Days 126 & 127 of AY20-21: let's check in on the other cell

The 22nd and 23rd of April were days 126 and 127 of the pandacademic year. On the 22nd I was away from the in-person Abrome meetup as I was focused on administrative work, and on the 23rd I had planned to be in-person but we were forced to go remote due to thunderstorms. I will continue to combine days for my ‘daily’ updates when I am away from my cell, or when inclement weather hits (and this is thunderstorm season). In this case, both of the days fit that bill.

My day away from the cell was a good one. I caught up on a lot of overdue administrative issues, connected with the guardian of a recently enrolled Learner, and spoke to some families who are looking into a possible Abrome enrollment for their children.

In my absence, at my cell, there was lots of laughter shared between Facilitator Lauren and two of the adolescent Learners. They chose to lay down on the dock as if they were going to sleep while eagerly engaging in conversation with all. In their disagreements with another adolescent over what peppermints really are, they talked about the possibility of playing tag games the next day.

Facilitator Lauren also spent a lot of time with a younger Learner. They walked around various parts of the park looking at plants. They ate some ripe mulberries and some intense wild onions, and had a cockel burr battle. They also found another bouquet of flowers thrown in the bushes. I guess someone had a photo shoot in nature because it is so beautiful out here, and then they just toss what they don’t want onto the ground. At least flowers will fairly quickly decompose. Facilitator Lauren also played some racing games with the youngest Learner, going slow, forward, and backward.

At the other cell, Facilitator Ariel and the other Learners were confronted with a large vulture at the entrance to the greenbelt where they tried to enter. The vulture was menacing, for sure, but the group did not know if it would be unwise or unsafe to try to skirt around it. Fortunately they had computers in their pockets so they pulled them out and did some quick searches. Turns out that vultures are completely harmless and will happily step aside if you try to pass them. In this instance, it actually run down the trail away from the group as they tried to enter the greenbelt.

In the park, an adolescent Learner chose to take the other Learners back to the waterfall that he and Facilitator Ariel stumbled upon the day before. After admiring the tiny waterfall, they continued to explore this region of the greenbelt. During the exploration they found a cliff with some wonderful views. They stopped to admire the view, and one of the Learners chose to test her nerves by finding a large rock to perch upon overlooking the valley.

It was a cold day, and everyone but one showed up better prepared for the weather. Recognizing the ways in which they were not prepared for the day, they decided that it was the right time to build a shelter. After the crew navigated back down to the riverbed, the Learner began collecting logs and branches to construct the shelter, and soon the other Learners joined in. It turned into more a work of art than a shelter, but the weather had improved so the utility of the shelter was no longer a priority. They all looked upon their work and were satisfied. Before they parted ways at the end of the day, they found a bouquet of flowers. What are the chances that two different cells ten miles apart would both find a bouquet of flowers?

Every day by 7:00 a.m. we make our call on whether it will be a late drop-off, early pick-up, or a cancelled in-person day due to inclement weather. On this day, with thunderstorms scheduled for each our of our 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. day, it was an easy call to go remote.

Remote days continue to not be great, especially on unplanned inclement weather remote days. We only had four Learners show up for the morning meeting and the Check-in and Change-up, but that was enough for a quorum. We don’t have a formal quorum number but any fewer Learners would have meant kicking the Check-in and Change-up to the following Monday.

One of the Learners showed up late while Facilitator Lauren was facilitating the morning meeting, and another Learner typed the prompts into the chat. It was a practice we had months ago, but it was fabulous to see Learners continuing to honor those practices. It’s how we co-create culture. The Check-in and Change-up was a long one. The longest one we’ve had in months. But it was a really good one, with four awarenesses being added to our blank Community Awareness Board (since it was our first Friday of the cycle). One of the newer Learners in the community who had proposed an awareness sent me a private message in the chat asking if he could leave after we came up with practices for his awareness. I asked him to stick it out because it would not feel good to me for him to leave without supporting everyone else they way they supported him. He chose to stick it out, which continues to demonstrate some pretty big leaps and bounds he has been making in terms of his willingness to consider how his actions might impact others. We came up with some really good practices to work with this cycle, and I felt really great about the meeting. No one showed up to the offerings, and only three Learners dropped in on the afternoon roundup, but that’s the way it goes with remote days.

Day 120 of AY20-21: learning how to welcome people in

Friday, April 9th was the last in-person day of cycle 8, meaning it was the last day of our social justice oriented Flying Squad, and it was day 120 of the pandacademic year.

As the Learners came into the space before the morning meeting, I noticed four of the Learners all turned in toward each other, with one of the shadowers about 20 feet away just watching them. Over the prior few days of the week I had pointed out different ways in which they seemed to be excluding shadowers, or at best, not being welcoming to them. One of the things about Abrome is that many Learners come here to escape schooling. Abrome serves as a way to reclaim a sense of belonging, a sense that they matter after being in a system that saw them only as test scores or tuition payments. Abrome is a place where they are free from the competition and ranking and hierarchies that spur so much of the anti-social and toxic behaviors of schooling. But when they find a home where they finally feel safe, sometimes they get so invested in their relationships with others that they do not do a great job of welcoming others. And sometimes, they are so damaged from schooling that they hold onto comfortable relationships and are slow to welcome in others.

Which is a shame, because we are too small right now from a sustainability perspective, and our limited size limits the magic of what Emancipated Learning can be. Each new person brings in their own unique mix of interests, experiences, and ways of being. In a Self-Directed Education environment, where the learning happens as much from one another as it does from any formal medium, the benefits of additional Learners accrue not linearly, but exponentially. Additionally, social proof is extremely important for growing the community, as parents and guardians want to know that other families have trusted their children to be free, and prospective Learners want to know that other Learners like them have chosen to come to Abrome. In fact, we are suffering from a shortage of girls and young women at Abrome in part because when they’ve looked at Abrome they did not see enough people who looked like them.

Although I had planned to address my disappointment at the ways in which we were not being super welcoming to the shadowers in the morning meeting, I could not hold off when I saw the Learners turned in toward each other that morning. I walked up to them and said, “y’all are being a bunch of assholes.” Then I said, “no, you’re acting like a bunch of assholes.” I told them that while no one is forced to like or spend time with others at Abrome, that their discomfort at welcoming in new people is not nearly as uncomfortable as being the new person in the group, and they should know that considering all of them had previously been welcomed into Abrome. I said, that they had the right to ignore people, but “that’s a shitty way to live life.”

It was the second time that week that I had given some pretty raw feedback. They then awkwardly oriented their bodies toward the shadower to make him feel more welcome. Shortly thereafter I checked in with the mom of the other shadower, and she told me that her daughter felt so alone the day prior that she couldn’t get out of the car. The prospective Learner was not up for trying again that day, especially after the years of bad experiences she had at a variety of public and private schools. I was devastated. A lack of awareness or intention by our group to make the prospective Learner feel welcome resulted in her passing up what would have most likely been the best possible environment for her to finish out her adolescent years.

We then went into the morning meeting. The Learners could tell that I was upset, but they probably thought it was over what I said to them that morning. But what I was most upset by was that the Learners do care, but they have not yet been able to couple that concern with intention and action.

After the morning meeting we moved into the Check-in and Change-up. We ended up taking two awareness off the Community Awareness Board because we felt good about them becoming norms within our community, and four new awarenesses were proposed. We only had room for two so the two that we decided not to focus on that morning were: (1) we grow as people when we think about the feedback we get from others, and we grow more when we commit to change; and (2) it does not feel good when Learners treat Facilitators like parents or teachers and defer their thinking and decision making to them.

The first new awareness we added was proposed by Facilitator Ariel: the days are less frustrating when people are actively engaged in meetings. He began the discussion by saying that the prompts we come up with are purposeful but that the answers are quickly forgotten. We also acknowledged that simply repeating what someone else said did not typically indicate that one was really thinking about the prompt. We eventually agreed to three new practices for the awareness. The first was that if people were not engaged we would say “let’s focus” and then we would all recenter. The second was that we would look at person speaking, although if anyone felt uncomfortable looking others in the face they could simply look in their direction. The third practice was that we were not going to repeat what someone else said without an explanation.

