Abrome is a member of the Agile Learning Centers network because of a shared commitment to liberatory ideals. We believe that in order to help co-create a better world, we must actively work against the many forms of injustice that exist within our society, to include the oppression of young people. Abrome is a place for young people to practice freedom in a community that values consent, practices consensus, and centers the needs of those most impacted by our decisions and actions. We seek to provide an alternative to conventional schooling and dominant culture.
From the outside, the struggle to emancipate young people from conventional schooling environments may sometimes seem to put us on the same side as people who are not seeking liberation for kids, but are instead trying to maintain their privilege or to hack the game of schooling. Some want to protect young people from the indoctrination of schooling to shield them off from society so that they can indoctrinate them at home. Some are okay with hierarchy and domination so long as their children benefit. We are no more interested in lifting up the voices or allying with such groups than we are of doing so for those who want to “improve” or “fix” schooling, which will also, by design, perpetuate the harms of the status quo.
Day 25 of AY20-21: we have a new game at Abrome
Friday ended a short second week of our second cycle at Abrome during this pandemic-academic year. It is amazing how quickly time seems to be flying while we are outdoors. I still haven’t been in the same cell as three other Learners, the other Facilitators also haven’t been able to share a cell with some Learners, and all the Learners have yet to meet some Learners, as well. We are both finding our footing as a community outdoors, and still finding our way as newbies.
For the week, the other cell spent a lot more time at the swimming hole they discovered the prior week. Five of the Learners went on a hike. The younger Learners fashioned brooms out of nature materials to clear out a space for their forest hideout club/academy, where several meetings have already occurred. Two Learners brought their doggo Hunter on Friday. They also discovered a deer carcass on Friday, which was an intense learning experience for sure.
Two sets of Learners head out on separate hikes
My cell spent this week doing a wide variety of things, although our home base was primarily by the lake. Hiking and swimming were some of the more popular activities this week. On Monday we hiked to the top of the hill for our morning meeting, and then as the week went on four different Learners and I all went on a couple of hikes. Most everyone jumped in the lake to wade or swim, with several Learners jumping off the roof of the dock or the roof of the boat house, as well. On Thursday we even held our afternoon roundup where all but one was in the water. A couple of us spent time reading in the sun, and two Learners spent time writing—journaling or writing comics. A Learner and I helped edit some of the journaling Learner’s writings. Some Learners created charcoal paint for body paint and washable graffiti. We caught a skink, played with mud, and had a long conversation on how Covid-19 is transmitted.
Our CAB is portable this year
We had a full crew on Friday, as we have had for much of the cycle. We tend to have more fun on days when everyone shows, and Friday was no exception. We held our Check-in and Change-up meetings after a brief morning meeting that was led by one of the Learners. The Check-in and Change-up resulted in three fewer awarenesses than the prior week, as we collectively agreed that we felt good about the practices around those awarenesses. We added one practice to the Community Awareness Board (CAB) to assist us with one of the awarenesses we are still going to work on.
One Learner was running late while the other Learners wanted to head to the lake to start the day. We had a conversation about whether we should go to the lake and trust that the Learner would figure out that we headed there, or if we should wait for the Learner. It was an interesting conversation that pitted people’s personal wants with consideration for another Learner’s feelings. The debate was settled when one Learner said that if he showed up late and no one was around that he might assume Abrome was cancelled for the day.
Working on a comic
I expected a slower day on Friday based on the Learners’ intentions. Two said freetopia, one said don’t die, while the others had primarily sedentary intentions (e.g., chill on the dock, finish comic, talk to another Learner, edit book, listen to music, rest). But perhaps most powerfully was “not hike.” That did not last long around other Learners though, as four of the Learners decided to go off on two separate hikes. The Learners came back a few times but spent much of the next couple of hours exploring. Before they left I asked to meet with two of them at 1:00 p.m. for a check-in. I set up relatively close to the Learners who stayed back to write, and one of them eventually wandered over for a long conversation about a range of topics. The other Learner was focused on the comics she was writing.
