Days 126 & 127 of AY20-21: let's check in on the other cell

The 22nd and 23rd of April were days 126 and 127 of the pandacademic year. On the 22nd I was away from the in-person Abrome meetup as I was focused on administrative work, and on the 23rd I had planned to be in-person but we were forced to go remote due to thunderstorms. I will continue to combine days for my ‘daily’ updates when I am away from my cell, or when inclement weather hits (and this is thunderstorm season). In this case, both of the days fit that bill.

My day away from the cell was a good one. I caught up on a lot of overdue administrative issues, connected with the guardian of a recently enrolled Learner, and spoke to some families who are looking into a possible Abrome enrollment for their children.

In my absence, at my cell, there was lots of laughter shared between Facilitator Lauren and two of the adolescent Learners. They chose to lay down on the dock as if they were going to sleep while eagerly engaging in conversation with all. In their disagreements with another adolescent over what peppermints really are, they talked about the possibility of playing tag games the next day.

Facilitator Lauren also spent a lot of time with a younger Learner. They walked around various parts of the park looking at plants. They ate some ripe mulberries and some intense wild onions, and had a cockel burr battle. They also found another bouquet of flowers thrown in the bushes. I guess someone had a photo shoot in nature because it is so beautiful out here, and then they just toss what they don’t want onto the ground. At least flowers will fairly quickly decompose. Facilitator Lauren also played some racing games with the youngest Learner, going slow, forward, and backward.

At the other cell, Facilitator Ariel and the other Learners were confronted with a large vulture at the entrance to the greenbelt where they tried to enter. The vulture was menacing, for sure, but the group did not know if it would be unwise or unsafe to try to skirt around it. Fortunately they had computers in their pockets so they pulled them out and did some quick searches. Turns out that vultures are completely harmless and will happily step aside if you try to pass them. In this instance, it actually run down the trail away from the group as they tried to enter the greenbelt.

In the park, an adolescent Learner chose to take the other Learners back to the waterfall that he and Facilitator Ariel stumbled upon the day before. After admiring the tiny waterfall, they continued to explore this region of the greenbelt. During the exploration they found a cliff with some wonderful views. They stopped to admire the view, and one of the Learners chose to test her nerves by finding a large rock to perch upon overlooking the valley.

It was a cold day, and everyone but one showed up better prepared for the weather. Recognizing the ways in which they were not prepared for the day, they decided that it was the right time to build a shelter. After the crew navigated back down to the riverbed, the Learner began collecting logs and branches to construct the shelter, and soon the other Learners joined in. It turned into more a work of art than a shelter, but the weather had improved so the utility of the shelter was no longer a priority. They all looked upon their work and were satisfied. Before they parted ways at the end of the day, they found a bouquet of flowers. What are the chances that two different cells ten miles apart would both find a bouquet of flowers?

Every day by 7:00 a.m. we make our call on whether it will be a late drop-off, early pick-up, or a cancelled in-person day due to inclement weather. On this day, with thunderstorms scheduled for each our of our 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. day, it was an easy call to go remote.

Remote days continue to not be great, especially on unplanned inclement weather remote days. We only had four Learners show up for the morning meeting and the Check-in and Change-up, but that was enough for a quorum. We don’t have a formal quorum number but any fewer Learners would have meant kicking the Check-in and Change-up to the following Monday.

One of the Learners showed up late while Facilitator Lauren was facilitating the morning meeting, and another Learner typed the prompts into the chat. It was a practice we had months ago, but it was fabulous to see Learners continuing to honor those practices. It’s how we co-create culture. The Check-in and Change-up was a long one. The longest one we’ve had in months. But it was a really good one, with four awarenesses being added to our blank Community Awareness Board (since it was our first Friday of the cycle). One of the newer Learners in the community who had proposed an awareness sent me a private message in the chat asking if he could leave after we came up with practices for his awareness. I asked him to stick it out because it would not feel good to me for him to leave without supporting everyone else they way they supported him. He chose to stick it out, which continues to demonstrate some pretty big leaps and bounds he has been making in terms of his willingness to consider how his actions might impact others. We came up with some really good practices to work with this cycle, and I felt really great about the meeting. No one showed up to the offerings, and only three Learners dropped in on the afternoon roundup, but that’s the way it goes with remote days.

Day 120 of AY20-21: learning how to welcome people in

Friday, April 9th was the last in-person day of cycle 8, meaning it was the last day of our social justice oriented Flying Squad, and it was day 120 of the pandacademic year.

As the Learners came into the space before the morning meeting, I noticed four of the Learners all turned in toward each other, with one of the shadowers about 20 feet away just watching them. Over the prior few days of the week I had pointed out different ways in which they seemed to be excluding shadowers, or at best, not being welcoming to them. One of the things about Abrome is that many Learners come here to escape schooling. Abrome serves as a way to reclaim a sense of belonging, a sense that they matter after being in a system that saw them only as test scores or tuition payments. Abrome is a place where they are free from the competition and ranking and hierarchies that spur so much of the anti-social and toxic behaviors of schooling. But when they find a home where they finally feel safe, sometimes they get so invested in their relationships with others that they do not do a great job of welcoming others. And sometimes, they are so damaged from schooling that they hold onto comfortable relationships and are slow to welcome in others.

Which is a shame, because we are too small right now from a sustainability perspective, and our limited size limits the magic of what Emancipated Learning can be. Each new person brings in their own unique mix of interests, experiences, and ways of being. In a Self-Directed Education environment, where the learning happens as much from one another as it does from any formal medium, the benefits of additional Learners accrue not linearly, but exponentially. Additionally, social proof is extremely important for growing the community, as parents and guardians want to know that other families have trusted their children to be free, and prospective Learners want to know that other Learners like them have chosen to come to Abrome. In fact, we are suffering from a shortage of girls and young women at Abrome in part because when they’ve looked at Abrome they did not see enough people who looked like them.

