’s pretty overwhelming from our perspective—we cannot wait to be back in-person again.

Book reading offering

Former Facilitator Jennifer sent me a message two weeks ago encouraging me to read How to Talk to an Autistic Kid by Daniel Stefanski. I did, and then I decided to host an offering where I would read it to anyone who showed up. I originally scheduled it for last week but rescheduled it twice thanks to the freeze. At 2:30 p.m., I read the book to the two Facilitators and one young Learner who showed up for the offering. A couple of times during the reading we stopped to discuss an experience that was shared by Stefanski, an actually autistic kid. We talked about the ways that some of his experiences related to our experiences, and we talked about things we have observed, particularly in schoolish settings in the past.

Facilitator Ariel started the afternoon roundup at 3:30 p.m. with a review of the Community Awareness Board, and then opened up the meeting to announcements. Next he asked everyone to close their eyes and think of a happy memory. Then he asked what color was most prominent, and the associated memory if they wanted to share it. Interestingly, there were a lot of earthy responses.

• browns: running in the mud, climbing trees, and the color of my mom’s arms

• orange/brown: a loved one gifted her a book that she wanted for a long time and it had a hard orange/brown cover with ridged pages

• cardinal red: when I was deployed to Iraq I got my broken admissions binder to Stanford weeks late in a very beat up package, and inside the cardinal red binder was a note from the dean of admissions saying I got accepted to the MBA program, meaning that I had a plan for after the military which I could not leave quickly enough

• blue: the color of the swimming pool I swam in on my 11th birthday

• yellowish color of drywall: the color of the wall from a time I was playing Minecraft with a friend on his mom’s computer in his mom’s room

• blue and green: being outside with family

• green: an animation color

• black and white: because of the colors of the bird Carolina chickadee

• green: frog

• green: I like being in the woods, and the time I went canoeing in an old metal canoe on a green watered lake

After the afternoon roundup all the Learners bolted and the Facilitators recapped and discussed the events of the day in our daily after action review meeting. We also talked about the professional development that we had planned for Wednesday, and agreed on a public park that we could come together to hold it at, masked and distanced, of course. It was a long day and we were ready to log off for the day, so we said goodbye. I then spent my evening taking Cuddle Buddies Ivan and Ingrid on a very long walk, delivering a workbook on decolonizing non-violent communication to a local activist, and reading.

Day 93 of AY20-21: the final day of a long week

I slept in until 6:00 a.m. on Friday because the early morning wake ups are not as helpful when the internet is down. Plus, the added sleep was needed by my body as it tries to process all of the trauma that was all around us in Central Texas during the week.

That morning my phone was able to work fairly well as a hotspot and I had enough internet to read some online articles. I read some education related articles, which is never a super great way to start the day because of how frustrating it is to hear education folks talking about how to manipulate kids into performing for the system, instead of using the system as a vehicle to maximize the quality of life for the child. Oftentimes the focus of these articles is not even on the children, it is on the adults, but with the same end of performance in mind.

One such article talked about the importance of schools reducing stress and burnout on teachers, and not placing the responsibility of well-being on the teachers who are subjected to the structures and practices of schooling. It said, “Instead of “make space to restore your balance” or “find time to exercise more,” schools need to acknowledge their role in the problem and put in place the structures, practices, and time for self-care, reflection, and general well-being among educators, school staff, and the leaders themselves.” And yes, absolutely, who can disagree with that?

They even provided seven ideas for schools to start with:

1. Survey Teachers—And Listen to Them

2. Give Teachers an (Actual) Break

3. Stop Watching the Clock

4. Create Shared Agreements

5. Plan for Regular and Informal Check-Ins

6. Schedule Planning Time for Teachers

7. Model and Support Wellness

That is certainly a great place to start. But what about the kids? How could this list be altered to serve children? What if we tried to make sense of the list by replacing the word "teachers" with "students", and adjusting the rest of it so that it was relevant to young people? Let’s start with the quoted sentence above, first: “Instead of “[mindfulness]” schools need to acknowledge their role in the problem and put in place the structures, practices, and time for self-care, reflection, and general well-being among [students].”