The second new awareness we added was proposed by two of the adolescent Learners, and clearly sprang from my earlier words to them: some people aren’t making others feel welcome. This led to a longer conversation about the ways in which we welcome others is not only valuable because of how each Learner benefits, or how the community benefits, but because of the impact it has on the shadower. It’s about being decent human beings. We come up with three practices to try to address the awareness. First, each morning there would be a Learners only planning meeting for the day, that would necessitate bringing in everyone to engage with one another. The second was that we would invite people in. And the third was to use more welcoming body language.

It was a long meeting, and the Learners were eager to move on with the day after some pretty challenging and uncomfortable conversation. We did not get very far before the youngest broke down. His parents were allotting him a certain amount of money to spend on food each day, and that became his primary focus. We had agreed that we would stop at the corner store on the way back to the pickup spot at the end of the day to get food, but he wanted to get the food right then and there. Facilitator Ariel went to chat with him and one of the adolescent Learners said that he would take lead to talk to him, and he soon got the young Learner back on track.

Part of the plan they all came up with that morning was to stop at Fresa’s for drinks and food. I had never been there before so I did not know what a big deal it was. Facilitator Ariel and I were continuing to step back as much as possible to make space for the Learners to take charge. One of the Learners came up to me and bragged about getting his drink for free. I asked how, and he said that when he went to pay he was actually a few cents short. The lady at the window told him not to worry about it and let him have it for free. I remarked how incredibly generous she was and asked if he left a tip. He said that he did not. I said there was a tip jar at the window, and that if he got the drink for free it seemed to me that it would be quite appropriate to use some of the money he had for a tip. He asked how much, and I said I’d probably leave a dollar. He looked at the money in his hand, and drifted off. I watched him as he uncomfortably debated putting money in the jar or just joining the other Learners. He chose not to put the money in the jar.

As we were walking away I asked him why he chose not to tip. He said that he wanted to keep the money so he could spend it on something else. I asked him if he thought that was what was fair. He then told me that my questions were making him feel guilty. I asked him why he felt guilty, but he did not reply. I then asked him if he knew how the people who work at restaurants typically get paid. He said the company pays them. I said not always, that many service workers are paid below minimum wage with the belief that tips will more than make up for the low pay. And that by not leaving a tip, he took up her time without compensating her for it. I then pointed out that minimum wage in Texas is $7.25, but that servers often get paid barely over $2.00 an hour. I asked if he was willing to work full days for $7.25 an hour, or $2.13 an hour plus tips, and he said he would not. I suggested that he consider how fortunate he is, and to remember that the next time he has a chance to tip a worker.

The social justice focus for the day was to exist as young people in public, making adults uncomfortable about it along the way. They planned to hang out at the upper level of Whole Foods for this mission, but it was pretty clear to me that the real learning that day would be talking about being inclusive, and discussing minimum wage and tips.

I was pleased to see that so many Learners were drinking water that day. It was a warmer day and I encouraged them to drink early and often, and they were. By the time we got to Whole Foods the Learners were ready to spend some of their money. All of the adolescent Learners and the lone shadower went into the store. It seemed to be a big deal for the newest of the Learners to be trusted to go off by himself. The learning curve he is experiencing in terms of learning who he is, what his responsibilities are to others, and what it means to be free is pretty remarkable.

The youngest Learner asked to go into the grocery store with me (his money was sent to me via Venmo so he needed me to buy his food). I reminded him that the agreement we made was to get something at the corner store on the way back. He said he did not want candy, but that he wanted a fruit or vegetable. He totally tricked me, because I said okay. Once we got into the store he changed his mind and decided that he wanted to buy some sort of snack. We settled on a healthy snack with the understanding that we would not stop at the corner store on the way back, and that he would wait until we got back to eat it so that we made it in time. He said okay, and although he asked me numerous times to eat it early, he stuck to that latest agreement. Although the Learner had really struggled that cycle by ruminating on food and letting it take over large chunks of his days, he had come a long way in regulating himself.

The Learners ended up playing tag and associated games on the roof of Whole Foods, as well as just sitting around and chatting with each other. Two of the Learners and Facilitator Ariel made plans to play Call of Duty during our off week. And during the discussion I was told that two of the Learners had plans to get the Covid-19 vaccine that weekend! We ended the day/week strong with a review of practices, reflections on what each of us learned regarding social justice that week, and what we feel we need to do to become better human beings toward others. Then we finished off our week with gratitudes. What a challenging but tremendously powerful week of learning how to be supportive to others it was for each of us, and for our community.

The other cell finished off there week in a much more relaxed manner:

Day 110 of AY20-21: stumbling into learning

March 28th was Day 110 of the pandacademic year, and it was the final day of our first week of cycle 8. We had a good week up to that point, although Learners being out due to quarantines and the fixation on seeking out destinations that we could spend money on food instead of engaging in social justice oriented activities was frustrating. But those struggles were outweighed by the positives of being together in the city again, with plenty of sun and good weather, lots of walking, and a some really great conversations.

The day was supposed to be a biking day for some, but the Learners who were going to bring bikes forgot to bring them, so Facilitator Ariel threw his bike in Antonio’s vehicle and we went into the morning meeting. A Learner and Facilitator Ariel both threw out prompts for the morning meeting. For the first prompt we each described a fruit without saying what its name was, while the rest of us tried to guess what it was. The fruits were green apple, grape, banana, tomato, and honeydew. What was really great about that prompt/game was that each of us successfully guessed one of the fruits.

Because it was Friday we went into our Check-in and Change-up meetings after the morning meeting. Three folks raised a total of six awarenesses in the Check-in, and during the Change-up we selected five that we wanted to focus on for the coming week. We keep the number of awarenesses that we put on the Community Awareness Board limited to five so that we can keep each one top of mind as we work toward shifting our culture, because if we had too many awarenesses we would become overwhelmed. The awarenesses included people ruminating on food/treats; dehydration; mindfulness about ourselves, nature, and the environment; taking into account the needs of others; and making assumptions about what others know. For each of the five awarenesses we came up with two or three practices that we would try out for a week to see if we could address the awarenesses we raised.

After the morning meeting we set off. We agreed to hit some food places on our way to the little green spot next to a pond that we found the day prior. I agreed to stop at a food truck so a younger Learner could get some Thai ice cream while the rest of the crew went to a corner store (coffee) and a fast food place (milkshake). When I got to the food truck with the younger Learner we found that it was closed, and according to the sign they would be closed for an hour. The Learner took it in stride and asked to go to a food truck that sold gelato, but we found that closed, as well. The Learner really wanted ice cream so I looked for nearby places that sold ice cream and we finally found one on South Lamar, but it was a 15 minute walk and uphill. He said that he wanted to do that, so I checked in with the others and asked them if it was okay to meet them at the park after we went to the ice cream shop. They said that would be fine, and we trekked to the shop.

When we arrived at the shop we took our time going through the options and debating how many scoops and toppings would feel good. As he was deciding I was surprised to see the rest of the crew come on scene. They set up in a sally port next to the shop, and began to eat lunch or snacks. When the ice cream was delivered I broke out my lunch to eat. Then we all began talking about a wide variety of topics, and we made time to take a bunch of pictures in front of the two murals painted on each side of the sally port.

Once the pictures were taken and everyone’s stomachs were filled we decided to make our way to our destination, but in looking at the map we thought we would see if we could find our way across a small stream and train tracks into the greenbelt so that we could avoid the sound and exhaust of cars during our walk. We were thrilled that no fences were in our way as we carefully walked across the place where the water flows and then across the place where the trains roll. We checked to make sure that no trains were coming and took a quick shot of the crew on the tracks. It could have been an album cover it was so good.

After crossing over the tracks we made our way down into the greenbelt where we followed a variety of trails that led us to West Bouldin Creek. Along our walk we saw a tree that had split and fallen but got caught up by branches to form perpendicular angles. The most amazing thing about the tree was that it was still alive, and the branches of the tree were budding. We guessed that it was a quite recent break, and most likely happened during the deep freeze that Austin experienced in mid-February. The weight of the ice that coated the trees brought down many trees in the area. It was a beautiful area that we walked through, and it would be worth coming back to in the future.

Also in the greenbelt we stumbled upon some tents. One of the Learners wanted to walk toward the tents to see what was happening, but Facilitator Ariel talked to the Learners about the importance of not making a lot of noise and steering clear of the tents for purposes of privacy for the people who were living there. That led to a discussion of public and private spaces, and the different expectations we might hold for others relative to ourselves. When Facilitator Ariel asked if the Learner would feel comfortable if someone was walking through their home looking in their rooms or making a lot of noise the Learner conceded that he would not feel comfortable.

