Everyone in the remote cell showed up for the morning meeting on Zoom. It was a pleasant way to start the day for us. We started the meeting with a fun prompt: who do you believe is most likely to hack into government security systems? Three people said that a 14-year-old Learner would be the most likely to hack in, while three others said that a 16-year-old Learner would be the most likely to physically break in. Each nominated themselves. Also, a 12-year-old Learner said he was the most likely to break in. We then moved to our intentions for the day, and the 16-year-old said he planned to break into the Pentagon. Like any good Facilitator would do, I advised him not to tell people his plans. Especially over Zoom.
The in-person cell had a more difficult morning than the remote cell did. When one of the younger Learners was dropped off the first thing he said was that he had a rough morning because he got into a struggle with his mom about getting off of Roblox (so he could get to Abrome in time for the morning meeting). Facilitators Ariel and Lauren were also having rough mornings, as Facilitator Lauren had a heavy traffic hour-long commute (clearly many people are no longer staying home due to the pandemic) and Facilitator Ariel needed to catch a ride because his car died. They had hoped to make the best of the day even with the less than stellar morning leading up to the morning meeting.
Free range kids in a natural state of being
They held their morning meeting at The Wall. When it was finished, some Learners wanted to go one way, and other Learners wanted to go another way. The Learner who said he had a rough morning walked off by himself, and two younger Learners soon followed him. So Facilitator Ariel agreed to go with those three, while Facilitator Lauren agreed to go with the older Learners and the two shadowers. When Facilitator Ariel caught up to the younger Learner who walked off he asked him if everything was okay. The Learner admitted that he was still upset about having to get off of Roblox and having a struggle with his mom about it.
Getting dirty while exploring
As the day went on he continued to find difficulty controlling himself and that made it difficult for his peers. He kept taking mask off, for example, and the other Learners kept giving him feedback on it. He was also taking some risks while climbing, which also made the other Learners uncomfortable. It culminated when he took them up some rocks that took them well beyond their comfort zone. Although they did end up at a really cool cave that made for great exploration and fun, so there was a silver lining. At the end of the day the Facilitators checked in with the Learner’s parents about his most difficult days at Abrome, and they agreed that it seemed to be that when he starts his day with Roblox and then needs to leave in the morning that it tends to make for a bad day.
Facilitator Lauren went in the opposite direction with the older Learners and the shadowers. Their day was going okay, as they made a fire and activity built up in the Learners around the fire. But when one of the shadowers walked away from the fire with a stick with hot embers on it Facilitator Lauren asked the shadower to please come back so that the shadower did not inadvertently start a brush fire. The shadower got really emotional with the feedback and began to withdraw. She then said she was really sad, and a 13-year-old Learner asked why, and the shadower said “I don’t know.”
For much of the rest of the day the shadower needed a lot of nurturing. Both Facilitator Lauren and the 13-year-old Learner provided it for her. And while the 13-year-old Learner is fabulous at caring for others, she often overextends herself to care for others. Facilitator Lauren and Ariel made it a point to check in with the next day to remind her that while it is appreciated, that it is important that she is also taking care of herself and not overextending herself. Later in the afternoon the same shadower had a bug crawl into her shirt, which caused her to panic. As Lauren helped her change out her shirt, the shadower said “I can’t do this outdoor thing.” It was hard to tell if this was just a statement made in the frustration of the moment or the day, or if this was a definitive statement on whether or not she could see herself at Abrome. Challenges and struggles lead to growth, so we embrace them, even if they are particularly difficult. At the same time, Abrome is not for everyone, and we would surely find out over the next several days of the shadow if Abrome was for this prospective Learner.
Facilitator Ariel with a young Learner
Back in the remote cell I had a great 25-minute checkin with with a 12-year-old Learner. We talked about him learning how to ride a bike, and also about his brother’s motorized bike. At the end of the day we began the meeting with rose-bud-thorn reflections. One rose was that a Learner got to talk to her grandparents, one bud was the a Learner made great progress on his art project, and one thorn was another Learner saying he did not have much to do that day. Then I added a prompt asking what is one thing that would make each of them happy. The answers were breathing more, good food, having her own supply of Sushi, Christmas (presents), and having more clothes and new furniture. For me it was to get people to stop focusing on competing with each other. I feel a world without forced competition would certainly lead to fewer rough days for all.