And here are seven ideas on how to get started:

1. Survey [students]—And Listen to Them

2. Give [students] an (Actual) Break

3. Stop [forcing attendance]

4. Create [consensual] Agreements

5. Plan for Regular and Informal Check-Ins

6. Allow for unlimited free play

7. Model and Support Wellness

It is not very difficult to serve the needs of children … if you let go of schooling.

Then I began to work on the blog post for day 92 so that I did not fall behind on my goal of one blogpost per day during this pandacademic year. While I was doing that I received a Slack message from Facilitator Ariel concerning some anxiety he was feeling over not being present enough at Abrome during the week as he was supporting mutual aid efforts in the area. I jumped on a quick call to assure him that what he was doing was vitally important, and that he was modeling exactly the type of behavior that is so critical for young people to see—people helping people. It’s not like sitting around constantly checking to see if internet is working, like me, was exactly being present at Abrome.

In the morning meeting Facilitator Ariel led with deep breaths as a grounding practice, then shared the agenda, and very quickly reviewed the Community Awareness Board. Each of us then shared something we had been grateful for during the challenging week: having good service at house, all of you at Abrome, and my Subaru; grateful for everyone at Abrome—life has been rough and you help me get through it; spectrum person who turned on the internet; same as [what the prior Learner / his sibling said]; a friend in Atlanta checked in on me and shared some really helpful information; "I rather keep it to myself”; I have power and electricity; mutual support among family and community; being in power grid where power stays on; dogs.

Next up was the weekly Check-in and Change-up meetings where we co-create culture with one another. Everyone stuck around for the Check-in which was appreciated. One of the older Learners raised an awareness of people talking over others in meetings. No one else raised any awarenesses so Facilitator Lauren adjourned the meeting and then started the Change-up meeting, which two Learners stuck around for. While we only had two prior awarenesses on the Community Awareness Board and were only considering one new one, we really dug in to understand what our needs were and how to articulate them. The older Learner in particular was very engaged in the process. It was a good meeting that we can hopefully leverage over our last two days of the cycle (Monday and Tuesday).

Modified high five

Having only completed one 7-minute workout during the week, I was intent on trying to make on Friday. Unfortunately, because I was still without reliable internet I was going to have to try to do it off of my phone. Facilitator Lauren helped me test to see if I could simultaneously run Zoom and the workout app off of my phone, and I found that I could, but that any attendees would not be able to hear the app. I decided that I would just narrate the workout and do the countdowns for the attendees. It turned out to be just the two of us, and it turned out to be an energizing and tiring workout. We did not miss our chance to give each other high fives after the workout, as usual, but I had to adapt my high five considering I had no video.

As the day inched forward I spent much of my time doomscrolling on my phone. While doomscrolling is typically not a great way to spend time, I had too much on my mind to do anything as productive as writing, or to do anything as enjoyable as reading. Besides, we were on the tail end of a humanitarian disaster in Austin. Not a Katrina level disaster, but enough of a disaster that hundreds of thousands of people in Austin realized that our best hope was to help each other, as those in positions of leadership are anywhere from ambivalent to antagonistic to the needs of the people. The good news is that the ice was melting, people were getting their power back, and most of the housed and the houseless survived the Texas freeze. But we were not in the clear quite yet, as many had been stranded with insufficient food and supplies for the week. Additionally, most of the city had no water. Thankfully there were people on the ground helping others.

Meanwhile, Facilitator Ariel was busy driving all over town picking up and delivering supplies. The biggest haul of the day was when they got word that Whole Foods was about to throw out a bunch of food, so he and some others rushed over to see if they could take the food to immediately distribute to those in need. Fortunately, everyone at Whole Foods was in agreement that the food should be offered up to the mutual aid effort.