When we finally got to the park we settled in, content in being full and having had had a nice walk through a beautiful green space hidden within the city. Some of the Learners spent time down by the water playing on the edge, watching the turtles scurry away, and watching the ducks float by. One of the Learners took off his shoes and walked in far enough for the water to go halfway up his shins. When he came back out of the water to hang with the rest of the crew we noticed something attached to his leg. It was a leech! Super cool for all, gross for some.

There was some time on the hammock, three of us broke out books to read (two Facilitators and a Learner), and a Learner and I threw the football around. Sadly, due to a lack of communication and poor setup the ball ended up in the lake, and slowly drifted away. In many places along the water there was growth that was deep enough and thick enough to prevent the ball from coming to shore while also preventing us from being able to go in and get it. We thought it was a lost cause.

I then followed a Learner back to the top of a hill that was created to provide a beautiful view of the area. Yesterday we found a large stone map of Texas on there, with a collection of cities or towns and their distance from Austin. On this day, I looked up the population of each of the towns, and then pointed out which larger cities and towns were omitted from the map. While we were up there we watched as a Learner worked the football out of the lake so that we could play with it some more in the future. It was an excellent recovery that allowed us to leave the first week of cycle eight on a high note.

At the other cell there was also a Check-in and Change-up, discussions about what to do when we come into contact with people who do not honor our boundaries, some walking, soccer playing, drone flying, and head-banging to metal music. Also ducks.

Day 96 of AY20-21: managing manageable weather again

I woke up on Monday morning raring to go with cycle seven of the pandacademic year. Most of the Learners had been remote since December 22nd due to the local pandemic conditions and the Texas freeze. I had been remote since November 20th as December I was dedicated to the remote cell in December. I spent too much time packing that morning since I did not properly pack the night before. The weather forecast looked good—it was supposed to be chilly but not terribly cold, and there was expected to be some really light rain but nothing much of significance.

After packing I checked some updates and was drawn to an article saying that 28% of polled Texans said they were not going to get vaccinated as soon as a vaccine was available to them. This was tremendously disappointing, as getting as many people vaccinated as soon as possible will bring the pandemic more quickly under control, thereby saving lives. Maybe more than 100,000 lives in the United States alone. Additionally, it would allow us all to be able to more quickly be together in ways that most of us miss.

Professional development day

Next I quickly wrote up a blog post about day 95, the last day of cycle six nearly a week earlier. I would love to get these blog posts out sooner but I always seem to have a drift of a couple to a few days by the end of each cycle. But here in cycle seven I am already three days behind writing about Monday on Thursday. I do not write a separate blog post about our professional development days, but we did have one on Wednesday, the day after day 95. We met up in a park in east Austin and talked about how we could support Learners and our plans for the remainder of the year. We came up with some good plans for specialty cells starting in April: a Flying Squad focused on social justice, a camping and survival cell, a biking cell, and then another Flying Squad cell to end the year.

While the weather forecast had looked pretty good on all the weather apps I checked that morning, it was pouring down rain when I drove to the drop-off location for the Learners, and it kept raining. In fact, it got heavier. The forecasted precipitation for any given hour at Abrome at that location was expected to be no more than 0.02 inches, so I was pretty surprised. But we had repeatedly emphasized the importance of dressing for the worst possible conditions over the last several months, and cautioned everyone in the community to be prepared for cold, wet conditions on this day. As Learners rolled into the drop-off location I decided to pass on having them write out their intentions on post-it notes because it was such a wet mess. As they trickled in there was obviously a lot of excitement to be around other Learners again. However, one Learner realized getting out of the vehicle that she did not have footwear that matched the cold, rainy, and wet conditions. So she decided to go back home.

During the morning meeting we discussed a variety of topics, to include a review of how to take care of ourselves and each other during inclement weather. I took notice that one Learner was in shorts, there were few hats or gloves among the crew, and there was not much in the way of rain jackets or ponchos. It caused me a bit of concern and I decided that after the morning meeting I should probably go back to Abrome and grab some wool blankets that I neglected to put in my rushed packing that morning.

Because I went back to get the wool blanket I jumped on my computer to do a quick morning meeting with the remote Learners (four of them are remote during this cycle, and we hope that number drops to zero for the next cycle), and then I headed back to Abrome. As I was coming back Facilitator Ariel called me and said that one of the Learners was particularly cold so he went back to his vehicle and grabbed an extra jacket and hat for him to wear, but that he may need one of the wool blankets I was grabbing. I said I would bring it to their location. As I walked toward the location I pulled out my phone and recorded a short video to let the world know via Instagram that we were back in-person for cycle seven. I think I will do an update each day from here on out. By this time the rain had stopped coming down so heavily, but that didn’t mean that the trails weren’t muddy messes in some parts, and as I filmed I stepped in a particularly slippy patch and I bit it pretty hard. Fortunately I made a nice recovery, kept filming, and got to the cold Learner in short time.

Bird watching

Two of the Learners in the cell were new Learners, having joined just in time for us to go fully remote in January. Although they had shadowed for five days each in December, they were each feeling their way with the crew. At one point Facilitator Ariel invited each of them to go on a walk with him to help ease the transition. Both joined him, but one eventually turned back while Facilitator Ariel and the other Learner made their way to a bird watching station that few folks at Abrome have been to. Apparently there was some discussion about the conspiracy theory that birds are actually government robots.

The Learners in the other cell with Facilitator Lauren all knew each other from prior cells and came to their separate drop-off spot super eager to hang out again and play. Even better, they all showed well dressed and fully prepared for inclement weather. And although they were less than ten miles away from our cell as the crow flies, they did not receive a single drop of rain. It was probably for the best, as the Learners most in need of the more memorable real-life lesson on the need to dress for the conditions were the ones who did not dress for the occasion. After reviewing their agreements they headed out on a variety of adventures, with a goal of revisiting many of the places they hadn’t seen since December. Along the way they found lots of interesting remnants from the Texas freeze as well as things that are just found when we leave the city behind.

Back at the cell I was with I asked the Learners if they were willing to go on a hike to the waterfalls since the rain that morning would provide a different experience for us than than usual. Plus, it was still pretty cold for some folks and the hike uphill would do all of us some good. Everyone but one Learner (the one in the shorts) decided to make the hike. I encouraged him to use the wool blanket to keep himself warm while we were gone, and he said he would consider it.

The hike was pretty great. We took the easiest path to the waterfalls, but discussed taking some harder trails on warmer, less muddy days. At each successive waterfall some of us took time to take in the surroundings and explore the area. But it wasn’t until we got to the third waterfall that everyone decided they wanted to settle in. There we walked around, explored, and then sat down and engaged in a variety of conversations while also reserving time for ourselves. We were there for maybe 30 or 45 minutes and then decided to walk back downhill for lunch.

Appreciating being outdoors again

After lunch one of the Learners was ready to get going with her 45-minute workout, a spillover offering from the last remote cycle. I wondered to what degree people would want to join in on a 45-minute workout in the elements. But one of the Learners said that he would participate in the workouts (three per week) and I decided I would join in as well. It was a good workout, but it was challenging with the wooden dock that we were working out on still wet from the rain.

Later in the day Facilitator Ariel asked the Learners about their interest in participating in a Flying Squad day next week, as a way to give them an idea of what it might be to be in a full-time Flying Squad cell next cycle. There was great response and most Learners were quite excited. Only two of the Learners in this cell were at Abrome pre-pandemic so the newer Learners heard stories about what it was like, and now they’re going to have a chance to actually see it in action.

At the other cell, one of the young Learners began processing kindling while Facilitator Lauren broke out a solo stove to start a fire. The fire is not only a nice way to warm up, but it also provides fuel for conversation and new ideas. While they were feeding the fire and sharing thoughts one of the Learners decided that he was going to use it to cook up some of the jerky he brought.

The Learners in the cell I was in were warming up slowly, as well, without a fire. As the day wore on, the temperature rose, their clothes dried out, and they started to have thoughts of jumping into the lake. Even though I’ve jumped into the lake at least once per month as part of a polar bear plunge promise I made to a Learner at the beginning of this pandacademic year, I would not have considered jumping in on this day. The miserable cold feeling of the morning was too fresh, the temperature was too low, and the sun was too gone. But they insisted. And they both went in.