Although I had planned to address my disappointment at the ways in which we were not being super welcoming to the shadowers in the morning meeting, I could not hold off when I saw the Learners turned in toward each other that morning. I walked up to them and said, “y’all are being a bunch of assholes.” Then I said, “no, you’re acting like a bunch of assholes.” I told them that while no one is forced to like or spend time with others at Abrome, that their discomfort at welcoming in new people is not nearly as uncomfortable as being the new person in the group, and they should know that considering all of them had previously been welcomed into Abrome. I said, that they had the right to ignore people, but “that’s a shitty way to live life.”

It was the second time that week that I had given some pretty raw feedback. They then awkwardly oriented their bodies toward the shadower to make him feel more welcome. Shortly thereafter I checked in with the mom of the other shadower, and she told me that her daughter felt so alone the day prior that she couldn’t get out of the car. The prospective Learner was not up for trying again that day, especially after the years of bad experiences she had at a variety of public and private schools. I was devastated. A lack of awareness or intention by our group to make the prospective Learner feel welcome resulted in her passing up what would have most likely been the best possible environment for her to finish out her adolescent years.

We then went into the morning meeting. The Learners could tell that I was upset, but they probably thought it was over what I said to them that morning. But what I was most upset by was that the Learners do care, but they have not yet been able to couple that concern with intention and action.

After the morning meeting we moved into the Check-in and Change-up. We ended up taking two awareness off the Community Awareness Board because we felt good about them becoming norms within our community, and four new awarenesses were proposed. We only had room for two so the two that we decided not to focus on that morning were: (1) we grow as people when we think about the feedback we get from others, and we grow more when we commit to change; and (2) it does not feel good when Learners treat Facilitators like parents or teachers and defer their thinking and decision making to them.

The first new awareness we added was proposed by Facilitator Ariel: the days are less frustrating when people are actively engaged in meetings. He began the discussion by saying that the prompts we come up with are purposeful but that the answers are quickly forgotten. We also acknowledged that simply repeating what someone else said did not typically indicate that one was really thinking about the prompt. We eventually agreed to three new practices for the awareness. The first was that if people were not engaged we would say “let’s focus” and then we would all recenter. The second was that we would look at person speaking, although if anyone felt uncomfortable looking others in the face they could simply look in their direction. The third practice was that we were not going to repeat what someone else said without an explanation.

The second new awareness we added was proposed by two of the adolescent Learners, and clearly sprang from my earlier words to them: some people aren’t making others feel welcome. This led to a longer conversation about the ways in which we welcome others is not only valuable because of how each Learner benefits, or how the community benefits, but because of the impact it has on the shadower. It’s about being decent human beings. We come up with three practices to try to address the awareness. First, each morning there would be a Learners only planning meeting for the day, that would necessitate bringing in everyone to engage with one another. The second was that we would invite people in. And the third was to use more welcoming body language.

It was a long meeting, and the Learners were eager to move on with the day after some pretty challenging and uncomfortable conversation. We did not get very far before the youngest broke down. His parents were allotting him a certain amount of money to spend on food each day, and that became his primary focus. We had agreed that we would stop at the corner store on the way back to the pickup spot at the end of the day to get food, but he wanted to get the food right then and there. Facilitator Ariel went to chat with him and one of the adolescent Learners said that he would take lead to talk to him, and he soon got the young Learner back on track.

Part of the plan they all came up with that morning was to stop at Fresa’s for drinks and food. I had never been there before so I did not know what a big deal it was. Facilitator Ariel and I were continuing to step back as much as possible to make space for the Learners to take charge. One of the Learners came up to me and bragged about getting his drink for free. I asked how, and he said that when he went to pay he was actually a few cents short. The lady at the window told him not to worry about it and let him have it for free. I remarked how incredibly generous she was and asked if he left a tip. He said that he did not. I said there was a tip jar at the window, and that if he got the drink for free it seemed to me that it would be quite appropriate to use some of the money he had for a tip. He asked how much, and I said I’d probably leave a dollar. He looked at the money in his hand, and drifted off. I watched him as he uncomfortably debated putting money in the jar or just joining the other Learners. He chose not to put the money in the jar.

As we were walking away I asked him why he chose not to tip. He said that he wanted to keep the money so he could spend it on something else. I asked him if he thought that was what was fair. He then told me that my questions were making him feel guilty. I asked him why he felt guilty, but he did not reply. I then asked him if he knew how the people who work at restaurants typically get paid. He said the company pays them. I said not always, that many service workers are paid below minimum wage with the belief that tips will more than make up for the low pay. And that by not leaving a tip, he took up her time without compensating her for it. I then pointed out that minimum wage in Texas is $7.25, but that servers often get paid barely over $2.00 an hour. I asked if he was willing to work full days for $7.25 an hour, or $2.13 an hour plus tips, and he said he would not. I suggested that he consider how fortunate he is, and to remember that the next time he has a chance to tip a worker.

The social justice focus for the day was to exist as young people in public, making adults uncomfortable about it along the way. They planned to hang out at the upper level of Whole Foods for this mission, but it was pretty clear to me that the real learning that day would be talking about being inclusive, and discussing minimum wage and tips.

I was pleased to see that so many Learners were drinking water that day. It was a warmer day and I encouraged them to drink early and often, and they were. By the time we got to Whole Foods the Learners were ready to spend some of their money. All of the adolescent Learners and the lone shadower went into the store. It seemed to be a big deal for the newest of the Learners to be trusted to go off by himself. The learning curve he is experiencing in terms of learning who he is, what his responsibilities are to others, and what it means to be free is pretty remarkable.

The youngest Learner asked to go into the grocery store with me (his money was sent to me via Venmo so he needed me to buy his food). I reminded him that the agreement we made was to get something at the corner store on the way back. He said he did not want candy, but that he wanted a fruit or vegetable. He totally tricked me, because I said okay. Once we got into the store he changed his mind and decided that he wanted to buy some sort of snack. We settled on a healthy snack with the understanding that we would not stop at the corner store on the way back, and that he would wait until we got back to eat it so that we made it in time. He said okay, and although he asked me numerous times to eat it early, he stuck to that latest agreement. Although the Learner had really struggled that cycle by ruminating on food and letting it take over large chunks of his days, he had come a long way in regulating himself.