Fortunately the only thing that fell was completion times
Just before 1:00 p.m., two of the Learners came back from their hike, and we somehow found our way to the retaining wall that runs along the lake. And for some reason we decided it would be fun to move from one corner to another on a path that curved around a tree and at some point slopes heavily (45 degrees) toward the lake. Soon enough, the other two Learners returned and joined in. We started walking, jogging, and then running the short route as a game, to see how fast we could navigate from one point to another without falling in. It was a mix of exhausting and exhilarating, as the need for speed coupled with the fear of injury or falling into the lake really tested us. It was remarkable how much time we shaved off as we got faster and bolder with each successive try. Fortunately no one fell in, and we stayed dry the entire day (no one jumped in the water for the first time this week).
One should never feel too old to make mud pies
I got to sit down and meet with both of the Learners I had hoped to talk to. In one of the meetings we addressed a sensitive topic that is likely going to need to be revisited in the future. Some Learners went back to making mud pies, some went on another hike, and one Learner asked me to play the game Should I or Shouldn’t I which helps people think through various social situations. Normally we fully agree what is the most appropriate course of action on any given scenario, but there was one that we did not agree on. “A friend has a fear of snakes. You think it would be funny to see their reaction to finding a snake, so you stick a rubber snake in their bag and wait for the laughs. Should I, or shouldn’t I?” The joy of such a prank was too much to let go. I will be very careful when opening my bag from now on.
Day 24 of AY20-21: finding new spaces outdoors, making space for young people
A lovely, shy, insect eating skink
I got a call from another Facilitator as I was leaving my house on Thursday morning so that we could touch base on a situation we had to work through regarding a prospective Learner. That conversation lasted through the drive to the drop-off location, and through multiple Learners being dropped off. We had a good conversation about some of the history of Abrome before she joined, and we also talked about facilitating through frustration. When I got off the call I noticed something moving in the grass at my feet. I called over to the Learner who was sitting nearby and we went searching for it together. It moved quickly through and under the blades of grass which made it hard for us to identify or capture. It did not take us long to realize it was a skink, and it took a bit longer to catch it. We admired it and then released it, and then wrote down our intentions for the day.
All but one Learner had arrived by the time we started our morning meeting, and the other Learner rolled in about half way through it. I tried to move quickly through the typical part of the morning meeting so that I could have a conversation about Covid-19. I wanted to speak with the Learners about Covid-19 because of some misconceptions I have heard from a couple of the Learners about how it spreads, and so that they could understand how their choices could impact others in the community. We talked about why being outdoors is safer than being indoors, why we are in smaller groups this year, the role of masks in reducing the spread, how duration and exposure impact the number of viral particles one may be introduced to, and how the size of the viral inoculum impacts the likelihood that someone develops Covid-19. We also opened up space to Learners to talk about any risk factors that they may have, and the people in their lives who would be put at risk if they brought the virus home. We also busted some myths about how easy it might be to catch the disease if we continued to engage in sensible social distancing and masking practices.
It was a long morning meeting, and most of the Learners indicated afterward that they wanted to head to the lake again. I asked if anyone wanted to go elsewhere, so that we did not get into a pattern where a majority was always dictating where we would spend our days. No one indicated a desire to go elsewhere, although a couple said they were indifferent.
A Learner writing down the words she is focused on for ASL
When we arrived at the lake, a Learner pulled out some writings that she had printed out and handed them to me and another Learner so that we could give her feedback. I asked if she wanted edits focused on punctuation and grammar, or bigger picture feedback. She said that she was interested in all forms of feedback so I spent a fair amount of time editing it as the morning went on. The Learner eventually asked if she could join me, and we talked about a wide variety of issues that related to her life. One of the benefits of trying to build an SDE community where children are free from judgement, assessment, and ranking is that it opens up space for them to share their interests and struggles. In doing so we can better support them and work with them to navigate life, instead of forcing them to navigate around us.
During this time the other Learners were doing a variety of activities. One was working on developing her comics, another was making balls and discs out of mud and sand so he could throw them at a tree, and another one joined in on that effort after some time, and a few Learners were working on their American Sign Language (ASL) skills. When the Learner I was talking to returned to the dock she also began working on ASL with the group.