I requested that they hold off jumping in until the very end of the day, so that if they regretted their decision at least they were not too far off from getting home, changing out of their wet clothes, and heating up indoors. Then we held our first afternoon roundup in months, and reflected on our first day back together. It was a great day. We were thrilled to be together again. The weather was not perfect but that’s okay. On the walk back to the pick-up point we saw thousands upon thousands of ants diligently moving leaf clippings from harvest points back to their nests. We stopped to appreciate this unique sight, and then we moved on and called it a day.

Day 95 of AY20-21: the last day of our last remote cycle (hopefully)

Tuesday, February 23rd, was the last day of cycle six and the final day of two straight months of being forced to be remote. Austin Public Health had lowered the risk stage level meaning we could be together in-person again after the coming break, and with the numbers of infections and hospitalizations quickly dropping in Central Texas it seemed possible that they could even move it to stage three within a week. The idea that the pandemic’s end is on the horizon (although still months away) and that we will likely be able to meet in-person for the rest of the year left me filled with hope and joy.

Statement of the obvious from the vanguard media

Unfortunately, not everyone is on board with doing what is necessary to more quickly bring the pandemic to an end. Since the earliest days of the pandemic there were people denying that it was anything to concern ourselves with, and many of those people twisted and contorted their position to meet the latest covid-skeptic take as the year progressed. At first it was no more than a couple people would die, then a couple hundred, then maybe two thousand, but not more than 5,000, and definitely not 10,000. Well here we are, at 500,000, and CNN puts out a story that says the US death toll did not have to be this high. What a statement of the obvious.

Yes, if people would have prioritized solidarity with those who would be most impacted by the disease and caring about the people in their own communities (in many cases in their own families) by staying home over their “freedom” to not wear a mask or their “right” to go to a restaurant and bar then we could have certainly kept the death toll at least under six digits (each one of those digits still being a human life lost). But for some reason the allure of fantastic conspiracy theories “Trump”ed the ethical call to modify behavior to save a half million lives (with at least another 100,000 deaths surely on the way).

We went outdoors this year, in small groups, for periods of no more than three weeks at a time so that we could do our best to drastically decrease exposure and the potential spread of the disease within our community, which would most likely then leak out into the broader community if someone did get infected at Abrome. And then when the spread was out of control during stage level five we did the bare minimum that every school and “non-essential” workplace should have done, we stayed home. We went remote. We were remote for two months (the last half of a month due to the Texas freeze). I also shouted what we were doing from the rooftops to show schools that they could do the same. That together, even if we did not agree on a philosophy of education, that we could put society first in time of pandemic. I invited other schools to (virtually) plan with us on how to be outdoors, and I shared our process, and our successes and failures. I blogged about our process and I have included a recap of every day “with” the Learners during this pandacademic year. I published our contingency planning document and encouraged other communities to copy and modify it in the ways that would work for their communities. And I also shared lots of thoughts on social media and on this blog post about the evolving conditions of the pandemic and how it should shape our actions, and how educational communities should be shaping the response to the pandemic. I’ve even admitted when I was wrong, such as I did on Tuesday when I edited a portion of a blog post talking about how effective the vaccines were. (They are way more effective than I suggested. And the argument still holds--keep schools closed until we hit herd immunity.)

We are going to continue to do what is necessary to support the Learners and the Abrome community without putting the broader Central Texas community at risk. We will probably be outdoors for the rest of this academic year, at least.

Morning meeting

Okay, now to the actual Abrome day. It was my turn to facilitate so I opened the meeting with a rundown of the agenda, reviewed each awareness and practice on the Community Awareness Board, opened up the meeting for announcements, and then launched into the morning prompt.

Each of us shared one disappointing moment, experience, or realization that we had over the past two remote months, and one good moment, experience or realization. I led with the negative so that we could end on the positive, although some chose to lead with the positive.

The disappointments:

• finding out that every conventional school in Central Texas would ignore Austin Public Health guidance to stay remote post-holiday season

• government response to the snow disaster

• looking forward to being back in-person again [when the risk stage dropped down to level four] and then not being able to come back together [deep freeze]

• not being able to be in-person

• everything: snow, stuck inside, no water

• when I got mad at Antonio

• being in a cell I liked because of people and location but not being able to meet [because we were forced to be remote]

• the birds flew away [for context, see the goods below]

• I realized our state was not prepared [for the snowstorm]

• did not build a snowman

• ran out of water

The positives:

• a masked up and socially distanced professional development day for Facilitators in Wimberley, TX, in January

• being able to read [a lot]

• the connections we made through offerings (e.g., yarrow salve, 7-minute workouts, adolescent Learner’s workouts)

• Covid-19 numbers dropping enough to move us back to risk stage level four

• my last check-in with Antonio

• I got to do a lot of art related stuff, and bike rides

• mi madre made tomato soup

• sledding [for the first time in his life]

• saw birds [but they flew away]

• wow, it’s snow!

• “only” had power out for five days

• we got our water back and it’s warm outside

I did point out that a Learner who was without power for five days, whose temperature in her house dropped to at least the low 40s, said her positive was that it was only five days without power and heat. What a way to reframe what would be a negative for most into a positive. I then adjourned the meeting exactly 15 minutes in in accordance with one of the new practices we came up with at our Check-in and Change-up that prior Friday.

A one-to-one check-in

After the morning meeting I had one-to-one check-ins with two adolescent Learners and Facilitator Lauren had a one-to-one check-in with a younger Learner. Given that it was the last day of a long two-month run of remote days we wanted to go out of our way to connect with as many Learners as possible. Later in the day I had a one-to-one check-in with a younger Learner and Facilitator Lauren had two more with adolescent Learners.

High fives after our 7-minute workout

Next up was the daily 7-minute workout which we were fortunate to be able to do each day during this truncated final week of the cycle. There were only three of us present, but it was fun and energizing as always. And we all gave each other a final high five for hopefully quite some time.

Besides the meetings and the check-ins, though, there was very little Learner presence in the virtual Abrome space during the day. In fact, only one Learner showed up to any of the five offerings that were hosted by Facilitators on this last day of the cycle. And no Learners hosted their own offerings. Zoom and Discord fatigue on top of pandemic fatigue seem real. I’m so excited that we are going to be in-person again for cycle seven!

Coffee and read

The other offerings that were planned for the day were Facilitator Lauren’s art and fart, Facilitator Ariel’s coffee and read, and my free write and goofy drawing offerings. The Facilitators made the most of these offerings while holding space for the Learners if they wanted to show. For the coffee and read offering, Facilitator Ariel continued to work through Marquis Bey's Anarcho-Blackness, while I was able to finish up How We Get Free by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, which I started reading over a year ago, and then continue my reading of the underwhelming Never Stop Learning by Bradley Staats.

Art and fart creations

No one showed up for my free write or goofy drawing offerings, but one showed up for art and fart, as did Facilitator Ariel. With no one showing up for my offerings I was able to spend a good chunk of that time writing, and I later heard that Facilitator Ariel also got a lot of writing in on this final day of the cycle.

Afternoon roundup

Our day, week, cycle, and our two cycles of remote ended with the afternoon roundup. Facilitator Lauren hosted the final meeting. She covered the Community Awareness Board one last time, used game shifting to encourage folks to jump in when they wanted to speak, and then asked us what we would do with our five days off to be prepared for the beginning of the next cycle that starts on March 1st. We did not know for certain who would be remote for the next cycle, but we had a general idea. Of the four who were most likely to be in a remote cell they said: set an alarm so I can wake up early enough (a practice we’ve had on the Community Awareness Board at various times this year), set an alarm, not getting arrested (although getting arrested is sometimes out of our hands), breathing correctly (always a good call). Those who would most likely be in-person said: lots of rest, play Minecraft, update medical cards, sleeping the correct amount of hours, practice how to bike and read Coyote's Guide to Connecting with Nature, go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier, dress accordingly.

And that was it. After the meeting the Facilitators reviewed the day, confirmed plans for the professional development day that we had scheduled for the next day, and identified to-dos that needed to get done. We then celebrated making it through this portion of the remote experience and gave each other permission to disconnect.

Day 94 of AY20-21: a planned remote day!