The Learners ended up playing tag and associated games on the roof of Whole Foods, as well as just sitting around and chatting with each other. Two of the Learners and Facilitator Ariel made plans to play Call of Duty during our off week. And during the discussion I was told that two of the Learners had plans to get the Covid-19 vaccine that weekend! We ended the day/week strong with a review of practices, reflections on what each of us learned regarding social justice that week, and what we feel we need to do to become better human beings toward others. Then we finished off our week with gratitudes. What a challenging but tremendously powerful week of learning how to be supportive to others it was for each of us, and for our community.

The other cell finished off there week in a much more relaxed manner:

Day 116 of AY20-21: games to play

Monday, April 5th was day 116 of the pandacademic year. While most of the best news about Abrome comes on the weekdays, that weekend was really great news for the Abrome community—Facilitators Ariel and Lauren got their second Covid-19 vaccination shots! Facilitator Ariel got his on Saturday so he was present with the Flying Squad, but because Facilitator Lauren got hers on Sunday her entire cell was remote for the day. The Flying Squad was now starting our days out at House Park instead of near Barton Springs because we wanted to make it easier for us to focus on social justice issues (the goal of this specialty Flying Squad cell) and less on food.

As I wrote in the day 115 post, we decided to hold off the Check-in and Change-up until Monday so that the adolescent Learners could participate. The plan kinda worked, as one Learner was still absent. But first we did the morning meeting where we each responded to two prompts. The first was focused on something we wanted to accomplish during the week: drink water, a social justice oriented direct action each day, a good walk around the city, play one of Antonio’s fun games, games Antonio was doing, go to the skate park, and continue focusing on social justice problems. The second prompt asked us each how we were encouraged last week: Antonio kept reminding me to drink water, watching you all climb the tall structure at the playground, seeing Mikey doing “dumb stuff” on the slide, Antonio told me to go home (knee), baby children on slide drew me in, and Kaden jumped off swing so I jumped. I felt seen.

After the morning meeting we had a really great Check-in and Change-up, which focused on taking care of others.

After the Check-in and Change-up one of the adolescent Learners asked to speak with Facilitator Ariel about a “mom joke” he made on Friday. He was quite upset because of how it upset Facilitator Ariel, and Facilitator Ariel had stated previously how that was a boundary for him and on Friday he again made clear how hurtful those jokes were. As the Learner became overwhelmed with emotion, Facilitator Ariel asked if they could hug, and the Learner took him up on the offer.

One of the younger Learners observed this from afar, and when Facilitator Ariel and the adolescent Learner were finished, the young Learner went up to the adolescent Learner and asked if he could also hug him, and the Learner said yes.

I came into the week eager to try to play two different games with the Learners. One was Murder of Crows which was created by our Brooklyn Flying Squad friends, and the other was FairPlay which was created by Alex Khost of Flying Squads, and his brother, when they were younger. The Learners indicated an interest in both in the morning meeting and after wandering into a city park and taking a lot of time to just sit and talk, or climb into trees and contemplate, we all gathered around a bench to give FairPlay a shot.

None of us had played FairPlay before, so we did our best to try to figure it out and have fun doing so. It seemed pretty complicated to me—I guess I’m used to simple games with simple rules like chess and football. One of the adolescent Learners volunteered to be the Game Master and helped move us along, and everyone seemed to have enough fun. Enough fun that they insisted on playing again the next day.

The day went quickly. It was fun playing FairPlay and just being around each other again, in a relaxed, playful way. But more than one person felt that we once again failed to really engage with a social justice issue, so at the afternoon meeting we discussed how we could do more than say we wanted to do something. We agreed that on Tuesday we would do a garbage pickup. Then for the rest of the week we would look to engage with the homeless, make some trouble at the Texas State Capitol, and try to challenge some adults’ conceptions of the rights of young people.

Day 115 of AY20-21: limping along

Friday, April 2nd, was Day 115 of the pandacademic year. It would be a sparsely populated day with only three Learners showing up, with one of the Learners planning to be there for only half a day as she had a planned Girl Scouts meetup in the early afternoon, and Facilitator Ariel arriving late dealing with some insurance related issues because his car got rear-ended the day prior.

For this day, we decided that we would hold off on the Check-in and Change-up until Monday so that three Learners who were not present (they carpool together) could participate. In our morning meeting we each shared what was something that others could do that day to make us feel comfortable. The answers really highlighted the different wants and needs of the four of us who were at the meeting: acknowledge when I speak to you, staying at a pace I can keep up with (boot), going to the convenience store, and consider my feelings.

The request to go at a slow pace was because a Learner developed shin splints from all the walking that week, and was wearing a boot. We encouraged her to consider sitting it out for the day, and thought she would with the three oldest Learners not attending that day, but she was insistent that she wanted to be there. With her in a boot we felt that it made sense for us to slowly move toward the meetup point where she would me the other Girl Scouts, so we planned to walk along the south side of hike and bike trail toward the Congress Street bridge. This would allow us to walk on a softer surface, under more shade, and without the hassle and noise of car traffic.

I’ll be honest, it was a difficult morning for us. In addition to the low turnout (which can bring people down), one Learner showed up really upset about our focus on safety (e.g., drinking water, not running into the roads) and that energy stayed with him for much of the day. During the walk he tended to walk behind everyone swinging a long stick, which required multiple reminders to be mindful of people who are walking, running, or biking on the trail.

As we walked down the trail we turned around a bend with a view of the lake next to a small hill next to a baseball field. That led to a moment of sensory overload:

Learner 1: what’s that smell!?
Learner 2: trash?
Learner 1: dog poop?
Facilitator Antonio: I think it’s a dead carcass
Learner 2: oh yeah, look at that!
Everyone: 🤢🤮

Another reason it was a difficult morning for us was that another Learner was having challenges engaging with others in a way that made folks feel good. For example, the Learner wondered out loud why a duck was always in the field behind us at our meetup location. We agreed he might be there for food, and he said that maybe people were throwing bread out and I said that maybe he was there to eat snails. He said I was wrong—ducks do not eat snails. I said I was pretty sure they did, because I have seen video of them eating snails. He said that ducks would not be able to break the shells, and I said that they swallowed them whole. But since we were talking about birds eating snails and the challenge of getting them out of their shells, I said that roadrunners can eat snails by breaking their shells on rocks. He again told me that I was wrong. I challenged him and asked him why he felt the need to tell people they are wrong about something when they are not, and I said that it was okay to have gaps in knowledge. This has been an ongoing conversation that we will continue to come back to.

