Back where the rest of the Learners were, the two other young Learners were involved in a variety of ever evolving games and exploration. As the pandemic numbers continue to worsen in Central Texas we expected that the county would declare risk stage level five at some point in the cycle, and when they did we would revert to a fully remote experience. We were already committed to one remote cell since we were in stage level four. For kids who suffer in conventional school settings, remote learning can be a godsend, as it allows them to escape the constant judgement, stress, and demands of schooling. But for our Self-Directed Education community, we have no Learners who benefit from a fully remote experience, as one of the benefits of SDE is the ability to come together and pursue interests with others who do not try to manipulate or control the Learners. Seeing these Learners engaging and playing really is a thing of beauty in a world that insists on locking kids down in even non-pandemic times.
The prospective Learner who was wrapping up his shadow was still feeling things out, and part of that included testing boundaries. For example, that morning he lightly but intently poked some folks with a stick and waited for a reaction. Facilitator Ariel gave him feedback telling him, “please do not touch him from my knees up to … the top of my head.” So the shadower then tapped him in the shins. This is not uncommon at Abrome when new people join the community, because when we tell Learners they are free, they want to see if we really mean it. Lots of schools might tell students that they’ve turned the school upside down and that the students are in charge, but the students learn quickly that they are only in charge of a tiny range of options that the adults have laid out for them. Quite frankly the schools should stop doing that because it is a form of gaslighting.
While we fundamentally believe in autonomy for all people, we are also a psychologically safe community that is anti-oppressive and consensus based. Or at least we are constantly striving to be one. So the poking incident was a great opportunity to express to the Learner that freedom does not mean license, and that our freedom includes accountability to one another. And although these conversations can be difficult for young people, especially young people who have only ever known rules and demands of them, they help the Learners to recognize the potential of freedom within their lives and how it can be used to support them and everyone else in the community.
The younger Learners, a six-year-old and an eight-year-old, who were playing a variety of games later broke a glass bottle that was in the dried out river bed. When asked what happened the Learners plainly stated, “we found it and decided to break it.” Abrome’s non-reliance on punishment opens up more opportunities for honesty from Learners, particularly when they know they may have done something harmful. But that does not mean that they enjoy having a conversation about it. As Facilitator Lauren attempted to engage them so that they could think through what compelled them to break it, and what the consequences of the act could be on others, the Learners started to walk away. Facilitator Lauren followed them because this was one of those moments they actually needed to discuss what happened because the Learners violated the Abrome agreements that every member of the community committed to. In particularly, the principle of taking care of others and taking care of the space. She said, “I need you to stop. We need to acknowledge what happened and we need to make it safe. We need to fix it.” Facilitator Lauren was concerned about them cutting themselves so she did not insist that they pick up the glass, but she did insist that they be with her while she cleaned it up. They started to point out where the pieces of glass were among the rocks, and then they all discussed why it was unsafe. One Learner said that it was no big deal because he could just walk around it, and that people could walk around it too. Facilitator Lauren struck a chord when she asked what would happen if a raccoon cut its foot. They acknowledged that it might not be able to move around for food and water. This was an example of how Abrome approaches difficult situations without relying on punishments. By doing so, we are able to have meaningful conversations rooted in trust and respect, that allow us to focus on the ethics of a situation instead of compliance and looking good in the eyes of others.
Back in the remote cell I had a scheduled check-in with one of the older Learners. She messaged me on Discord and said that we should cancel the meeting because there was no point in meeting. I asked her to explain and she said she had a rough week and was not thinking about the topic of the meeting. I said we should have the meeting anyway, as it was scheduled and I had made plans to be there, and that we could discuss her week or anything else. When she got on the call I reaffirmed that we did not have to dwell on the original topic, and we soon found our conversation drifting to all the ways that she wants her life to be after Abrome. Some of the conversation touched upon her desire to someday get a college degree, so I asked her if she wanted to take some community college courses. She said she did but that she had no idea how she could go about that or pay for it. I challenged her on that, asking her how she could find out if it was possible, and we then talked through what it means to look up that information and reach out to people who can help. It was a nice conversation and as I left she continued to scroll through the website of Austin Community College.