This week started out fabulously on Sunday as the weather broke 70 degrees. Some of Austin was still reeling from the deep freeze and subsequent black outs and burst pipes that came with it, but most of Austin soaked up the sun and moved on. Except for those who were seriously harmed by the cold or who suffered water damage, there was little to recover from as there would be if the disaster was caused by a tornado or flooding. Without visual evidence of the harm suffered all around us I feel that some of the lessons will quickly be lost, particularly the ways in which government entities and NGOs were not there for the people, but how neighbors engaging in mutual aid were. Nonetheless, I was really excited for a week (hopefully) free of disaster.

Unfortunately for the Learners and Facilitators, we were still going to be remote on Monday and Tuesday, our last two days of cycle six. We were remote for all of cycle five (January) because of the latest Covid-19 wave, and for the first week and a half of cycle six. Then we were remote because of inclement weather and the deep freeze for the next week and a half. The reason we are remote for the last two days of the cycle is because they are planned remote days as per our contingency planning document that allow us to have at least nine days between cycles so that Learners can observe for symptoms before coming back together in new cells to limit the potential spread if someone in our community were to become infected. And even though we had not been in-person all cycle (all calendar year), if we came together on Monday and Tuesday it would not allow us to have that necessary separation from one another. I asked Learners and their families to make firm commitments to be in-person or remote by Tuesday so that we could set the cells for the next cycle during our Professional Development Day on Wednesday.

That morning I also read a wonderful article, “Why Did We Ever Send Sick Kids to School?” It discusses the impact of rewards around attendance and the punitive ways that schools have enforced compulsory attendance that directly harm both children and families, but also the ways that it harms everyone in terms of public health. They also pivoted to talking about how this focus on attendance at school also distorts “American culture, which places a high value on productivity, pushing yourself, and “soldiering through” illness in nearly every line of work." It was an excellent article. But there was one glaring error in the article. It said, "schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with academic performance." That is not accurate. Schools place a premium on attendance because it is associated with seat time revenue.

Morning meeting

Back to Abrome. Being remote we came together for our morning meeting at 10:00 a.m., as usual. Facilitator Lauren was facilitating. For game shifting she said that we would go in alphabetical order by first name. While it seemed like a fun way to pass off from one person to the next, it worked out terribly as for whatever reason most Learners were not eager to figure out who they would speak after, leading to very long pauses in the meeting. Because we had a strong turnout for the meeting this really stretched out the length of the meeting leading to it going over the 15-minute target for the facilitator of the meeting.

Facilitator Lauren said, “springtime is not until March 20th, and even then it can still be very cold. After experiencing the Texas freeze, share one or two ways that you will prepare to be comfortable during a cold Abrome day [since we will be meeting outdoors].” Most of the answers were similar: bring warm drinks; buy more leggings, make sure I always have water and food, and an extra pair of socks; no cotton [cotton kills], dress in layers, wear a hat; wear more clothes; just wear warm clothes and bring a blanket; wear gloves; “wear shorts, I always do” [this is not recommended], wear huge black or tan snow / hiking pants; arson [bad joke], bring a jacket; wear a jacket and gloves if really cold; wear a jacket; wear warm clothes; bring a jacket. We were hoping to get a broader diversity of responses, but at least everyone seems to understand that how we dress is just as important as how bad the weather is.

After the morning meeting I had two back-to-back one-to-one check-ins scheduled as the lack of internet the prior week forced me to cancel many of them. I had a nice long conversation for the first check-in with a Learner that has been remote now for four cycles. I talked about us going back in-person and how the next cycle was our only two-week cycle of the year and how much I hoped that he would consider joining us. After that he brought up the issue of body cameras for law enforcement, and then we discussed whether or not it was a net positive or negative for police to have body cameras. He spoke positively about accountability and being able to better understand situations, and I spoke about my personal experience of having police and prosecutors refuse to release footage when it shows police doing harm, and the failure of the police and prosecutors to use those videos to punish or prosecute the police, but how they will eagerly use the video against victims of police brutality. It was a lively discussion but we both made room for the other person to share their viewpoints. Because the other Learner did not show up for his one-to-one I was able to extend out the first check-in for an extra 15 minutes.

At 10:45 a.m. we got back into our daily 7-minute workout routine after only being able to do it twice the prior week. All but one showed up from the usual crew, and we all really felt the workout while at the same time being very grateful for having the opportunity to do it again. We gave each other high fives and then departed.

Next up was Facilitator Ariel’s breakfast chat that only Facilitator Lauren showed up for. They enjoyed being able to spend time chatting with each other and I’m really enjoying seeing their personal friendship flourish at Abrome. I have been part of too many communities (e.g., military, investment banking, activist groups) where there is animosity and dislike between people and that has such a caustic, corrosive effect on the culture of a community. Meanwhile, I was on a call with a Learner at their request. During the call they asked for some clarification on their responsibility to others and articulated some clear boundaries they wanted honored. I was surprised to hear what they had to say, but so grateful for them having the trust in me and the community to be able to share their concerns. I hope that we can continue to build trust so that Learners always feel able to self-advocate and set boundaries.

With a rare window of availability in time, and with the roads free of ice, I was able to make a long overdue trip to the bank in the middle of the day to deposit some tuition checks I had been holding onto since the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Facilitator Lauren hosted her art and fart offering which we really did anticipate being popular among a subset of Learners. It never really took off. But Facilitator Ariel did drop in. Then I had my free write offering which no one showed up for but that I used for some dedicated writing time. We have been hosting these offerings to hold space for Learners during this unfortunate remote period during this pandacademic year, so we get the value of it, but it is still disappointing when Learners do not take up the offerings. But we are a Self-Directed Education community and we value their autonomy and consent, so we do not demand it, either. Meanwhile, we are getting good turnout in morning and afternoon meetings, and most check-ins, so clearly they are valuing connection. But it’s pretty overwhelming from our perspective—we cannot wait to be back in-person again.

Book reading offering

Former Facilitator Jennifer sent me a message two weeks ago encouraging me to read How to Talk to an Autistic Kid by Daniel Stefanski. I did, and then I decided to host an offering where I would read it to anyone who showed up. I originally scheduled it for last week but rescheduled it twice thanks to the freeze. At 2:30 p.m., I read the book to the two Facilitators and one young Learner who showed up for the offering. A couple of times during the reading we stopped to discuss an experience that was shared by Stefanski, an actually autistic kid. We talked about the ways that some of his experiences related to our experiences, and we talked about things we have observed, particularly in schoolish settings in the past.

Facilitator Ariel started the afternoon roundup at 3:30 p.m. with a review of the Community Awareness Board, and then opened up the meeting to announcements. Next he asked everyone to close their eyes and think of a happy memory. Then he asked what color was most prominent, and the associated memory if they wanted to share it. Interestingly, there were a lot of earthy responses.

• browns: running in the mud, climbing trees, and the color of my mom’s arms

• orange/brown: a loved one gifted her a book that she wanted for a long time and it had a hard orange/brown cover with ridged pages

• cardinal red: when I was deployed to Iraq I got my broken admissions binder to Stanford weeks late in a very beat up package, and inside the cardinal red binder was a note from the dean of admissions saying I got accepted to the MBA program, meaning that I had a plan for after the military which I could not leave quickly enough

• blue: the color of the swimming pool I swam in on my 11th birthday

• yellowish color of drywall: the color of the wall from a time I was playing Minecraft with a friend on his mom’s computer in his mom’s room

• blue and green: being outside with family

• green: an animation color

• black and white: because of the colors of the bird Carolina chickadee

• green: frog

• green: I like being in the woods, and the time I went canoeing in an old metal canoe on a green watered lake

After the afternoon roundup all the Learners bolted and the Facilitators recapped and discussed the events of the day in our daily after action review meeting. We also talked about the professional development that we had planned for Wednesday, and agreed on a public park that we could come together to hold it at, masked and distanced, of course. It was a long day and we were ready to log off for the day, so we said goodbye. I then spent my evening taking Cuddle Buddies Ivan and Ingrid on a very long walk, delivering a workbook on decolonizing non-violent communication to a local activist, and reading.

Day 93 of AY20-21: the final day of a long week

I slept in until 6:00 a.m. on Friday because the early morning wake ups are not as helpful when the internet is down. Plus, the added sleep was needed by my body as it tries to process all of the trauma that was all around us in Central Texas during the week.