Another unexpected benefit of the freeze is that I think all the Abrome Learners and their families will have a good appreciation for what it means to be prepared to meet in-person in cold weather now. But the Learners who were without power for days may feel that they now have an immunity to the cold, although I don’t think that will be the case.

On Discord, one of the Learners pointed out that it has been 10 years since the “Friday” song by Rebecca Black was released. I looked for an update about that and stumbled upon a video that pointed out that she was so relentlessly bullied at school after her video went viral that her mom pulled her from school so that she could homeschool. Great move, mom! I later found out that she had just released a remix and shared that on Discord, as well. That was about the extent of my interaction with the Learners outside of the meetings on Friday. I had a Discord hangout offering and a free write offering on the schedule for that day, but no Learners showed up for them.

Facilitator Lauren was able to connect with two adolescent Learners during the day. The two who had been without power for much of the week. Both meetings were positive and energetic, with one of the check-in ins running a half hour long. During that meeting the Learner was more interested in talking about the pandemic and whether or not we would be able to have a normal, pandemic-free fall. Facilitator Lauren also had a movement and music offering that an older Learner showed up for where they shared music with each other.

By the afternoon I was in position to host the afternoon roundup. I shared the agenda, reviewed the new awareness and the updated practices on the Community Awareness Board, and then opened the meeting for announcements. For the prompts I asked people to please raise their hand either on video or with the Zoom emoji. The prompt was, what is one or two things you learned this week that could help you help others during the next crisis? I asked for the Learners to take the prompt seriously so that we could all learn from each other. We took time to reflect and then shared: get to know your neighbors, build mutual aid networks; conserve electricity and water, be mindful of how my actions impact others, put more effort and energy into helping other people prep; I learned we should be prepared no matter what because we never know, trying to help others; get extra firewood to share; check for updates to share info, limit electricity; be prepared — get a flashlight, be on standby, have water and food; getting to know your neighbors; conserve electricity; I have friends who have trailers and stuff so I can use them to help others; didn’t learn anything. Well, hopefully the person who did not learn anything learned something from the other Learners.

And that was the day. And that was the week. A particularly exhausting week in a particularly exhausting month of the pandacademic year. We survived, and many of us left the week with a much greater appreciation of community and of finding ways to support others.

Day 92 of AY20-21: getting through another day during the Texas freeze

Thursday was day 92 of our pandacademic year and what felt like day 30 of the Texas freeze. We said we were going to be remote two nights prior, and without access to internet and therefore unable to do much of the work that I typically do before the Abrome day starts, and because I was feeling extremely tired, I had planned to sleep in an extra two hours on Thursday. But before I went to sleep I did check on the situation in Austin and it did not look pretty.

One of the most concerning issues was that even though many homes were thankfully starting to get power back, they were now running out of water for a variety of reasons (i.e., their pipes were frozen, their pipes burst, water mains burst). And while the state was able to keep hospitals powered up by cutting power to homes, they could not do the same with water.

Multiple hospitals in Austin lost water on Wednesday evening. There are obviously major implications to a hospital losing water including limitations on being able to stop the spread of infections through hand washing and being unable to dispose of human waste. On top of that, one of the hospitals lost heat. While what we are facing in Texas is no Katrina level type of humanitarian disaster, it is a disaster nonetheless, and this news was super concerning.

I was then sent a picture of a private text message about how bad things really were. The hospitals that were already dealing with people being brought in on the verge of freezing to death, from traffic accidents from the iced over roads, and the ever present reality of Covid-19, now had to deal with overflowing toilets and flooded operating rooms.

On top of that, then Austin issued a citywide boil water notice. So now the water was unsafe to consume, if you even had running water. Oh, but many people had no electricity or cell coverage so how were they to know there was a boil water notice? And people with power likely had no way to boil the water. The city also told people to be prepared to not have access to water, potable or not, for days, maybe even deep into next week. It’s been a lot for so many to deal with.

