Day 113 of AY20-21: stumbling upon play

On Wednesday, March 31st, I started my day off by dropping by the cell that I was not in to drop off some items with Facilitator Lauren. While I was there one of the parents of one of the Learners showed up, which gave me an opportunity to have a conversation with them about frustration over some of our Covid-19 protocols. We recognize that we are one of the few exceptions to the rule when it comes to education communities and Covid-19. The rule seems to be to pretend it is not a threat once inside of the walls of a school, or on school buses, and pretend that students can’t take the disease home and into their neighborhoods. Our commitment to protecting each other and those outside our community have meant that we are entirely outdoors all year, even when it is cold or hot, and we are vigilant about quarantining, and we are vigilant about masking when around others. We had a good conversation about how to reconcile priorities within households that do not fully align with the priorities of the Abrome community, and the necessity for candor and open communication. It was a good conversation, but it made me late for the link up with the Flying Squad.

When I showed up to the Flying Squad, I was thrilled to see a Learner who had been quarantining had finally returned. Unfortunately, two Learners stayed home for separate reasons, but I figured the smaller crew would allow for more connection between me and the Learner who had just returned. For the morning meeting I volunteered to set the gameshifting board (sans the board), and I said folks could position themselves however they wanted as long as they stayed out of the roadway, and that we would speak in the order of the day of our birthday: 4, 8, 10, 11, 13, 20.

Facilitator Ariel then asked everyone what their intentions for the day and the week were, and then he asked, “what’s one way you can share space today?” He asked that question because it had become a concern how we are so into ourselves and each other that we do not realize how much space we are taking up that might take away space from others. For example, sometimes when the Learners are walking down a sidewalk they bunch up so they can all be together, leading them to unknowingly push others off the sidewalk. Of the responses, some seemed more effective than others. I’ll let you decide which ones might work best: give trees 6 feet; if someone is being left out, ask if they want to join; if we’re somewhere where someone comes over, don’t intimidate them; stay right, no more than two wide on trails; make myself smaller; use welcoming language.

When we started to walk off I noticed Ariel walking with a stiff leg. I asked if he was okay and he said he should be fine when it warms up with further walking. As I watched him struggle to walk, I raised the awareness to all, and asked to talk about it with Facilitator Ariel and the Learners. He admitted that he was in pain but that in the past the knee loosens up when it gets warm, and he said he wanted to push forward. Shortly thereafter, he hit toe while walking and he needed to stop. It was clear that he needed to go home, so I asked him to please go home and rest. The Learners agreed.

We then moved further down Barton Springs Road toward the food trucks where a Learner wanted to grab some lunch for later. I imagined we might be there a while, and that turned out to be the case. I was pleased to see how the older Learners went out of their way to pull an 8-year-old Learner into their circle at the food court. We were there long enough that I was able to break my 16 hour fast and eat my lunch at 12:00 p.m., with time to spare to help the younger Learner go over the menus of each of the food trucks. I also found time to drop my phone and crack the screen. That was an expensive lunch break. At some point I asked the Learners if we could move on, as I did not want to spend the entire day at the food trucks.

We did not make it far before we came upon a small convenience store that some of the Learners like to get snacks at. On this day, I forgot my battery pack so one of the Learners let me borrow theirs, but I needed to buy a cord at the corner store. The cord cost about the same as the organic candy that the Learner purchased. We decided that we would keep walking down Barton Springs Road until we got to the Long Center where we could potentially set up near the small pond.

When we got to the Long Center we found the fence around the playground that we had eyed up before had been taken down. And oh my, it was amazing! The layout of the playground was fabulous, with numerous places for young people to get lost in play without feeling like they were surrounded by a bunch of others. There were structures that challenged Learners of all ages to take risks and to come up with their own games.

The Abrome Learners launched themselves into the various swings, tunnels, climbing contraptions, and slides. One of the climbing structures was pretty daunting, and really stands out in terms of allowing kids to take on risk in a society that has insisted that children’s zones are engineered to eliminate risk. Kudos to the City of Austin for being an exception, in this case. The Learners made their way up the climbing structure, some slowly, some quickly. But at the top they all posed for a picture, proud of their ascent, and thrilled to have done it with others.