I would love it if these hikes became an everyday occurrence
One of the Learners had asked me if I wanted to go on another hike and I said yes. Then another Learner said he’d like to join for the hike, as well. I checked in with the other Learners to make sure that they would look after and take care of each other, and to remind them that they cannot swim without a Facilitator around, and then I took off on a hike with the two Learners. The Learner who had the most experience at this particular park once again took the lead, and led me and the other Learner down a trail that neither of us had been on. We came across a tiny waterfall that we didn’t know existed, and past dried stream beds that were likely filled with running water just last week. Finally, we stumbled upon the wonderful waterfall and swimming hole that we have visited a fair number of times, but today it was dried out. There were drops of water coming over the rock into the pool area, but they were no match for the evaporation from the heat and the sun. Nonetheless, it was still a beautiful spot and we sat down and enjoyed it for a moment.
A great place to sit, halfway through an invigorating hike
One of the Learners decided that he wanted to grab a fallen tree that had a home in the pool and take it back to the lakeside. I asked him kindly not to impale anyone during the hike back. We went up a steep hill and then gently worked our way back down to the lake. It was great exercise and by the time we got back I was ready to jump in the water.
A couple of Learners were on the dock and I asked if any wanted to jump in. Three of us decided to jump off the boat house in quick succession. It was refreshing, but unlike the prior day, one jump was enough for me, and it seemed to be for the others, as well.
The day quickly wound down, and the Learner who had been working on her comics reminded me what a wonderful experience it was to have the afternoon meeting in the water. She also reminded me that having each of the Learners out of the water say something nice about one of the Learners in the water was fun and funny. So I went with that as the facilitator of the afternoon roundup. Three Learners and myself were in the water when we started the meeting, and three Learners were out of the water. When I mentioned that due to the numbers everyone in the water could say something nice about someone out of the water, but everyone out of the water would need to say something nice about two people in the water, two of the three Learners ended up going in. Both of them pretty spectacularly—one by flopping entirely in, and another by losing his balance and falling in off the dock. It was a fairly goofy ending to another great day in the sun and the water.
A damsel fly dropped in to say hi at the end of the day
Day 23 of AY20-21: leave no trace
As of the end of the day on Wednesday we would already be halfway through our second cycle of the pandemic year. The forecast was sunny and hot, and I went into the day assuming that the Learners would spend much of their day in the water given that it is likely that the next time it would be that sunny or hot would be in May or June of 2021. But given the way 2020 has been going maybe it will be in December. Two Learners were going to be out on Day 23, which meant we would have only four Learners present. One Learner was celebrating her younger sibling’s birthday, and another Learner was suffering from a mix of allergies and not enough sleep.
When I arrived at the park one Learner was already there, waiting. We checked in with each other and she wrote out her intentions for the day. She noticed a water bottle and a knife sitting nearby, and recognized the knife as that of a fellow Learner who left early the prior day. We talked about the various ways we could inform the Learner about our find. Not long after, a wife and husband from the neighborhood who know about Abrome walked by us as we were waiting for everyone else to show up. She pulled out a pencil and asked if one of the Learners may have left it in the park. It had the name of a Learner written on it. It was apparent to me that it was time to have another ‘leave no trace’ conversation with the Learners.
When the Learner who left the knife and the water bottle showed up, I pointed the bottle out to him and asked him to please take it with him or throw it away. The other Learner chose to hold onto the knife for the time being, as it did not seem obvious that the Learner realized he had left it there. It was 10:02 by the time they filled out there intentions, so we moved into the freshly mowed grassy field next to the drop off location for the morning meeting. During the morning meeting we reviewed the awarenesses and practices that we were working on as a community, and then I had a brief conversation about making sure that we do not litter or leave anything behind while we are outdoors. We all agreed that throwing food into the bushes, leaving scraps of paper or plastic on the ground, or forgetting to gather our personal effects could have a negative impact on the wildlife, it was inconsiderate, and it could mar the beauty of the places we visit. We decided that we would take extra time to look around when we were leaving a spot to make sure that we were not making the spot worse off.
Making charcoal paint
Because it was a beautiful day, and because we hiked up a hill for our morning meeting the day prior, the entire crew wanted to head straight to the lake. But we did not leave until we made time for a Learner who arrived quite late to write out his intentions. The intentions of Learners were simple and achievable: swim, read, drink water, rest, socialize, write, chill at the lake, and don’t die. I did not feel as though a hike was in the cards for me that day, so I did not include it on my intentions.