While there has been much pain and suffering in Central Texas there did seem to be hope on the horizon. The weather was going to get better during the day, and each day through the weekend. The power situation was looking like it would improve for most over the coming 24 hours, and that would make the water situation a bit more bearable and less dangerous. The roads would get better by the day. And perhaps most fortuitously, with the forced quarantine of hundreds of thousands of people the levels of Covid-19 infection will hopefully drop substantially on the tail end of this.

Facilitator Lauren with power and internet at home!

Facilitator Lauren led the morning meeting. 11 people showed up, including 8 Learners, a pretty remarkable showing considering all that was going on this week. Facilitator Lauren first led a grounding practice that consisted of deep breaths. Then she set game shifting to jump in (meaning when one wanted to talk they should just talk), reviewed our practices on the Community Awareness Board, and then shared the prompt. Everyone then responded with the one thing they would have gotten if they could go back to the days before the storm: a heated blanket; water and firewood, or a 2” lift on car; firewood; food for my lizard; cereal; pizza; more research into what outdoor gear could be used indoors; warmer weather or a scarf; IDK, playing with friends; nothing (my only problem has been internet; n/a (in Colorado).

After the morning meeting I was pretty much out of contact with the Learners for much of the day. I had no internet and even my cell reception was terrible, so Facilitator Lauren removed my offerings and check-ins from the calendar. I spent much of the day reading, thinking, and communicating with others over text.

Loading up supplies

Meanwhile, Facilitator Ariel moved into his one-to-one check-in with an older Learner, and then took off for the day. He again spent his day working with Austin Mutual Aid collecting and distributing much needed supplies to folks all over the city. The mutual aid work that he and the others in Austin were doing this week, as well as in other cities impacted by the disaster, was life-saving.

More supplies

Facilitator Lauren, at home with power and internet, helped keep everyone connected during the day. This included connecting with the Learners’ families that she had not connected with the day before.

Facilitator Lauren also had check-ins with two adolescent Learners who are excited for all of this disaster stuff to be over with (depending on the definition of disaster that could be a long time). In the afternoon she hosted a yoga offering, which one other Learner dropped in for.

Delivering supplies with Austin Mutual Aid

During the day I received a call from a classmate of mine from Stanford. He shared news of the tragic death of another classmate of ours who was also my classmate at West Point. I had not spoken to the deceased classmate in several years, and the news brought a lot of feelings up for me. In the midst of the crisis that millions of people were dealing with in Texas, I was reminded of the sharp pain that each casualty caused on the lives of those around them. I also thought deeply about the reasons we choose to stay close to some people and move away from others, and the role that personal values, appeals to power, and personal priorities can play in that. Even though this classmate was physical close to me, he was also a million miles away.

Nice turnout for the afternoon roundup

The end of the day came fast. I was in a better internet situation for the afternoon roundup than I was the morning meeting, but not in a good enough situation to turn my video on. With my internet situation and with Facilitator Ariel in the streets helping people, Facilitator Lauren took charge of the afternoon roundup. She started with the count off practice that I used for the afternoon roundup on Wednesday. It would be harder on this day as we again had eight Learners show up (ten people total including the two Facilitators). We got it on our third try, with my number being lucky number nine. Facilitator Lauren then reviewed the Community Awareness Board, and set our communication style with popcorn. Then each of us shared one thing that we can do during the evening to enjoy ourselves despite what’s been happening around us: work on cleaning my room; play video games; I have power now so I can bake acorn squash bread; play Minecraft; read books; getting Nerds (the candy); spend time with boyfriend on face time; play games with friends; breathe; breathe, too.

What a day.

Day 91 of AY20-21: holding space in a failed state

Day 91 of the pandacedemic year was not exactly a day in the park. The night prior the Facilitators decided to call off in-person meet ups for the rest of the week. There was just too much going on for us to seriously entertain the idea of bringing people together with multiple Abrome families having no power and heat, or frozen water pipes. On top of that, the roads were iced over across much of the county, and the weather forecasts suggested that they would ice over each night meaning that even if we did not have families struggling with the blackouts that it would still be unsafe to come together. This is on top of the trauma of knowing that scores of thousands of people in Austin were at serious risk of losing their homes or their lives.