With all that fun came some struggle. It was difficult for one excited Learner to keep his mask on around others, and reminding him repeatedly wasn’t feeling good for me and it wasn’t working for him. So I asked him to sit down with me to slow down a bit until he could remember to honor our safety boundaries (one of our practices). He was not wanting to stop, but the break allowed him to gain control over himself and when he went back to play with others he had no problem keeping his mask on. He made great friends with a young learner who showed up with his sibling and his mother. I asked the mom about his schooling situation, and it seemed like they were just trying to find ways to get by. I wanted to tell them to look at Abrome but it was clear that finding alternatives to school was not high on their priority list, so I smiled, and let it pass.

At the afternoon roundup I asked the Learners for their highlight of the day, and requested that none of them repeat what someone else said. The Learners’ highlights were the slide, the park, scaling the climbing structure and hanging out at the top, and soccer. My stated highlight was when a Learner allowed me to borrow his battery pack. But then I looked at the Abrome Slack and noticed that Facilitator Ariel thanked me for “advocating for my needs and safety.” That was the highlight of my day.

The other cell had a pretty fabulous day, as well:

Walking Hunter

Chilling on the dock

Chilling in the wikiup

Gathering flowers

Dinosaur tracks?

Day 59 of AY20-21: a rough day for some

Everyone in the remote cell showed up for the morning meeting on Zoom. It was a pleasant way to start the day for us. We started the meeting with a fun prompt: who do you believe is most likely to hack into government security systems? Three people said that a 14-year-old Learner would be the most likely to hack in, while three others said that a 16-year-old Learner would be the most likely to physically break in. Each nominated themselves. Also, a 12-year-old Learner said he was the most likely to break in. We then moved to our intentions for the day, and the 16-year-old said he planned to break into the Pentagon. Like any good Facilitator would do, I advised him not to tell people his plans. Especially over Zoom.

The in-person cell had a more difficult morning than the remote cell did. When one of the younger Learners was dropped off the first thing he said was that he had a rough morning because he got into a struggle with his mom about getting off of Roblox (so he could get to Abrome in time for the morning meeting). Facilitators Ariel and Lauren were also having rough mornings, as Facilitator Lauren had a heavy traffic hour-long commute (clearly many people are no longer staying home due to the pandemic) and Facilitator Ariel needed to catch a ride because his car died. They had hoped to make the best of the day even with the less than stellar morning leading up to the morning meeting.

Free range kids in a natural state of being

They held their morning meeting at The Wall. When it was finished, some Learners wanted to go one way, and other Learners wanted to go another way. The Learner who said he had a rough morning walked off by himself, and two younger Learners soon followed him. So Facilitator Ariel agreed to go with those three, while Facilitator Lauren agreed to go with the older Learners and the two shadowers. When Facilitator Ariel caught up to the younger Learner who walked off he asked him if everything was okay. The Learner admitted that he was still upset about having to get off of Roblox and having a struggle with his mom about it.

Getting dirty while exploring

As the day went on he continued to find difficulty controlling himself and that made it difficult for his peers. He kept taking mask off, for example, and the other Learners kept giving him feedback on it. He was also taking some risks while climbing, which also made the other Learners uncomfortable. It culminated when he took them up some rocks that took them well beyond their comfort zone. Although they did end up at a really cool cave that made for great exploration and fun, so there was a silver lining. At the end of the day the Facilitators checked in with the Learner’s parents about his most difficult days at Abrome, and they agreed that it seemed to be that when he starts his day with Roblox and then needs to leave in the morning that it tends to make for a bad day.

Facilitator Lauren went in the opposite direction with the older Learners and the shadowers. Their day was going okay, as they made a fire and activity built up in the Learners around the fire. But when one of the shadowers walked away from the fire with a stick with hot embers on it Facilitator Lauren asked the shadower to please come back so that the shadower did not inadvertently start a brush fire. The shadower got really emotional with the feedback and began to withdraw. She then said she was really sad, and a 13-year-old Learner asked why, and the shadower said “I don’t know.”