As we continued to walk, Facilitator Ariel met up with us on the hike and bike trail. By this time the struggles of one of the Learners became worse, as he needed to urinate and there were no public bathrooms where we were located on the hike and bike trail, but at the same time he did not want to walk down the path to find one. Then, he suddenly walked off in front of the group looking for a bathroom, leaving us (including the Learner in a boot) behind. Fortunately with Facilitator Ariel present we could accommodate the different speeds of the Learners.

After the bathroom break, we agreed that we would walk north on the First Street bridge, and then walk down Cesar Chavez, stop at a roadside restaurant for some Mexican food for those who needed to purchase lunch, and then walk south on Congress to the meet up point for Girl Scouts. We would walk by the houseless encampment that we previously went to.

We soon came upon two Austin Police Department cops speaking to two different houseless folks, with one of them being very upset and angry at the police. With Facilitator Ariel present, I asked the upset person if they wanted someone to stand there and observe the interaction, and she said, “yes, please.” I looked at Facilitator Ariel and he said that he’d stay with the Learners, asked me if I was good, and then I fell back and made my presence known. I kept my phone by my side in case I felt that I would need to begin to record. As Facilitator Ariel walked away he had a conversation with the Learners about why I would choose to observe the situation, why he asked if I was good, and what risk standing there posed to me. It was a good conversation for our social justice oriented Flying Squad.

After the cops left, I nodded to the houseless lady and began to walk back toward the Learners. They were already at the meetup spot for the Girl Scouts with some of the Learners eating lunch. I got back just in time to see off the Learner who was limping, and then watch the other Learners throw a frisbee around with Facilitator Ariel.

Now with only two Learners and a stellar 1:1 Learner-to-Facilitator ratio, we talked about how we wanted to spend the rest of our day. Both Learners said the wanted to walk back by a fast food restaurant and a corner store for food, and they wanted to pass by the playground we spent time at earlier in the week. We had a conversation about the challenges we have had getting back to the pick-up point on time during the cycle, and our concern that if we stopped for food we may not be able to make it. We came to agreement that if everyone was able to drink 2/3rds of their water, make time for me to film the daily update, and get to the fast food restaurant by 3:00 p.m., that we could make it back by the end of the day. Suddenly a day of frustration from the Learners started to shift, and they became much more intentional. Access to sugar and fried food can be a powerful motivator.

By the time we got back for the afternoon roundup everyone was in a much better mood than when we were that morning. Although the large intake of water and a milk shake left one Learner not feeling that great in the stomach. At the afternoon roundup we did rose-bud-thorn for the week, we discussed what we could practice that weekend, and what we would do to prepare for the next week.

Meanwhile, at the other cell a Learner received a birthday card; there was lots of climbing up, over, and around obstacles; and another danger noodle was admired.

Day 110 of AY20-21: stumbling into learning

March 28th was Day 110 of the pandacademic year, and it was the final day of our first week of cycle 8. We had a good week up to that point, although Learners being out due to quarantines and the fixation on seeking out destinations that we could spend money on food instead of engaging in social justice oriented activities was frustrating. But those struggles were outweighed by the positives of being together in the city again, with plenty of sun and good weather, lots of walking, and a some really great conversations.

The day was supposed to be a biking day for some, but the Learners who were going to bring bikes forgot to bring them, so Facilitator Ariel threw his bike in Antonio’s vehicle and we went into the morning meeting. A Learner and Facilitator Ariel both threw out prompts for the morning meeting. For the first prompt we each described a fruit without saying what its name was, while the rest of us tried to guess what it was. The fruits were green apple, grape, banana, tomato, and honeydew. What was really great about that prompt/game was that each of us successfully guessed one of the fruits.

Because it was Friday we went into our Check-in and Change-up meetings after the morning meeting. Three folks raised a total of six awarenesses in the Check-in, and during the Change-up we selected five that we wanted to focus on for the coming week. We keep the number of awarenesses that we put on the Community Awareness Board limited to five so that we can keep each one top of mind as we work toward shifting our culture, because if we had too many awarenesses we would become overwhelmed. The awarenesses included people ruminating on food/treats; dehydration; mindfulness about ourselves, nature, and the environment; taking into account the needs of others; and making assumptions about what others know. For each of the five awarenesses we came up with two or three practices that we would try out for a week to see if we could address the awarenesses we raised.

After the morning meeting we set off. We agreed to hit some food places on our way to the little green spot next to a pond that we found the day prior. I agreed to stop at a food truck so a younger Learner could get some Thai ice cream while the rest of the crew went to a corner store (coffee) and a fast food place (milkshake). When I got to the food truck with the younger Learner we found that it was closed, and according to the sign they would be closed for an hour. The Learner took it in stride and asked to go to a food truck that sold gelato, but we found that closed, as well. The Learner really wanted ice cream so I looked for nearby places that sold ice cream and we finally found one on South Lamar, but it was a 15 minute walk and uphill. He said that he wanted to do that, so I checked in with the others and asked them if it was okay to meet them at the park after we went to the ice cream shop. They said that would be fine, and we trekked to the shop.

When we arrived at the shop we took our time going through the options and debating how many scoops and toppings would feel good. As he was deciding I was surprised to see the rest of the crew come on scene. They set up in a sally port next to the shop, and began to eat lunch or snacks. When the ice cream was delivered I broke out my lunch to eat. Then we all began talking about a wide variety of topics, and we made time to take a bunch of pictures in front of the two murals painted on each side of the sally port.