That morning my phone was able to work fairly well as a hotspot and I had enough internet to read some online articles. I read some education related articles, which is never a super great way to start the day because of how frustrating it is to hear education folks talking about how to manipulate kids into performing for the system, instead of using the system as a vehicle to maximize the quality of life for the child. Oftentimes the focus of these articles is not even on the children, it is on the adults, but with the same end of performance in mind.

One such article talked about the importance of schools reducing stress and burnout on teachers, and not placing the responsibility of well-being on the teachers who are subjected to the structures and practices of schooling. It said, “Instead of “make space to restore your balance” or “find time to exercise more,” schools need to acknowledge their role in the problem and put in place the structures, practices, and time for self-care, reflection, and general well-being among educators, school staff, and the leaders themselves.” And yes, absolutely, who can disagree with that?

They even provided seven ideas for schools to start with:

1. Survey Teachers—And Listen to Them

2. Give Teachers an (Actual) Break

3. Stop Watching the Clock

4. Create Shared Agreements

5. Plan for Regular and Informal Check-Ins

6. Schedule Planning Time for Teachers

7. Model and Support Wellness

That is certainly a great place to start. But what about the kids? How could this list be altered to serve children? What if we tried to make sense of the list by replacing the word "teachers" with "students", and adjusting the rest of it so that it was relevant to young people? Let’s start with the quoted sentence above, first: “Instead of “[mindfulness]” schools need to acknowledge their role in the problem and put in place the structures, practices, and time for self-care, reflection, and general well-being among [students].”

And here are seven ideas on how to get started:

1. Survey [students]—And Listen to Them

2. Give [students] an (Actual) Break

3. Stop [forcing attendance]

4. Create [consensual] Agreements

5. Plan for Regular and Informal Check-Ins

6. Allow for unlimited free play

7. Model and Support Wellness

It is not very difficult to serve the needs of children … if you let go of schooling.

Then I began to work on the blog post for day 92 so that I did not fall behind on my goal of one blogpost per day during this pandacademic year. While I was doing that I received a Slack message from Facilitator Ariel concerning some anxiety he was feeling over not being present enough at Abrome during the week as he was supporting mutual aid efforts in the area. I jumped on a quick call to assure him that what he was doing was vitally important, and that he was modeling exactly the type of behavior that is so critical for young people to see—people helping people. It’s not like sitting around constantly checking to see if internet is working, like me, was exactly being present at Abrome.

In the morning meeting Facilitator Ariel led with deep breaths as a grounding practice, then shared the agenda, and very quickly reviewed the Community Awareness Board. Each of us then shared something we had been grateful for during the challenging week: having good service at house, all of you at Abrome, and my Subaru; grateful for everyone at Abrome—life has been rough and you help me get through it; spectrum person who turned on the internet; same as [what the prior Learner / his sibling said]; a friend in Atlanta checked in on me and shared some really helpful information; "I rather keep it to myself”; I have power and electricity; mutual support among family and community; being in power grid where power stays on; dogs.

Next up was the weekly Check-in and Change-up meetings where we co-create culture with one another. Everyone stuck around for the Check-in which was appreciated. One of the older Learners raised an awareness of people talking over others in meetings. No one else raised any awarenesses so Facilitator Lauren adjourned the meeting and then started the Change-up meeting, which two Learners stuck around for. While we only had two prior awarenesses on the Community Awareness Board and were only considering one new one, we really dug in to understand what our needs were and how to articulate them. The older Learner in particular was very engaged in the process. It was a good meeting that we can hopefully leverage over our last two days of the cycle (Monday and Tuesday).

Modified high five

Having only completed one 7-minute workout during the week, I was intent on trying to make on Friday. Unfortunately, because I was still without reliable internet I was going to have to try to do it off of my phone. Facilitator Lauren helped me test to see if I could simultaneously run Zoom and the workout app off of my phone, and I found that I could, but that any attendees would not be able to hear the app. I decided that I would just narrate the workout and do the countdowns for the attendees. It turned out to be just the two of us, and it turned out to be an energizing and tiring workout. We did not miss our chance to give each other high fives after the workout, as usual, but I had to adapt my high five considering I had no video.

As the day inched forward I spent much of my time doomscrolling on my phone. While doomscrolling is typically not a great way to spend time, I had too much on my mind to do anything as productive as writing, or to do anything as enjoyable as reading. Besides, we were on the tail end of a humanitarian disaster in Austin. Not a Katrina level disaster, but enough of a disaster that hundreds of thousands of people in Austin realized that our best hope was to help each other, as those in positions of leadership are anywhere from ambivalent to antagonistic to the needs of the people. The good news is that the ice was melting, people were getting their power back, and most of the housed and the houseless survived the Texas freeze. But we were not in the clear quite yet, as many had been stranded with insufficient food and supplies for the week. Additionally, most of the city had no water. Thankfully there were people on the ground helping others.

Meanwhile, Facilitator Ariel was busy driving all over town picking up and delivering supplies. The biggest haul of the day was when they got word that Whole Foods was about to throw out a bunch of food, so he and some others rushed over to see if they could take the food to immediately distribute to those in need. Fortunately, everyone at Whole Foods was in agreement that the food should be offered up to the mutual aid effort.

Another unexpected benefit of the freeze is that I think all the Abrome Learners and their families will have a good appreciation for what it means to be prepared to meet in-person in cold weather now. But the Learners who were without power for days may feel that they now have an immunity to the cold, although I don’t think that will be the case.

On Discord, one of the Learners pointed out that it has been 10 years since the “Friday” song by Rebecca Black was released. I looked for an update about that and stumbled upon a video that pointed out that she was so relentlessly bullied at school after her video went viral that her mom pulled her from school so that she could homeschool. Great move, mom! I later found out that she had just released a remix and shared that on Discord, as well. That was about the extent of my interaction with the Learners outside of the meetings on Friday. I had a Discord hangout offering and a free write offering on the schedule for that day, but no Learners showed up for them.

Facilitator Lauren was able to connect with two adolescent Learners during the day. The two who had been without power for much of the week. Both meetings were positive and energetic, with one of the check-in ins running a half hour long. During that meeting the Learner was more interested in talking about the pandemic and whether or not we would be able to have a normal, pandemic-free fall. Facilitator Lauren also had a movement and music offering that an older Learner showed up for where they shared music with each other.

By the afternoon I was in position to host the afternoon roundup. I shared the agenda, reviewed the new awareness and the updated practices on the Community Awareness Board, and then opened the meeting for announcements. For the prompts I asked people to please raise their hand either on video or with the Zoom emoji. The prompt was, what is one or two things you learned this week that could help you help others during the next crisis? I asked for the Learners to take the prompt seriously so that we could all learn from each other. We took time to reflect and then shared: get to know your neighbors, build mutual aid networks; conserve electricity and water, be mindful of how my actions impact others, put more effort and energy into helping other people prep; I learned we should be prepared no matter what because we never know, trying to help others; get extra firewood to share; check for updates to share info, limit electricity; be prepared — get a flashlight, be on standby, have water and food; getting to know your neighbors; conserve electricity; I have friends who have trailers and stuff so I can use them to help others; didn’t learn anything. Well, hopefully the person who did not learn anything learned something from the other Learners.

And that was the day. And that was the week. A particularly exhausting week in a particularly exhausting month of the pandacademic year. We survived, and many of us left the week with a much greater appreciation of community and of finding ways to support others.

Day 92 of AY20-21: getting through another day during the Texas freeze

Thursday was day 92 of our pandacademic year and what felt like day 30 of the Texas freeze. We said we were going to be remote two nights prior, and without access to internet and therefore unable to do much of the work that I typically do before the Abrome day starts, and because I was feeling extremely tired, I had planned to sleep in an extra two hours on Thursday. But before I went to sleep I did check on the situation in Austin and it did not look pretty.

One of the most concerning issues was that even though many homes were thankfully starting to get power back, they were now running out of water for a variety of reasons (i.e., their pipes were frozen, their pipes burst, water mains burst). And while the state was able to keep hospitals powered up by cutting power to homes, they could not do the same with water.

Multiple hospitals in Austin lost water on Wednesday evening. There are obviously major implications to a hospital losing water including limitations on being able to stop the spread of infections through hand washing and being unable to dispose of human waste. On top of that, one of the hospitals lost heat. While what we are facing in Texas is no Katrina level type of humanitarian disaster, it is a disaster nonetheless, and this news was super concerning.