That evening I sent an email letting families know we would definitely be remote for the rest of the week, along with some advice for how to survive the cold if they had no power, and some potential ways they could support mutual aid efforts on the ground.

On Wednesday morning the roads were indeed iced over. I took the Cuddle Buddies out for a walk and they confirmed that it would indeed be extremely foolish for Abrome to encourage anyone to take to the roads to meet up in a park.

It was depressing getting reports on all of the suffering that folks were facing in Austin and throughout the state. The suffering people were facing went well beyond discomfort. It was also disappointing and sad to see so many people across the country mocking the suffering in Texas merely because of who the elected politicians are. I get mocking the politicians or political parties, but to mock the suffering was disgusting.

“Our students have now lost an additional three, and it could be five, days of learning,” said Grenita Lathan, the interim superintendent in Houston. “And we were already behind.”

People are literally freezing to death and this is what a superintendent chooses to put out?

— Abrome (@AbromeEd) February 17, 2021

And while I am never surprised at conventional schools’ focus on “achievement” at the expense of child welfare, and in this pandacademic year in particular their disregard for the mental health of their students, I was greatly disheartened to read about what the superintendent in Houston had to say about the Texas freeze that has paralyzed the state. She said, “Our students have now lost an additional three, and it could be five, days of learning. And we were already behind.” Instead of empathizing with the suffering that her students are dealing with, or concerning herself with how to support them, her focus was on the mythical notion of learning loss. Unfortunately, in a system that is predicated on creating losers to anoint the winners, a lack of regard for the suffering of children may be necessary to rise the ranks.

Morning meeting

Once again I was not able to support the morning meeting due to internet issues, and Facilitator Lauren needed to focus on supporting older family members suffering through the Texas freeze, so Facilitator Ariel led morning meeting. It was pretty wonderful to see five Learners showing up, to include one who had been without power since the early morning hours of Monday! She told us that her dad was able to hook up the wifi to generator for 15 minutes. Being mindful of the time, Facilitator Ariel dove in, reviewed the Community Awareness Board, updated the calendar (lots of cancelled offerings and check-ins), and then said we’d use pass the ball to respond to the prompts.

First we shared what was one thing we each could do with our family to share joy, today: cuddle with puppy, check in on chosen family, watch movie, hang out, share Nintendo Switch with brother, watch a movie and spend time with my mom, read stories by the fire place. Next we let each other know how we were doing, if we had power, and if we felt safe. Everyone was feeling pretty good, although one Learner said they had no power and her feet were cold.

Being unable to connect due to a lack of internet, I had lots of time to read and think. I was able to get news on my phone and the news was not particularly nourishing. For example, I found out that Richard Elmore died. When I was at Harvard I was able to meet with him and discuss an idea I had to help millions of young people escape conventional schooling. Elmore was an exception in the world of higher ed in that he ultimately recognized that the problem with education was not barriers to fixing schooling, but that schooling was part of the problem. In the attached video he said, “I do not believe in the institutional structure of public schooling, anymore. I view the work I continue to do with schools, and i take it seriously, as palliative care for a dying institution.” And that resonates with me. I do not spend my time attacking teachers as too many in the alternative education world do. Many teachers and others who support schools are not trying to fix the schools or make them more efficient, they are merely trying to minimize the pain on students.

I also got to thinking about how the horrible situation playing out in Texas may have a silver lining. On the tail end of this, Covid-19 infections will have hopefully dropped off substantially because so many people will have finally chosen to stay at home, or more likely they will have been forced to. Instead of going out and catching and spreading the disease, a large proportion of the population will have effectively quarantined for ten days, allowing the disease to die off in many people. And considering that any single person who gets infected can seed a future superspreader event or even host the next mutation of the virus, the tragedy that is this deep freeze may end up saving more lives in the long run.