Once the pictures were taken and everyone’s stomachs were filled we decided to make our way to our destination, but in looking at the map we thought we would see if we could find our way across a small stream and train tracks into the greenbelt so that we could avoid the sound and exhaust of cars during our walk. We were thrilled that no fences were in our way as we carefully walked across the place where the water flows and then across the place where the trains roll. We checked to make sure that no trains were coming and took a quick shot of the crew on the tracks. It could have been an album cover it was so good.

After crossing over the tracks we made our way down into the greenbelt where we followed a variety of trails that led us to West Bouldin Creek. Along our walk we saw a tree that had split and fallen but got caught up by branches to form perpendicular angles. The most amazing thing about the tree was that it was still alive, and the branches of the tree were budding. We guessed that it was a quite recent break, and most likely happened during the deep freeze that Austin experienced in mid-February. The weight of the ice that coated the trees brought down many trees in the area. It was a beautiful area that we walked through, and it would be worth coming back to in the future.

Also in the greenbelt we stumbled upon some tents. One of the Learners wanted to walk toward the tents to see what was happening, but Facilitator Ariel talked to the Learners about the importance of not making a lot of noise and steering clear of the tents for purposes of privacy for the people who were living there. That led to a discussion of public and private spaces, and the different expectations we might hold for others relative to ourselves. When Facilitator Ariel asked if the Learner would feel comfortable if someone was walking through their home looking in their rooms or making a lot of noise the Learner conceded that he would not feel comfortable.

When we finally got to the park we settled in, content in being full and having had had a nice walk through a beautiful green space hidden within the city. Some of the Learners spent time down by the water playing on the edge, watching the turtles scurry away, and watching the ducks float by. One of the Learners took off his shoes and walked in far enough for the water to go halfway up his shins. When he came back out of the water to hang with the rest of the crew we noticed something attached to his leg. It was a leech! Super cool for all, gross for some.

There was some time on the hammock, three of us broke out books to read (two Facilitators and a Learner), and a Learner and I threw the football around. Sadly, due to a lack of communication and poor setup the ball ended up in the lake, and slowly drifted away. In many places along the water there was growth that was deep enough and thick enough to prevent the ball from coming to shore while also preventing us from being able to go in and get it. We thought it was a lost cause.

I then followed a Learner back to the top of a hill that was created to provide a beautiful view of the area. Yesterday we found a large stone map of Texas on there, with a collection of cities or towns and their distance from Austin. On this day, I looked up the population of each of the towns, and then pointed out which larger cities and towns were omitted from the map. While we were up there we watched as a Learner worked the football out of the lake so that we could play with it some more in the future. It was an excellent recovery that allowed us to leave the first week of cycle eight on a high note.

At the other cell there was also a Check-in and Change-up, discussions about what to do when we come into contact with people who do not honor our boundaries, some walking, soccer playing, drone flying, and head-banging to metal music. Also ducks.

Day 76 of AY20-21: Check-in and Change-up day

Day 76 was the last day of our last full week of cycle five, and it would have been the last in-person day of the cycle had we not been in Covid-19 risk stage level five in Central Texas. The following Monday and Tuesday were scheduled online days, which would allow Learners to have a full nine days of being at home and away from other Learners to observe for symptoms before coming together again. It’s a brilliant practice that allows us to find ways to more safely be together in small groups during a pandemic … if there is not uncontrolled spread of the disease. But unfortunately, too much of Central Texas has given up the fight. So instead of Friday being the last in-person day of the cycle, it is the third to last remote day of the cycle.

We had a decent turnout for the morning meeting. Those who were missing included a Learner who has not been participating in meetings, a Learner who has recently started a job and is therefore unavailable for a lot of meetings, a Learner who often stays up much of the night and has a difficulty making the morning meetings, and a Learner who needs help from his family to log onto the meeting which does not always happen. We recognize that remote is a poor substitute for in-person Emancipated Learning, and instead of demanding attendance we continue to make ourselves available for Learners when they want to connect. No school should be demanding presence during online learning given the stressors of the pandemic.

The meeting started with announcements. Announcements are typically reserved for things that are relevant to the community, such as talk about upcoming offerings, requests for support from the community, or asking for commitments from others. But during the remote phase of the pandacademic year, it has morphed into people sharing whatever they want to share. When the announcements were over Facilitator Ariel shared a comic about how challenging experiences make the pleasurable ones all the better. It was a nice way to start the meeting. He then asked, how do you feel right now? After everyone shared the follow-up prompt asked everyone to identify what is something they can do to make others feel safe. The question was challenging for some, and some were not able to answer or they did not feel comfortable answering. Some repeated a practice that one of the cells implemented earlier this year. Wouldn’t it be great if all spaces did at least what the Learners came up with? Listen to people (actively listening); not using ableist language; not using ableist language, not using hateful words; being non-judgmental, showing compassion, and being present; “I don’t know because it is different for each person”; not using ableist language; give company to others; by being very protective.

Check-in and Change-up

After the morning meeting we moved into the weekly Check-in and Change-up meetings. Learners are expected to participate in the Check-in meeting when we meet in person, but in remote we just highly encourage it. One Learner dropped off early but everyone else stuck around. During the Check-in, Learners and Facilitators have the opportunity to raise awarenesses that they think may be able to be addressed in the Change-up meeting. An awareness is typically an observation of something that is happening in the community that has a negative impact on the culture that the person would like to see changed, although it can also be a suggestion that can improve the community, or it can be an attempt to clarify some of our norms. A young Learner and Facilitator Lauren both raised awarenesses. Facilitator Ariel then adjourned the meeting and immediately moved into the Change-up meeting.