A beautiful day to read a favorite book
When we arrived at the lake I was surprised to see all the Learners lingering around me and each other, in a constantly evolving conversation. One adolescent Learner took a walk and was gone for about 10-15 minutes. When she returned some of them decided to make paint out of charcoal. When they made the paint, they applied some to their skin and also to the dock. I spent much of my time talking with a Learner who wanted to share her thoughts on a variety of topics such as TV shows and movies about crime, writing, and Instagram accounts. She then began reading a book that one of her favorite teachers (from Houston) wrote. Another Learner was investigating stuff along the waterline near where we were seated. I do not know all of what he discovered, but he did tell me that he found the molting of a crawdad or crawfish, or what I called crayfish growing up. I asked him if he wanted to go on a hike with me, and to my surprise he said yes.
When we started Abrome we only had three rules—no drugs, no weapons, and no pornography. As we grew we recognized the need to add a stop rule, which ensures that people honor other people’s boundaries and helps us develop a consent-based culture. This year we reluctantly added another rule which said that no one is permitted to swim without a Facilitator standing by, watching. While we are all about Learners taking risks, we are not going to play around with the risk of drowning as it can happen so quickly, and so silently. Sometimes people ask me why we are so resistant to having rules, and others ask how we are different than democratic schools when we share the same general belief that children should be trusted to make their own decisions about how they spend their time. The answer to the first, and a partial answer to the second is that rules are limiting. Rules limit our imagination of what is possible, they can have the unfortunate effect of limiting our ethical development, and they can encourage people to seek ways to skirt the rules as opposed to personally committing to what is best for them and the community. But sometimes rules are necessary, and so therefore we are okay with our five rules that will help protect the community from being shut down (drugs, weapons, pornography), to make unambiguous our commitment to a culture of consent, and to protect Learners from serious harm or death from drowning.
I went off on the rules tangent because while we wanted to go on our hike two Learners were wanting to jump in the lake. I said that we could not have it both ways, and I was not going to pass up the opportunity to go on a hike. We agreed to wait twenty minutes before going on the hike so that one Learner could scale onto the roof of the deck, and then up on the roof of the boat house where she would jump into the lake. And while it took almost the entire 20 minutes to scale up, jump in, and swim back to shore (the other Learner jumped in from the deck), I was glad to have waited to watch the process.
It was a beautiful hike
For the hike I did not have a destination in place, but I did tell the Learner about a path that I saw last week that I was interested in checking out. The Learner, who lives in the neighborhood, used to come to the park all the time before the pandemic, so he knew exactly where it led to so he decided to take the lead. We stopped briefly at the drop off location to refill my water bottle and then we were off. The hike was not too difficult as there was only one uphill section and it was otherwise largely flat, and mostly on a well worn trail. On the way back we bumped into a guy with a huge camera lens (probably 18 inches long) who was out looking for birds. We had a short conversation with him about how the camera lens works and the challenges of taking pictures with smaller lenses because of heat and light.
By the time we returned to the lake I was ready to jump into the water. The Learners made their spot on the deck and I climbed up onto the roof of the deck and then the boathouse and jumped in. I did so another four times after that, as well. It is a fairly good workout just scaling the structure, jumping in, and swimming out. That, coupled with the hike, and coupled with the run I took at 5 a.m. that morning made me feel invigorated and alive, although I would collapse into my bed, exhausted by 8:30 p.m., which meant I would have a fabulous night’s sleep.
One of the Learners decided to see if he could get the zebra clams to clamp down on various objects like twigs. I had a short conversation with a Learner about what it would mean to graduate from Abrome, and then that Learner offered to lead the afternoon roundup. She asked us to review how we did on our intentions, to do rose-bud-thorn for the day, and then to share announcements. Then, with about 20 minutes to go before we had to walk out, I gathered up my things and checked to make sure I did not leave anything. I gently encouraged the Learners to be mindful about the time so that we could get back to the pick up spot around 4 p.m.
When we arrived at the pick up spot some of the Learners’ rides were already there, and the Learners began to say goodbye. At that point one Learner realized she had forgotten her water bottle back at the lake. She asked her guardian if there was time enough to go back and pick it up, and then she ran back to get it. Like most things, internalizing leave no trace principles will take time.