Facilitator Lauren, meanwhile, spent much of the day trying to connect with Abrome families. She found out that one Learner’s garage was flooded in addition to frequent power outages, while another family was concerned about the welfare of family members. One family was without power but were able to stay warm and had food, while another family was running low on water. While a couple of families were struggling, everyone was safe, and that should certainly be considered a blessing given what so many others were dealing with.

Facilitator Ariel spent his day engaged in mutual aid

While it would be foolish for most people to be on the road, Facilitator Ariel’s vehicle has four-wheel drive, and he responded to a call from Austin Mutual Aid to help deliver much needed supplies to people in need. While most people were locked down in their home or just trying to get by, Facilitator Ariel was very carefully navigating the roads of Austin to help those most in need. Thank you, Facilitator Ariel!

By the time the afternoon roundup came around I had internet and was able to host the afternoon roundup. Facilitator Lauren’s power was back up so she was able to join, while Facilitator Ariel was still delivering supplies with Austin Mutual Aid. Wonderfully, five Learners showed up, as well. Remarkably, the two Learners who had been without power since Monday morning showed up, while most of the Learners who were not out of power did not. I do not know what to make of that … perhaps those who were having the worst of the current situation had the most desire to find a sense of normalcy in the day?

Afternoon roundup

I started the meeting, reviewed the Community Awareness Board practices, opened up the meeting to announcements, and then for a belated grounding practice I had everyone count off from one to seven, with each person only being able to take one number. If anyone repeated a number, or if two people spoke at once, we would start over. We got through it fairly quickly, and then I used the numbers people claimed to determine the order in which we would respond to the prompts.

For the first prompt we each identified one challenging thing in our life right now: being disconnected and apart from others, coronavirus, being worried about other people and how they’re doing while being unable to help, growing up in general, this weather and coronavirus, Covid-19 and the weather, not having power right now.

For the second prompt we each identified one good thing in our life right now: knowing that people are in the streets helping others through mutual aid, being able to sled (for the first time in my life), power is now stable which means having wifi and being able to connect with others, my boyfriend and being in a good stable place in life, the snow is very beautiful, I have my dogs, I have heat (temporarily).

We then adjourned the meeting and said we would stick around for anyone who wanted to chat. At that time another Learner logged in, having missed the meeting but being able to connect. Most Learners dropped off but a couple stuck around and chatted. We asked the Learner who had been without power since 1:00 a.m. on Monday, and was still without power, how she was doing and talking about the various hacks they were using to stay warm. Facilitator Lauren also filled us in on the good news about the family members she was concerned about—they now had food and firewood thanks to a neighbor.

While we anticipated more bad news to break that night and the next morning, we felt good in that moment that we were able to hold space for Learners, to connect with the Learners and their families, and that everyone in the community was safe. And even though we live in a failed state, we had deep appreciation for all of the people who self-organized to go into the worst of conditions to try to save lives.

Day 90 of AY20-21: holding space during disaster

Day 90 of the pandacademic year would be the most concerning for Abrome. I woke up that morning understanding that the dangerously cold temperatures the night before, in addition to blackouts effecting much of Austin (and Texas), as well as the ice covered roads would put many people’s lives at risk, and may make getting people the support they need out of reach. The houses in Austin are not made for cold like this, and many people who live in Austin do not have practice managing this type of weather. Especially when their power goes out and their houses drop into the 40s, or 30s. Meeting in person would not be an option.

Remarkably, I had power and internet, so I was able to participate in the morning meeting. In addition to the three Facilitators who showed up, six Learners showed. A pretty great turnout given what was happening in the city. I quickly touched upon the agenda for the meeting, and then reviewed the Community Awareness Board. If there was ever a time for us to be present for one another this was it, so I highlighted our practices around being present, to include minimizing apps and putting down our phones during the meetings. One of the Learners was clearly looking at her phone during the meeting so I went over the practice again and she put it down. Next I opened up the meeting for announcements, and a Learner shared his desire to add a Roblox offering, so I opened up the calendar and we added it. That Learner was particular eager to talk that morning so I practiced patience and we were able to meet his needs while also meeting the needs of the group.