Three left after the Check-in, leaving us with eight people for the Change-up meeting. As we began to discuss the new awarenesses that were raised I suggested that they were both topical to a prior awareness, and that instead of creating new awarenesses we could modify the current one. Everyone agreed. After we finished working out the wording of the awareness and reworking the practices to fully address the two raised awarenesses, we went to work on the other awarenesses that were already on the Community Awareness Board. During the review of the awarenesses one Learner spoke over everyone and aggressively said, “stop making pointless awarenesses.” It was a jarring statement that took the air out of the Zoom room, but Facilitator Ariel responded with patience to try to keep the Learner who stuck around for the Change-up involved in the meeting, to address his concerns, and to also protect the other Learners from feeling unsafe. Facilitator Ariel asked him to clarify his concern. The Learner said that some awarenesses were pointless and were a waste of time. Facilitator Ariel then asked him to please explain what he meant by pointless, and to highlight a pointless awareness. The Learner couldn’t identify one that was currently on the Community Awareness Board but he identified a prior awareness of “keep an eye and an ear out for weird creatures he meant.” I then pointed out that the reason the awareness was added was because a younger Learner came up with the awareness at a prior Check-in and then stuck around for the Change-up when most left, and so the Facilitators had the time to support the Learner through the process of identifying needs and practices relevant to his concern. We then removed the awareness after one week because we felt good about the practices. At that point the Learner acknowledged that adding that to the board was more helpful than not, but that what he really wanted was for the meeting to not last long. Of course the conversation made the meeting longer, but we felt that it was worth the time to work through the issue with him. During the entire process only one other Learner dropped off the call, and we still finished the meeting with plenty of time before the next offering.

Post-7-minute workout high fives

The next offering was our daily 7-minute workout that has been regularly attended by all three Facilitators and one of the guardians. It’s become a fun gathering for us as we all continue to increase our strength and endurance in a pretty low commitment way each day. At the end of each workout we usually ask each other how we are feeling and then do a high five into the camera. But on this day I queued up a music video of Queen’s “We Are the Champions” and each of us either belted out the lyrics or laughed along with the song.

“We Are the Champions”

I then moved into the free write where an adolescent Learner often joins me. But on this day no Learners joined me, but Facilitator Ariel did. He needed to work on some writing for the anti-racist Black collective he is involved with, while I worked on a blog post that I had been trying to finish up all week. It was a good session for each of us, as we both met our goals. I later jumped on a call for an Alliance for Self-Directed Education work group that I’ve been meaning to drop into for quite some time. It was nice to be able to plug into the efforts of people I have largely not worked with before, although I am being mindful not to sign myself up for more responsibilities when I already feel quite overstretched.

Working on some clay

Facilitator Lauren then hosted a clay creations offering that was open to all but particularly targeted toward one Learner who has held a deep interest in clay making since she helped him collect mud, form it, and heat it up in a fire during the first cycle of the pandacademic year. In the time since he has had support from his parents making clay creations at home, but he has not had the opportunity to work with clay at Abrome.

Clay creations

During the offering Facilitator Ariel dropped in to observe what was being created. Facilitator Lauren and the Learner both had a lot of fun with their creations while Facilitator Ariel just enjoyed being able to watch the joy in their faces.

Facilitator Ariel then jumped off for his own online gaming offering that was created as a way to connect with some Learners who are not doing as well with the remote experience this cycle. Unfortunately, none of them joined, but he stuck around and waited to be sure that he was available if they wanted to drop in late.

The Facilitators also had four one-to-one check-ins scheduled with Learners on Friday. The check-ins mean different things to different Learners. In one of my two Discord check-ins I asked the Learner how we could better support him because he had made a statement the day prior that the times that he felt least free were during Abrome meetings. He said that it was just a joke, and I asked him if there was any truth to it. He then said it sorta joke was but also that it was sorta true. I then asked what we could do to make it better for him and he said that he did not want to talk about it. I said that if he really felt unfree during meetings at Abrome I wanted to understand better, and then he threatened to hang up if I wanted to talk about it, and then he hung up. He sent me a message saying that I ruined his mood, and when I asked him how we could have a meaningful discussion about the issue he blocked me. It was an upsetting interaction for both of us. I was disappointed that I was unable to address his needs, and saddened by the manner in which he cut off communication with me. Had we been in person we most likely would have been able to let it sit for a while and then we could have come together later in the day to process what happened, but being remote I felt incapable of following up with him. And I figured that reaching out to his guardian to force the conversation would do more harm than good, so I just sat with my feelings.

Collaborating on naming Minecraft worlds

Fortunately not all one-to-one check-ins were as difficult as that one. Facilitator Ariel had a check-in with a Learner who started off the cycle completely absent from all meetings and offerings, and but more recently has been a regular fixture in our online gatherings as well as on the Discord channel. On this day she spent a half hour with Facilitator Ariel talking about all of the stuffed animals in her room and creating a world in Minecraft.

Afternoon roundup

Still feeling frustrated I moved into the afternoon roundup that I was responsible for that day. My mood immediately brightened when a Learner brought her young brother to the meeting. We all made space for him to say hi and share his thoughts, and then we formally started the meeting. With the Learner I had a difficult one-to-one check-in with missing the meeting, I decided to change up my prompt to help everyone consider what they can do in situations in which they may have hurt someone in some way. It was nice to see that many of the answers went beyond just an apology: apologize and commit to fix it; ask if i can make amends and actively work to not do it again; have a conversation about what happened and include them in the conversation if it was a response to them; apologize and make sure they know I know what I did wrong, explain how i should have done things differently, and give them space if needed; say sorry and try to make things better. Multiple Learners did not know how to respond to the prompt, but I think they benefited from hearing others share their ideas. I then adjourned the final afternoon meeting of the week.

Because it was Friday we then had a gratitude offering where anyone could stick around to share gratitudes. This is a fabulous exercise when it is not forced on young people. All the Facilitators and two Learners stuck around for it. One Learner who did not stick around for the gratitude offering primed it in the afternoon roundup that she was grateful for the Abrome community. In the gratitude meeting we shared multiple gratitudes. One Learner specifically expressed gratitude for Facilitator Lauren repeatedly reaching out to her with invitations to upcoming offerings. And Facilitator Ariel shared his gratitude for Abrome because “I get paid to wake up and live.”