I was then sent a picture of a private text message about how bad things really were. The hospitals that were already dealing with people being brought in on the verge of freezing to death, from traffic accidents from the iced over roads, and the ever present reality of Covid-19, now had to deal with overflowing toilets and flooded operating rooms.

On top of that, then Austin issued a citywide boil water notice. So now the water was unsafe to consume, if you even had running water. Oh, but many people had no electricity or cell coverage so how were they to know there was a boil water notice? And people with power likely had no way to boil the water. The city also told people to be prepared to not have access to water, potable or not, for days, maybe even deep into next week. It’s been a lot for so many to deal with.

While there has been much pain and suffering in Central Texas there did seem to be hope on the horizon. The weather was going to get better during the day, and each day through the weekend. The power situation was looking like it would improve for most over the coming 24 hours, and that would make the water situation a bit more bearable and less dangerous. The roads would get better by the day. And perhaps most fortuitously, with the forced quarantine of hundreds of thousands of people the levels of Covid-19 infection will hopefully drop substantially on the tail end of this.

Facilitator Lauren with power and internet at home!

Facilitator Lauren led the morning meeting. 11 people showed up, including 8 Learners, a pretty remarkable showing considering all that was going on this week. Facilitator Lauren first led a grounding practice that consisted of deep breaths. Then she set game shifting to jump in (meaning when one wanted to talk they should just talk), reviewed our practices on the Community Awareness Board, and then shared the prompt. Everyone then responded with the one thing they would have gotten if they could go back to the days before the storm: a heated blanket; water and firewood, or a 2” lift on car; firewood; food for my lizard; cereal; pizza; more research into what outdoor gear could be used indoors; warmer weather or a scarf; IDK, playing with friends; nothing (my only problem has been internet; n/a (in Colorado).

After the morning meeting I was pretty much out of contact with the Learners for much of the day. I had no internet and even my cell reception was terrible, so Facilitator Lauren removed my offerings and check-ins from the calendar. I spent much of the day reading, thinking, and communicating with others over text.

Loading up supplies

Meanwhile, Facilitator Ariel moved into his one-to-one check-in with an older Learner, and then took off for the day. He again spent his day working with Austin Mutual Aid collecting and distributing much needed supplies to folks all over the city. The mutual aid work that he and the others in Austin were doing this week, as well as in other cities impacted by the disaster, was life-saving.

More supplies

Facilitator Lauren, at home with power and internet, helped keep everyone connected during the day. This included connecting with the Learners’ families that she had not connected with the day before.

Facilitator Lauren also had check-ins with two adolescent Learners who are excited for all of this disaster stuff to be over with (depending on the definition of disaster that could be a long time). In the afternoon she hosted a yoga offering, which one other Learner dropped in for.

Delivering supplies with Austin Mutual Aid

During the day I received a call from a classmate of mine from Stanford. He shared news of the tragic death of another classmate of ours who was also my classmate at West Point. I had not spoken to the deceased classmate in several years, and the news brought a lot of feelings up for me. In the midst of the crisis that millions of people were dealing with in Texas, I was reminded of the sharp pain that each casualty caused on the lives of those around them. I also thought deeply about the reasons we choose to stay close to some people and move away from others, and the role that personal values, appeals to power, and personal priorities can play in that. Even though this classmate was physical close to me, he was also a million miles away.

Nice turnout for the afternoon roundup

The end of the day came fast. I was in a better internet situation for the afternoon roundup than I was the morning meeting, but not in a good enough situation to turn my video on. With my internet situation and with Facilitator Ariel in the streets helping people, Facilitator Lauren took charge of the afternoon roundup. She started with the count off practice that I used for the afternoon roundup on Wednesday. It would be harder on this day as we again had eight Learners show up (ten people total including the two Facilitators). We got it on our third try, with my number being lucky number nine. Facilitator Lauren then reviewed the Community Awareness Board, and set our communication style with popcorn. Then each of us shared one thing that we can do during the evening to enjoy ourselves despite what’s been happening around us: work on cleaning my room; play video games; I have power now so I can bake acorn squash bread; play Minecraft; read books; getting Nerds (the candy); spend time with boyfriend on face time; play games with friends; breathe; breathe, too.

What a day.

Day 91 of AY20-21: holding space in a failed state

Day 91 of the pandacedemic year was not exactly a day in the park. The night prior the Facilitators decided to call off in-person meet ups for the rest of the week. There was just too much going on for us to seriously entertain the idea of bringing people together with multiple Abrome families having no power and heat, or frozen water pipes. On top of that, the roads were iced over across much of the county, and the weather forecasts suggested that they would ice over each night meaning that even if we did not have families struggling with the blackouts that it would still be unsafe to come together. This is on top of the trauma of knowing that scores of thousands of people in Austin were at serious risk of losing their homes or their lives.

That evening I sent an email letting families know we would definitely be remote for the rest of the week, along with some advice for how to survive the cold if they had no power, and some potential ways they could support mutual aid efforts on the ground.

On Wednesday morning the roads were indeed iced over. I took the Cuddle Buddies out for a walk and they confirmed that it would indeed be extremely foolish for Abrome to encourage anyone to take to the roads to meet up in a park.

It was depressing getting reports on all of the suffering that folks were facing in Austin and throughout the state. The suffering people were facing went well beyond discomfort. It was also disappointing and sad to see so many people across the country mocking the suffering in Texas merely because of who the elected politicians are. I get mocking the politicians or political parties, but to mock the suffering was disgusting.

“Our students have now lost an additional three, and it could be five, days of learning,” said Grenita Lathan, the interim superintendent in Houston. “And we were already behind.”

People are literally freezing to death and this is what a superintendent chooses to put out?

— Abrome (@AbromeEd) February 17, 2021

And while I am never surprised at conventional schools’ focus on “achievement” at the expense of child welfare, and in this pandacademic year in particular their disregard for the mental health of their students, I was greatly disheartened to read about what the superintendent in Houston had to say about the Texas freeze that has paralyzed the state. She said, “Our students have now lost an additional three, and it could be five, days of learning. And we were already behind.” Instead of empathizing with the suffering that her students are dealing with, or concerning herself with how to support them, her focus was on the mythical notion of learning loss. Unfortunately, in a system that is predicated on creating losers to anoint the winners, a lack of regard for the suffering of children may be necessary to rise the ranks.

Morning meeting

Once again I was not able to support the morning meeting due to internet issues, and Facilitator Lauren needed to focus on supporting older family members suffering through the Texas freeze, so Facilitator Ariel led morning meeting. It was pretty wonderful to see five Learners showing up, to include one who had been without power since the early morning hours of Monday! She told us that her dad was able to hook up the wifi to generator for 15 minutes. Being mindful of the time, Facilitator Ariel dove in, reviewed the Community Awareness Board, updated the calendar (lots of cancelled offerings and check-ins), and then said we’d use pass the ball to respond to the prompts.

First we shared what was one thing we each could do with our family to share joy, today: cuddle with puppy, check in on chosen family, watch movie, hang out, share Nintendo Switch with brother, watch a movie and spend time with my mom, read stories by the fire place. Next we let each other know how we were doing, if we had power, and if we felt safe. Everyone was feeling pretty good, although one Learner said they had no power and her feet were cold.

Being unable to connect due to a lack of internet, I had lots of time to read and think. I was able to get news on my phone and the news was not particularly nourishing. For example, I found out that Richard Elmore died. When I was at Harvard I was able to meet with him and discuss an idea I had to help millions of young people escape conventional schooling. Elmore was an exception in the world of higher ed in that he ultimately recognized that the problem with education was not barriers to fixing schooling, but that schooling was part of the problem. In the attached video he said, “I do not believe in the institutional structure of public schooling, anymore. I view the work I continue to do with schools, and i take it seriously, as palliative care for a dying institution.” And that resonates with me. I do not spend my time attacking teachers as too many in the alternative education world do. Many teachers and others who support schools are not trying to fix the schools or make them more efficient, they are merely trying to minimize the pain on students.