For much of the rest of the day the shadower needed a lot of nurturing. Both Facilitator Lauren and the 13-year-old Learner provided it for her. And while the 13-year-old Learner is fabulous at caring for others, she often overextends herself to care for others. Facilitator Lauren and Ariel made it a point to check in with the next day to remind her that while it is appreciated, that it is important that she is also taking care of herself and not overextending herself. Later in the afternoon the same shadower had a bug crawl into her shirt, which caused her to panic. As Lauren helped her change out her shirt, the shadower said “I can’t do this outdoor thing.” It was hard to tell if this was just a statement made in the frustration of the moment or the day, or if this was a definitive statement on whether or not she could see herself at Abrome. Challenges and struggles lead to growth, so we embrace them, even if they are particularly difficult. At the same time, Abrome is not for everyone, and we would surely find out over the next several days of the shadow if Abrome was for this prospective Learner.

Facilitator Ariel with a young Learner

Back in the remote cell I had a great 25-minute checkin with with a 12-year-old Learner. We talked about him learning how to ride a bike, and also about his brother’s motorized bike. At the end of the day we began the meeting with rose-bud-thorn reflections. One rose was that a Learner got to talk to her grandparents, one bud was the a Learner made great progress on his art project, and one thorn was another Learner saying he did not have much to do that day. Then I added a prompt asking what is one thing that would make each of them happy. The answers were breathing more, good food, having her own supply of Sushi, Christmas (presents), and having more clothes and new furniture. For me it was to get people to stop focusing on competing with each other. I feel a world without forced competition would certainly lead to fewer rough days for all.

Day 58 of AY20-21: welcoming two shadowers to Abrome

Day 58, Wednesday, December 16th, meant that we only had five days left in the cycle. Because we require prospective Learners to shadow with us for five days, those who wished to enroll for January needed to begin shadowing no later than that Wednesday or wait until January to shadow. We had one Learner lined up to shadow since the beginning of the month, and we had a late shadower rush through the admissions process to also begin on Wednesday. We only had room for the additional shadower because one of the Learners who was originally meeting in-person moved to the remote cell due to exposure concerns. It was a hopeful day for everyone at Abrome, knowing that we may be able to grow our community as we launch into the new year.

At the in-person cell the Learners warmly received the two shadowers. Facilitator Lauren told an eight-year-old Learner that the 13-year-old shadower was into paleontology, and they both got right to talking about their interests. They both shared that they each had brought dinosaur books in their backpacks that day! The 15-year-old shadower was nervous, but talkative, and shared that she often had challenges in new settings. They joined the rest of the Learners and Facilitators in declaring intentions for the day, with the 13-year-old saying he hoped to learn a lot that day.

Facilitators Ariel and Lauren offered to host a Self-Directed Education panel to help introduce the shadowers to how SDE works outdoors, without coercion, and within the Abrome community. But the Learners decided that they did not want to settle down for a panel on that day, and suggested maybe trying it later in the week. Each of the Learners shared a bit about themselves to help make the shadowers feel more welcome, and then the shadowers chose to share a bit about themselves. A younger Learner shared that he was autistic, which put one of the shadowers at ease.

At the morning meeting for the remote cell, as we talked about what we had planned for the day, two adolescent Learners suggested that I write an open letter to school leaders about how they should approach schooling during this wave and the dangerously high levels of infection that we will likely face for much of the winter. So besides the offerings and meetings I had scheduled for the day, I added that to my list of goals. Two of the Learners missed the morning meeting, so I checked in with each and encouraged them to join us later in the day. For one of the Learners, we had a scheduled check-in after the morning meeting. He joined me ten minutes late, apologizing for sleeping in. Some folks just don’t appreciate how much adolescents need sleep. Even with a 10:00 a.m. start time, which is much later than the schools in the area, Abrome Learners still are not getting enough sleep.

Ready to ride

At the in-person cell, one of the adolescent Learners and Facilitator Ariel bought brought their bikes to ride. Together they went with another adolescent Learner and the 13-year-old shadower to The Bridge. At The Bridge the former challenged themselves on their bikes, while the latter painted. The older shadower stayed with Facilitator Lauren and the younger Learners, and got into a long conversation with Lauren. After extended conversation the shadower shared that she felt a sense of trust with Facilitator Lauren, even though she does not trust people often.