Charcoal paint grafitti
Day 22 of AY20-21: fighting complacency about Covid-19
We did not meet on Monday as were honoring Indigenous Peoples’ Day, so we came back together on Tuesday for the second week of our second cycle of the year.
The day did not start out great as a Learner showed up without having gone through the daily at-home screening checklist before arriving. I asked him as soon as he arrived if he had completed it, since I did not get a text prior to his arrival that he had, and he said he had not. So I took out the checklist and went through it with him, and checked his temperature, while his guardian waited to make sure that he was good to go. I then had a conversation with him about the importance of always completing the checklist before arriving.
The cell seemed small when it was time to start the meeting as Katie was no longer shadowing with us, one Learner was out because of food poisoning, and another Learner was late. One of the Learners volunteered to be the game master, and set the conditions for our meeting, and then followed that up with facilitating the morning meeting. The prompt for the meeting was ‘what did you do this weekend?’ Some of us seemed to have had busy weekends and some had fairly lazy ones. One of the highlights of one Learner’s weekend was stopping by a candy store where he bought some jelly beans that were various levels of spicy, and he said he would like folks to give it a try at some time during the day. After the meeting was over, the Learner who was running late joined us, and the group talked about where we would like to spend our day. It looked like it was going to be another sunny, warm day, and four of us included going to the lake or swimming in our intentions. I proposed that we consider taking a hike before going to the lake and everyone agreed. Finally, I was going to get my hike!
We took a detour so that we stopped by the bathroom before scaling the hill on a fairly steep route. I offered to walk at the rear of the group with anyone who wanted to walk slowly up the hill, and I said that we could take as many breaks as needed. One of the Learners in the group took advantage of that, taking many breaks on the hike up as it was really challenging for her. But she made it, and although she said it was really difficult she seemed pleased to have made it to the top.
Relaxing a the top of the hill: a Learner is working on her comic, a Learner is using the walkie-talkie to speak to another Learner that’s on a hike, a Learner is adding his two cents to be relayed over the walkie-talkie, and a Learner is trying to pull thorns from a prickly pear out of his finger
At the top we all relaxed on some large rocks. One Learner took out her lunch and then worked on a comic, while other Learners went looking for prickly pear fruit to harvest. Some of the Learners who found prickly pear fruit came back and cut into the fruit to eat it, while also spending time removing the prickles (called glochids) from their fingers. The Learner who brought the spicy jelly beans pulled it out and offered to share them with the group. We developed a protocol for doing so safely by having him be the only one who spun the wheel that determined what bean a person would eat, and I used hand pliers to grab the beans so that we were not all dipping our hands into the same box. The flavors of the beans were Sriracha, jalapeño, cayenne, habanero, and Carolina Reaper. We found that most of the beans were not actually that spicy (compared to actual habanero peppers, for example), but they tasted awful. We did fairly well with the social distancing practices during the jelly bean eating experiment except I had to kindly remind the Learners that if they were disgusted by a bean that they had to walk really far away from the group to spit it out, just as they would if they needed to sneeze.
At noon I began to eat my lunch, as did a Learner who was also doing intermittent fasting. Shortly thereafter the Learners said they were ready to go to the lake, but as I was still eating I told them to go without me. I said anyone who wanted to stick back with me could, but every Learner decided it was time to go. One of the Learners in the group does not move as quickly on hikes as the others, and has some spatial processing differences, so I checked in with her to make sure that she did not want to wait for me, and with the other Learners to make sure that they were going to accommodate her needs. They all said they were good, and they took off, each of them seemingly quite happy to leave me behind. I finished my lunch and had a call with the veterinarian about Cuddle Buddy Ivan and eventually made my way back toward the group.
When I arrived at the lake I asked one Learner when she wanted to have the one-on-one check-in that we did not get in on Friday, and then I checked in on some of the Learners who had positioned themselves on the dock. One Learner was eating a banana, and another Learner, although masked, was about four feet away from the Learner who was eating. I reminded them of the awareness we raised on Friday about not getting too close to each other without masks. I later observed Learners laying down on the dock, while still masked, but with their heads only two to four feet apart.