Day 72 of AY20-21: Check-in and Change-up day

The pandemic blues continue

Friday morning came and I checked the pandemic numbers and they are getting no better, but at least they seem to have plateaued, even if temporarily. It’s pretty apparent that we are not going to have any hope of meeting in-person as a community in January and I seriously question whether or not we will be able to meet in-person in February. I am thankful that we are in a community of people who take the pandemic seriously, but I am so disappointed that so few other communities are doing the same, leaving us doing the right thing be being entirely remote, while all the local schools continue to bring students, teachers, and staff indoors.

A lightly attended morning meeting

The morning meeting on the last day of our second week of the fifth cycle of the pandacadmic year had light attendance. It seems as the remote experience is drawn out that some of the Learners are less eager to get out of bed and log in, even though we have a most reasonable 10 a.m. meeting time. At the morning meeting we pointed out that in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, that we would not be in session on Monday. So we discussed ways that we might be able to focus on supporting our communities, serving others, or engaging in racial justice.

Next, Facilitator Lauren led her first remote Check-in and Change-up. The awarenesses raised during the Check-in were that sometimes people were not showing up for all the meetings, and people sometimes complain about the length of the meetings. While all Learners agree to stick around with the Check-in to propose awarenesses, sticking around for the Change-up is optional. The Change-up is where we decide whether or not an awareness should be added to our Community Awareness Board, and then we identify the relevant needs for the awareness, and come up with practices that we will use to co-create the culture together. Three of the Learners stuck around for the entirety of the Change-up, which felt good. The six of us decided to add both new awarenesses to the board, with two new practices for each awareness. We also decided that we felt good about the awareness of keeping an eye and an ear for weird creatures.

Post 7-minute workout conversation

The Check-in and Change-up is the longest meeting of the week, so we jumped right into the 7-minute workout as soon as we adjourned the meeting. The usual crew showed up for the workout, and afterward we had a short discussion about how the workouts have been treating us. We are all doing well.

Getting ready for kitchen fun

After the 7-minute workout I jumped right into the daily free write where an adolescent Learner once again joined me. I said I would use the block of time to work on a blog post and she said she was going to continue writing her book. 50 minutes later we checked in with each other to see how we were doing. I told her how I was just trying to keep putting out recaps of the days at Abrome during this pandacademic, and that the daily free write would help me do that. I then asked her how her writing was coming along. She told me that her writing was going really well, and that if she keeps writing regularly that she believes she can meet her goal of finishing the book by June!

In progress …

Next up Facilitator Lauren was hosting an exciting offering called kitchen fun. Facilitator Ariel and an older Learner decided to join in on the offering, although they showed up mostly as spectators. Facilitator Lauren was in the process of making two types of biscuits—vegan cheesy garlic biscuits and cinnamon walnut raisin biscuits. Facilitator Lauren said that the former turned out disgusting, but the latter were pretty good, especially when they were slathered in almond butter. And although the Learner who showed up planned to be a spectator, she did eventually leave her room and head to the kitchen.

A culinary delight!

Facilitator Ariel hosted an online gaming offering which has not drawn in as many Learners as expected. When Facilitator Ariel was on he did see that the newly enrolled Learner who has not been showing up for any meetings was online playing a game, so Facilitator Ariel sent him a message. Unfortunately the Learned did not respond. We will continue to hold space for the Learner in the hopes that he will drop in at some point while we are remote, so that when we come back together in-person he will feel right at home.

There was a much better turnout from the Learners for the afternoon roundup. Most of our time in the afternoon roundup was spent in reflection via rose-bud-thorn, except it was for the week and not the day, and the bud was forward looking focused on the coming weekend. The roses for the week included reading and writing, working on my bike, natural dyes, I got a job!, played Tradelands, breathing, playing Minecraft, got a couple new projects to work on, getting my phone fixed, playing Among Us, getting a lot of work done on my book, finally completed Jurassic World Evolution, playing a creatures game on Roblox, and I got a lot of music work done.

Afternoon roundup

The thorns for the week included not enough outdoor time, not enough players for Among Us, the final products in natural dyes were not great, not having much to do today, dungeons bot doesn’t work, not breathing enough, playing (too much) Minecraft, didn’t go out enough, not being able to talk to an important person in their life, we cannot be in person because of Covid-19, I’m getting sick, I drank a big smoothie and feel bloated, having to stop playing video games, and not going outside much.

Looking forward to the weekend the buds were the info session and open house scheduled for Saturday, playing soccer, spending as much time outside as possible, getting dungeon bot to work, breathing, playing Minecraft, working on the new projects, having my nana over, natural dyes, having a plan to publish my book, eating pizza tonight!, and going to Houston. One of the Learners then asked if we could do gratitudes to end the meeting. We adjourned the afternoon roundup and invited folks to stick around for gratitudes. The Learner then expressed that she was grateful for “going down a better path in life.”

Day 67 of AY20-21: remote, but grateful

And local schools are still open …

Day 67 was our last day of our first week of 2021, and it was the first entirely remote week of our pandemic year. With the numbers continuing to rise in the Austin area, and without a combined effort by the businesses and institutions of Central Texas to shut down to stop the spread of Covid-19, we expect multiple more weeks of being remote to come. Nonetheless, I tried to go into Friday with as much energy as possible.

Facilitator Ariel was leading the morning meeting and his charge was to make it short so that we would have enough time for the Check-in and Change-up without taking up too much of the day. When Facilitator Ariel started the meeting a young Learner said he wanted to lead the meeting. Facilitator Ariel suggested they split the prompt to accommodate the wishes of the Learner but also move through the meeting as quickly as possible. The young Learner asked what everyone’s favorite instrument was: piano, standup bass, ukulele, “one of these” (steel tongue drum), piano, drums, none, acoustic guitar, guitar, mayonnaise, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, none, and kazoo. Ariel asked what everyone had for breakfast: nothing, n/a (intermittent fasting), waffles and syrup, eggs and toast, leftover shrimp and feta over rice, bagel with eggs and bacon, banana, yogurt, air, blackberries with sun-butter, n/a, corn nuts, and air.