I also got to thinking about how the horrible situation playing out in Texas may have a silver lining. On the tail end of this, Covid-19 infections will have hopefully dropped off substantially because so many people will have finally chosen to stay at home, or more likely they will have been forced to. Instead of going out and catching and spreading the disease, a large proportion of the population will have effectively quarantined for ten days, allowing the disease to die off in many people. And considering that any single person who gets infected can seed a future superspreader event or even host the next mutation of the virus, the tragedy that is this deep freeze may end up saving more lives in the long run.

Facilitator Lauren, meanwhile, spent much of the day trying to connect with Abrome families. She found out that one Learner’s garage was flooded in addition to frequent power outages, while another family was concerned about the welfare of family members. One family was without power but were able to stay warm and had food, while another family was running low on water. While a couple of families were struggling, everyone was safe, and that should certainly be considered a blessing given what so many others were dealing with.

Facilitator Ariel spent his day engaged in mutual aid

While it would be foolish for most people to be on the road, Facilitator Ariel’s vehicle has four-wheel drive, and he responded to a call from Austin Mutual Aid to help deliver much needed supplies to people in need. While most people were locked down in their home or just trying to get by, Facilitator Ariel was very carefully navigating the roads of Austin to help those most in need. Thank you, Facilitator Ariel!

By the time the afternoon roundup came around I had internet and was able to host the afternoon roundup. Facilitator Lauren’s power was back up so she was able to join, while Facilitator Ariel was still delivering supplies with Austin Mutual Aid. Wonderfully, five Learners showed up, as well. Remarkably, the two Learners who had been without power since Monday morning showed up, while most of the Learners who were not out of power did not. I do not know what to make of that … perhaps those who were having the worst of the current situation had the most desire to find a sense of normalcy in the day?

Afternoon roundup

I started the meeting, reviewed the Community Awareness Board practices, opened up the meeting to announcements, and then for a belated grounding practice I had everyone count off from one to seven, with each person only being able to take one number. If anyone repeated a number, or if two people spoke at once, we would start over. We got through it fairly quickly, and then I used the numbers people claimed to determine the order in which we would respond to the prompts.

For the first prompt we each identified one challenging thing in our life right now: being disconnected and apart from others, coronavirus, being worried about other people and how they’re doing while being unable to help, growing up in general, this weather and coronavirus, Covid-19 and the weather, not having power right now.

For the second prompt we each identified one good thing in our life right now: knowing that people are in the streets helping others through mutual aid, being able to sled (for the first time in my life), power is now stable which means having wifi and being able to connect with others, my boyfriend and being in a good stable place in life, the snow is very beautiful, I have my dogs, I have heat (temporarily).

We then adjourned the meeting and said we would stick around for anyone who wanted to chat. At that time another Learner logged in, having missed the meeting but being able to connect. Most Learners dropped off but a couple stuck around and chatted. We asked the Learner who had been without power since 1:00 a.m. on Monday, and was still without power, how she was doing and talking about the various hacks they were using to stay warm. Facilitator Lauren also filled us in on the good news about the family members she was concerned about—they now had food and firewood thanks to a neighbor.

While we anticipated more bad news to break that night and the next morning, we felt good in that moment that we were able to hold space for Learners, to connect with the Learners and their families, and that everyone in the community was safe. And even though we live in a failed state, we had deep appreciation for all of the people who self-organized to go into the worst of conditions to try to save lives.

Day 90 of AY20-21: holding space during disaster

Day 90 of the pandacademic year would be the most concerning for Abrome. I woke up that morning understanding that the dangerously cold temperatures the night before, in addition to blackouts effecting much of Austin (and Texas), as well as the ice covered roads would put many people’s lives at risk, and may make getting people the support they need out of reach. The houses in Austin are not made for cold like this, and many people who live in Austin do not have practice managing this type of weather. Especially when their power goes out and their houses drop into the 40s, or 30s. Meeting in person would not be an option.

Remarkably, I had power and internet, so I was able to participate in the morning meeting. In addition to the three Facilitators who showed up, six Learners showed. A pretty great turnout given what was happening in the city. I quickly touched upon the agenda for the meeting, and then reviewed the Community Awareness Board. If there was ever a time for us to be present for one another this was it, so I highlighted our practices around being present, to include minimizing apps and putting down our phones during the meetings. One of the Learners was clearly looking at her phone during the meeting so I went over the practice again and she put it down. Next I opened up the meeting for announcements, and a Learner shared his desire to add a Roblox offering, so I opened up the calendar and we added it. That Learner was particular eager to talk that morning so I practiced patience and we were able to meet his needs while also meeting the needs of the group.

I mentioned that there were some people not on the call because they had no power or internet. I added that there were a lot of people suffering in Texas right now, to include some of our friends and family, and the thousands of houseless people, and I acknowledged that most of us were stuck at home and unable to help them. So I asked everyone, when we are stuck at home, how can we support those who are far away? The answers ranged from the serious to the not-so-serious: invite friends to house if they are out of power; letting them take their firewood; donating money to mutual aid groups; checking in on them, offering hacks, and conserving electricity; dragging cars out of ditches; checking up on friends and family by calling them or going to their house; sending a text or call to people you care about and just show them support; IDK; send them a message to make sure everyone is breathing correctly. I’m not certain if the less serious responses were an effort to manage with the heaviness of the situation, or if the scale of the situation was not apparent to the Learners. Nonetheless, we shared some nice suggestions.

High fives

After the morning meeting I had two one-to-one check-ins with adolescent Learners. Between both, we discussed boyfriend issues, family members getting vaccines, and plans to participate in workout offerings when we come back together again in-person. Then, because I had internet, I hosted the 7-minute workout (which we missed out on on Monday because of internet issues). It was a great way to get moving and enjoy each other’s company. At the end we gave each other virtual high fives and moved on with our day.

Coffee and read

Facilitator Ariel stuck around in the Zoom room because he was hosting the coffee and read offering for the next hour. I always try to stick around for that, and with all the worries I was having I was particularly inclined to just let go and read for an hour on this day. In the coffee and read we typically drink coffee or tea, and read. There’s not much interaction until the very end when we discuss our books. Facilitator Ariel continues to work his way through Anarcho-Blackness by Marquis Bey for the collective he is a member of, and I continued to read Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields for my Thursday book group.

Facilitator Lauren was having power and internet challenges on Tuesday but was able to have some one-to-one check-ins with the same Learners I had check-ins with earlier in the day. Unfortunately, after the check-ins her power died, again, which meant her internet and heat were lost, as well. Unable to connect, she needed to cancel her yoga offering. In addition to Facilitator Lauren losing power, one Learner had her power being shut down periodically, while two other Learners were in a sustained state of powerlessness. By that evening both of their households would still be without power with temperatures dropping. Fortunately, their families were mindful about keeping everyone warm despite very low temperatures within their homes.

My lucky run with internet was coming to an end. Fortunately I was hosting my free write offering on Discord and not on Zoom. I was unable to host it the day before so I was pretty hopeful that someone would be able to join me on Tuesday. One older Learner did, and I told her that I would work on a blog post, but that I was really struggling with it because of internet issues. I asked what she was going to work on and she said she did not know. So we talked about options such as journaling or stream of consciousness. She decided to journal, I set the timer, and we each wrote for about 40 minutes. At the end of the session I checked in and we both made progress, though not as much as we would have liked. But considering what was going on in Texas, we were okay with that.

Facilitator Ariel hosted the afternoon roundup. By that time my internet was shot again, and I was using my phone to try to follow what was going on in the Zoom room. I did not hear much. The prompt Facilitator Ariel used was, did you witness or participate in any acts of kindness today? The responses once again ranged from the serious to the not-so-serious: being in conversations with people organizing to save the lives of the houseless; my roommate shoveled snow out of the driveway and then chose to shovel the street; I connected some family and friends so that they could give and receive something that they each needed; loved on dogs; no, played in snow with my family a bit; no; no, just been doing my own stuff; not roasting my friends.

After the meeting the Facilitators talked about how we were doing with regard to holding space for and supporting Learners and their families. We also decided to follow up with the families that we knew were without power, share tips on staying warm when the power is out with the community, and formally cancelling in-person meet ups for the rest of the week. It was a long and emotional day.

While it was a rough day for some of the Abrome Learners, and for millions of Texans, we did take time to appreciate the joy that some experienced thanks to the snow.

Joyful

Enjoying the snow

Facilitator Lauren’s snow dog

Another snow dog with Facilitator Ariel