I mentioned that there were some people not on the call because they had no power or internet. I added that there were a lot of people suffering in Texas right now, to include some of our friends and family, and the thousands of houseless people, and I acknowledged that most of us were stuck at home and unable to help them. So I asked everyone, when we are stuck at home, how can we support those who are far away? The answers ranged from the serious to the not-so-serious: invite friends to house if they are out of power; letting them take their firewood; donating money to mutual aid groups; checking in on them, offering hacks, and conserving electricity; dragging cars out of ditches; checking up on friends and family by calling them or going to their house; sending a text or call to people you care about and just show them support; IDK; send them a message to make sure everyone is breathing correctly. I’m not certain if the less serious responses were an effort to manage with the heaviness of the situation, or if the scale of the situation was not apparent to the Learners. Nonetheless, we shared some nice suggestions.

High fives

After the morning meeting I had two one-to-one check-ins with adolescent Learners. Between both, we discussed boyfriend issues, family members getting vaccines, and plans to participate in workout offerings when we come back together again in-person. Then, because I had internet, I hosted the 7-minute workout (which we missed out on on Monday because of internet issues). It was a great way to get moving and enjoy each other’s company. At the end we gave each other virtual high fives and moved on with our day.

Coffee and read

Facilitator Ariel stuck around in the Zoom room because he was hosting the coffee and read offering for the next hour. I always try to stick around for that, and with all the worries I was having I was particularly inclined to just let go and read for an hour on this day. In the coffee and read we typically drink coffee or tea, and read. There’s not much interaction until the very end when we discuss our books. Facilitator Ariel continues to work his way through Anarcho-Blackness by Marquis Bey for the collective he is a member of, and I continued to read Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields for my Thursday book group.

Facilitator Lauren was having power and internet challenges on Tuesday but was able to have some one-to-one check-ins with the same Learners I had check-ins with earlier in the day. Unfortunately, after the check-ins her power died, again, which meant her internet and heat were lost, as well. Unable to connect, she needed to cancel her yoga offering. In addition to Facilitator Lauren losing power, one Learner had her power being shut down periodically, while two other Learners were in a sustained state of powerlessness. By that evening both of their households would still be without power with temperatures dropping. Fortunately, their families were mindful about keeping everyone warm despite very low temperatures within their homes.

My lucky run with internet was coming to an end. Fortunately I was hosting my free write offering on Discord and not on Zoom. I was unable to host it the day before so I was pretty hopeful that someone would be able to join me on Tuesday. One older Learner did, and I told her that I would work on a blog post, but that I was really struggling with it because of internet issues. I asked what she was going to work on and she said she did not know. So we talked about options such as journaling or stream of consciousness. She decided to journal, I set the timer, and we each wrote for about 40 minutes. At the end of the session I checked in and we both made progress, though not as much as we would have liked. But considering what was going on in Texas, we were okay with that.

Facilitator Ariel hosted the afternoon roundup. By that time my internet was shot again, and I was using my phone to try to follow what was going on in the Zoom room. I did not hear much. The prompt Facilitator Ariel used was, did you witness or participate in any acts of kindness today? The responses once again ranged from the serious to the not-so-serious: being in conversations with people organizing to save the lives of the houseless; my roommate shoveled snow out of the driveway and then chose to shovel the street; I connected some family and friends so that they could give and receive something that they each needed; loved on dogs; no, played in snow with my family a bit; no; no, just been doing my own stuff; not roasting my friends.

After the meeting the Facilitators talked about how we were doing with regard to holding space for and supporting Learners and their families. We also decided to follow up with the families that we knew were without power, share tips on staying warm when the power is out with the community, and formally cancelling in-person meet ups for the rest of the week. It was a long and emotional day.

While it was a rough day for some of the Abrome Learners, and for millions of Texans, we did take time to appreciate the joy that some experienced thanks to the snow.

Joyful

Enjoying the snow

Facilitator Lauren’s snow dog

Another snow dog with Facilitator Ariel