Some were attracted to the heat, others to the marshmallows

Later, the Facilitators, Learners, and shadowers met up at The Bowl. Facilitator Lauren brought a camp stove, and the group roasted vegan marshmallows and made hot chocolate. The stove and the associated hot treats have been a huge hit this cold December cycle. The adolescent Learners and shadowers spent much of their time hanging around the fire, while the younger Learners were running around playing. One of the Abrome Learners and the 15-year-old shadower connected on their shared interests in mythology, and then art. The shadower then made some art out of a stick she had charred in the camp stove.

At one point, one of the shadowers started to drift away from the group as he explored the area. One of the adolescent Learners went up to him and said that she also used to go off on her own, but that she learned that it is important for us to build up trust with each other before folks begin to venture out on their own. Also, that they should bring a walkie talkie with them, as well. Facilitator Lauren added that she wanted shadowers to stick near Facilitators for now, until they could be sure that the shadowers had a good sense of where they were and that they could quickly be found if need be. It was a great example for the shadower of how we value autonomy, but also how we are a community that looks out for each other and therefore we need to agree to certain boundaries.

This cycle seems to be all about finding a good vantage point

I had two check-ins on the day. In the afternoon I met with an adolescent Learner who wanted to talk about Elon Musk trolling people over pronouns on Twitter. After he gave me a synopsis of what happened, I responded that I did not think that is was particularly amusing that this billionaire felt the need to call out trans and non-binary people over pronouns. We then got into a discussion over what it means to be ‘triggered,’ if being ‘triggered’ is sometimes a better option than mocking people, and what people with power can do with their time. Later in the day, I stumbled across a blog post which expanded on some of the points that I made and shared it with him on Discord. After the check-in it was time for my Free Write offering. Only one Learner has been coming to the offering which I have been hosting each day, and on this day I continued to work on the open letter, which I later published.

Back at the in-person cell one of the older Learners threw a stick onto the rock ledge above them and a rock fell off and grazed the head of one of the shadowers. While being outdoors is far safer during this pandemic than being indoors (the odds of transmitting Covid-19 in a closed environment are nearly 19 times greater than in open-air environments) being outdoors does carry risks. This point was made clear on day one of this prospective Learner’s shadow. Both the Learner who got hit with a rock and the Learner who threw the stick were shaken and upset by the experience. After receiving an ice pack and realizing that it was a minor injury, the shadower leaned over and assured the Learner that she knew that he did not mean to hurt her. He said that he felt terrible that he did something that hurt her, and she responded that she hoped he would feel better soon. The shadower then shared how trustworthy everyone seemed at Abrome, and how it was in start contrast to her experiences at school where bullies reigned. The other shadower then added on that he has always always seemed to stand out as weird at school, and Facilitator Lauren responded, “welcome to your tribe.”

A friendly reminder from the Abrome crew to give a damn

Day 51 of AY20-21: risk and trust

I started my Monday morning frantically working to finish a blog post on why all schools should close their doors for the rest of the winter. I was hurried in the morning and ultimately was not able to get it finished. But I made great progress and I felt that I had prepared myself for a great day. Plus, I figured I would be able to squeeze in some time to finish it up in the middle of the day. At 9:30 a.m., Facilitators Ariel and Lauren called me to check in for the week. We had a quick ten minute call to talk about what we hoped to accomplish during the week and what we would each focus on. And then at 10:00 a.m, I jumped onto a zoom call for the morning meeting with the remote Learners.

Two of the Learners were missing for the morning call so the meeting was going to likely be a shorter one. I wanted to get the Learners to be thoughtful about their contributions during the meeting so before we jumped in at each stage of the meeting I asked for thirty seconds so people could collect their thoughts. The prompt for the morning meeting was, what is one thing or change that you think would make the world a better place? An absence of competition, more people playing Rogue Lineage, more people knowing what Bombus polaris is, and if people did not discriminate against certain groups of people. Maybe I should have requested 45 seconds?

We went over our intentions and then moved onto practices. We reviewed the four new practices that were established at the Check-in and Change-up on Friday: encourage discussion based offerings at the Set-the-Week meeting, host a Discord hangout each day, set an alarm to show up for afternoon roundup, and be mindful and present in the meetings. The first three shared their practices and then the last one said, “what, what are we doing, intentions?” I suggested that maybe he could focus on being mindful and present during meetings, and he laughed and said that he would focus on that one for the day.