I reengaged the Learners and asked them if they were doing the full checklist each morning, and all of them said yes, definitely, except for one who said, “checklist?” This led to some expressed shock from some of the others, and I pulled the Learner aside and walked them through the checklist. I explained how vitally important it would be for them to complete the checklist each day before arriving, and how they should not come if they do not complete the checklist. I then made a note to also check in with the Learner’s guardian so that there was no confusion on their end, either.
I do not want to spend my time policing Abrome Learners or their families about safer Covid-19 practices, but at the same time I do not want to allow complacency to set in whereby folks become lax and put others in the community at risk. Instead of bringing Learners together indoors for 6 hours a day where they could breathe recycled air, we took everything outdoors in small operating cells of only four to seven Learner each, this year, in order to make coming together as safe as possible during the pandemic. But our approach to the pandemic works best when everyone is abiding by the practices we agreed to, such as social distancing and daily screenings. Fortunately we are in a community where most people take the pandemic seriously, and none dismiss it as a hoax or “no worse than the flu,” so my focus can be on vigilance instead of having to educate them in order to get them to recognize the risk they can poise to others. Nonetheless, I believe that for Day 23’s morning meeting I will reserve some time to discuss Covid-19 and the latest research on how it spreads.
A super cute baby snapping turtle
Afterward I checked in with the Learner for the one-on-one check-in and then watched the Learners jumping into the lake. There was a lot of conversation between the Learners about who was going to jump off of where. It was good to see the different Learners setting boundaries for themselves on what they were willing to do without allowing peer pressure to force them to take risks they did not feel comfortable with. Because they were jumping in the water they took off their masks before doing so (it is not a good idea to try to breathe through a wet mask), and I had to remind them to keep their distance from each other when they had their masks off. I had not had to talk about distancing this much since the first week of the year. But they were receptive to the feedback and stepped away from each other, although they also simultaneously told me that they could not physically do so from where they were trying to jump from.
I eventually joined in on the jumping, as I’ve found that jumping from the top of the boat house is quite the thrill. Three of us in total made the leap, while another jumped off of the roof of the deck. Injuries were minimal; I got a splinter and another Learner got a small cut on his foot from jumping off the edge of the roof. The jumping took a short break when one of the Learners found a baby snapping turtle, which was bigger than the prior baby turtles we’ve found. After taking pictures and video of the turtle, and releasing it back into the lake, we got back to jumping into the lake. Then a Learner, who spent much of her day working on a comic that would be her birthday gift to her younger sister, facilitated our afternoon meeting. My take on the day was that it was really fun, there was lots of bonding, some great exercise, and we really need to fight complacency about Covid-19.
Day 21 of AY20-21: Learners share some of their thoughts on Self-Directed Education
I had met with three of the Learners in one-on-one check-ins the day before, and I had planned to meet with three other Learners on Friday. The sessions were really helpful in terms of gauging how the Learners were doing slightly more than one cycle into the year, with two of the Learners being altogether new to Abrome The sessions also provided the Learners an opportunity to share their concerns with me in a private setting, away from the other Learners. And while Katie had been talking to the Learners all week about their experiences, I had also planned for a panel on Self-Directed Education (SDE) so that Katie could benefit from a collective voice from the Learners. The weather was perfect, and I was bringing Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan. And a Learner who had been out all week, and most of the prior cycle, was finally going to be able to attend beginning on Friday. The last day of our first cycle promised to be a good one.
I showed up at the meet up location just after 9 a.m., at about the same time that Katie showed up. Katie and I began talking about what she hoped to get out of her last day, and then we started talking about some of the more challenging considerations around time and money of opening an SDE center. Most of the Learners did not show up until just before the day officially started at 10 a.m., so we were able to get into some detail before everyone showed.
Petting the Cuddle Buddies was an intention that was accomplished
As the Learners began to stream in for the day I asked them to write down their intentions, as always. Like most days the intentions were varied and included: swim (multiple times), catch up with people, write a story, pet dogs, breathe, socialize, read, play with dogs, meeting with Antonio, SDE panel for Katie, and don’t die.
Friday mornings are when we have a longish morning in terms of meetings as we have our morning meeting, set-the-week meeting, and our Check-in and Change-up meetings. One of the Learners agreed to be game master for the morning meeting and she set the conditions for the meeting, and then Katie facilitated the morning meeting. We have not done any set-the-week meetings this year given the more fluid ways we have been approaching our days, and our inability to drive Learners around town, so we moved quickly into the Check-in meeting.