Morning meeting

We then moved into the Check-in and Change-up which I was leading. The Check-in, where we raise awarenesses that we can work on to improve our culture, is an expectation of all members of the community. They community came up with four awarenesses for this first Check-in of our first fully remote week of the year: sometimes people talk over others during meetings, some people are distracted during meetings, sometimes not enough people show up for offerings, and we need to keep an eye out for weird creatures. You may note that none of the awarenesses call out a specific individual whose actions may have been the impetus for the awareness because we are focused on what works for the community, and because we want to prevent Learners from feeling like they have to defend their past actions. The goal is to come up with ways to improve the culture going forward, not to dwell on the past.

I really dug into the awareness of not enough people showing up for offerings because it was framed as two potential problems: people saying they would show up and then not showing up, and not having a critical mass of people showing up to make the offerings meaningful or fun. The Learner who raised the awareness was in his first full week at Abrome and was frustrated by my efforts to clearly define the awareness. Facilitator Lauren, seeing his frustration, jumped in to help the Learner understand why specific language for the awareness was important. This helped him get past his frustration and more clearly articulate what he felt needed to be addressed.

Next we moved into the Change-up portion of the meeting. During the Change-up we identify what our community needs are related to each of the raised awarenesses, and then we come up with practices that we will try out for a week or two to see if they address the needs of the community. If the practices do not work, that’s okay, and we implement new practices in the future. The goal being that we make the practices part of our community norms so that the awareness is addressed and our communal needs are met. The thing about practices is that we all agree to implement them into the way that we move throughout the Abrome space, even when remote, even if one did not participate in the Change-up, but that practices are not rules that people get punished for if they do not quickly adopt them. They are called practices because we are practicing them, and we can let each other know when we are not upholding the practices, but no one is going to get written up for coming up short.

Change-up meeting

Identifying needs is particularly helpful because it focuses us on what our values are as a community, instead of just problem solving. For example, for the awareness of sometimes people talk over others during meetings we identified our needs as take care of others, take care of myself (self-advocacy), and everyone is heard.

The practices we came up with for that awareness were commit to actively listening to others, game shifting (e.g., popcorn, pass the ball), and muting ourselves when we are not speaking. We did the same for some people being distracted during meetings. We put aside the awareness for sometimes not enough people show up for offerings because the Learner who raised the awareness did not stick around for the meeting. Anyone can raise an awareness, but we have a practice that we will table it if the person who raised it does not want to stick around for the Change-up.

Finally, we addressed the awareness raised by a young learner of keeping an eye out for weird creatures. The needs we came up with were take care of myself (so I don't get eaten), and take care of others (so they don't get eaten). Seems logical. Then we came up with practices. The first was to keep your head on a swivel. If you don’t see the weird creatures coming at you from the side or the rear you will be in serious trouble. Then we added to only have one earphone in so that you can hear them coming at you. We the modified the awareness to keep an eye and an ear out for weird creatures.

7-minute workout

I then moved right into a 7-minute workout with two adult members of the community (still hoping some young people will join us soon), and then I moved right into the free write offering where one Learner was waiting for me. Unfortunately, while I was on Discord, I was not in the proper voice channel for the free write, so just as I joined the Learner who was waiting for me logged out. I reached out to her guardian for help to let her know that despite the delay I was available. The Learner jumped back on and we wrote together for 40 minutes, although I was a bit distracted and did not get much writing done during that time.

Among Us

After the free write I joined the Among Us offering that was being hosted by one of the new Learners. He expressed his frustration that people were not joining the offering. I remarked that we would have worked on the awareness he raised that morning had he not left for the Change-up portion of the meeting, and then we briefly brainstormed ideas for how he could make the offering more appealing to the other Learners. We ended up playing in public mode meaning that he only knew three of the people who were playing. After Among Us, the Learner I had a one-on-one check-in with called me on Discord and we had a short call, and then I responded to some emails and ate lunch.

Natural dyes offering

Meanwhile, Facilitator Lauren was leading a natural dyes offering where folks could make tie dye fabrics using kitchen products. Only one Learner and his guardian showed up for the offering, but they had a blast doing so. The biggest complaint was not enough white t-shirts available for dyeing, so it is probable that Facilitator Lauren will do another natural dyes offering in the future.

Ewok hunt

Facilitator Ariel was hosting the next offering, online games. Only one Learner showed up for that game but Facilitator Ariel reached out to one of the two Learners who has not been showing up for offerings to invite him to join him. If you’ve been reading my past blog posts you would know that remote learning is an insufficient replacement for in-person community in a Self-Directed Education environment, but it is what is necessary for us to hold space for Learners during a period when we need to be remote to protect our community and the Central Texas community from Covid-19. Facilitator Ariel will continue to invite the Learner to participate, as he has also done for the other Learner who had not yet joined us online this week. During the online games offering they ended up playing a game called Ewok Hunt in Battle Front II on PS4.

After the online games offering and before the afternoon roundup there was a thirty minute break. All of a sudden the other Learner who had not been showing up for meetings or offerings logged in! She immediately began joking around, interacting with the other young Learner who joined the call, and talking to Facilitator Ariel. It was great to have her back, and it did not escape the notice of the other Learners and Facilitators who began to log on for the afternoon roundup.

I lead the afternoon roundup by saying, “everyone has favorite things. Like Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things. What is one of your favorite things?” Some of the favorite things from the Learners and Facilitators at Abrome include cooking outdoors, sitting in front of a fireplace on a cold day, walking barefoot outside, twisting up a swing and swinging from it, oxygen, my art, nordic and greek mythology, bike rides, my chickens, Facilitator Lauren reading to me, and games. Most also shared their highlight of week: working on bike, participating in our processing groups, the natural dye project, playing Among Us, talking to all the peeps, staying at home, joining the free write offering, one-on-ones with Facilitators Ariel and Lauren, and calling Ariel on Discord.

After the meeting two of the adolescent Learners stuck around to share gratitudes with the Facilitators. At the end of the week we sometimes share gratitudes as a way to recognize how fortunate we are (even if we are living through a period of pandemic, fascist violence, and racial injustice). One of the Learners said, “Abrome has gotten me out of a really dark place.” And the other said, “Im thankful for Abrome, for helping me when public school messed up my personality.”

One of the finished products