Next we moved onto the Set-the-Week meeting and I shared that I would host two 7-minute workouts that week, in addition to our one-on-one checkins, a daily Free Write offering, and Discord hangouts. None of the Learners proposed their own offerings so we we adjourned the meeting and went on with our day.

Thinking about possibilities

The in-person cell was meeting at the climbing wall that morning. Most of the Learners said they wanted to do what others have done last week, with the younger Learners wanting to spend time at the wall and the older Learners wanting to spend time at the cave. Facilitator Ariel said he was interested in creating new experiences and challenges and wanted to go a different way. So he headed south with three Learners and the prospective Learner who was shadowing. During their hike the came across some graffiti on the underside of a large bridge, and discussed possible creative offerings. One of the Learners dismissed it as a possibility because that would not be taking care of the space. That led to a conversation of what it meant to take care of the space, and a discussion of possibilities.

At 11:00 a.m. I had a call with a college student from Illinois who wanted to learn more about Abrome and Self-Directed Education. The young person had joined the Education Conversations book group the prior Thursday, so we had already been introduced and we were able to jump right into a variety of questions. It was a nice conversation and it is clear that he had spent a lot of time thinking about the role of education in his life and in society. Toward the end he told me of some of the possible paths he was considering from dropping out to getting teaching experience through Teach for America. I encouraged more reading and discussion before making that choice, but I also discouraged teaching at a conventional school, whether or not it was through TFA. The reason being is because in order to teach in a conventional setting the teacher must take an oppositional position to the student. They have to force students to focus on the classwork, and in doing so they tend to develop negative views of students, and that can only be harmful in the long run.

Continuing to explore

Back at the in-person cell, three of the Learners were taking turns working with a hatchet that was brought by Facilitator Ariel. There was lots of conversation about safety considerations (such as not walking around with it unsheathed), and the hatchet work went on for quite some time. Three Learners got to explore some caves, while the two youngest Learners played a variety of imaginative games. Facilitator Lauren got to read her book, while the shadowing prospective Learner was nearby carving a downed branch. Facilitator Lauren asked him if it was soothing and he said it was.

There was a lot of encouragement between Learners this day

Finding new ways to overcome obstacles is a pretty standard Self-Directed Education thing to do

Earlier in the cycle there was conversation about the rope that Facilitator Ariel carries in his bag. Ariel explained that it serves as emergency rope, and that it is not climbing rope. They have had conversations about different ways that it could be used, and how it could be used safely. But on this day one of the Learners really thought that it could be really helpful to their attempts to scale some difficult terrain. They had a conversation about how we can sometimes use things in ways in which they were not intended, but also how it can lead a sometimes bad outcomes. One of the Learners proposed increasing the strength of the rope by braiding it or using multiple strands of it. Facilitator Ariel debated the risk of using the rope in the way that it was suggested, and instead of saying “no, you cannot do this” they discussed the possible consequences some more. Facilitator Ariel weighed the risks and decided that the proposed safety considerations would do, and let the Learner use the rope in the way that she proposed. It was an excellent exercise of creativity, risk management, and trust building.

The remote cell wrapped up our day with a very small meeting, as two Learners have appointments on Monday afternoons, and two others did not make the call. The remaining Learner offered to lead the meeting and asked two prompts: what are your intentions for tomorrow, and which park should we visit next time we are in-person? After we responded to both she added a third: would you rather go for a hike or go to a swimming pool with a diving board. She chose swimming pool, and I said hike. Although I did say I was flirting with the idea of jumping in the lake sometime this week when the weather is nice.

We adjourned the meeting and I checked in with two Learners who unexpectedly did not show. I was saddened to find that the reason one did not make it was because a close family member had just passed away. I followed up with each member of the family to let them know that I was available to support them however they needed it. Another huge disadvantage of being remote is that there is no near-term possibility for me just to be around the Learners (siblings) in a way that could facilitate an opportunity for them to process their emotions. I informed the other Facilitators so that we could plan to make ourselves available for the Learners and their family, and then shared some resources about supporting those in grief. It was a difficult way to end day 51.