Normally in the Check-in meeting we have the Learners raise awarenesses—things they think we should fix, or things they think we can add that will improve the culture of Abrome. But on this day, since half of the Learners came from my cell the previous cycle, and the other half came from Facilitator Jennifer’s cell last cycle, we also reviewed all of the awarenesses that the cells focused on during that prior cycle. We then opened up space for new awarenesses, and we came up with five of them. I believe three of them were raised by Katie or I, and two were raised by the Learners. We then moved into the Change-up meeting where anyone who wanted to stick around would help us come up with practices that we could agree on that might be able to address the awarenesses. While there is an expectation that Learners will participate in the Check-in meeting, the Change-up meeting is optional, but all Learners stuck around for the Change-up meeting on Friday. For the five awarenesses raised, we came up with nine practices that we will work on in the hopes that we can positively shift the culture of Abrome so that it better meets the needs of all Learners and Facilitators. We will revisit those practices at next Friday’s Change-up, and let go of the ones that do not work for us.
After finishing the Change-up meeting everyone decided they wanted to move toward the lake. As we began walking I told Katie that while the Check-in and Change-up meetings were led by me, that it is my hope that the Learners will take over the process entirely at some point, and that the Facilitators will only be participants. It was not long after we arrived at the lake that several of the Learners decided to build a fire. They gathered fire wood and then placed large rocks in a ring around the wood. Then they lit the fire and got lost in conversation around it. But unlike the prior times they made a fire place it did not hold their attention very long and they found that it was a burden as someone had to stay with the fire while it was burning. So they began to extinguish the fire, although I had to have a conversation with the leader of the group as to what putting a fire out entailed. After additional water was applied to eliminate smoke and embers, the Learners made their way back to the dock while I started meeting with Learners one-on-one.
Much of the rest of the day was spent in or near the water for the Learners. No, I did not get a hike in with the Learners this week. As much as I wanted to make that happen, the Learners did not. And the thing about Self-Directed Education is that I am not going to force them into it, even if I think it’d be good for them. But the other Learners did start getting in the water. First one Learner waded in for a while. Then a few jumped in. And before long, Learners were climbing onto the roof of the dock to jump in. It was joyful for the Learners, and it was fun watching some of them overcome their fear of heights.
But before we ended the day, and ended the week-long shadow for Katie, we invited the Learners to participate in the SDE panel. Katie asked some really good questions and I was pretty moved by some of the answers that the Learners gave her. Here are some highlights:
A unique seating arrangement for the SDE panel
Just because SDE may not look like learning to someone from the outside doesn’t mean it’s not learning.
They talked about how important and helpful it was that everyone at Abrome was nice, and that they did not need to worry about bullying. Several of the Learners spoke of how much they valued the other Learners at Abrome and appreciated having them as friends.
The Learners did have insecurities around being at Abrome. One of the insecurities was having to explain what Abrome is to people who were antagonistic to the freedom of SDE. Another was the fear of missing out on experiences that happen in school such as prom, arguments, and fights (!!). Another Learner said, “I could be invisible when I was in public school,” whereas at Abrome everyone knows you.
The Learners all agreed that SDE was not for everyone. In particular, those whose identity is wrapped up in being a really good student.
They all agreed that Abrome needed to grow with an ideal number of Learners ranging from 30-50. Several said they have tried to get their friends to enroll, but they also agreed that the parents of their friends were most often the reason their friends could not enroll.
They all agreed that a dog is a must have for an SDE space. (Although many of them have cats, and love cats, it was the dog that was a necessity)
After sitting in and listening to the panel, I was a bit relieved. I often see the Learners in a less than euphoric state and I take that personally. I can listen to their complaints and gripes, and attribute them to the shortcomings of Abrome, or my shortcomings in helping to contribute to a healthy culture at Abrome. I sometimes over-focus on what is not perfect, and miss what is fabulous. But listening to their responses I was reminded that the practice of freedom over extended periods of time is something that is inaccessible to most young people, and that these Learners recognize that and appreciate the opportunity to participate in it. I felt privileged to be a part of that for the Learners.
Because several of the Learners spent the panel baking away in the sun, and the panel lasted for a good while, we decided to forgo the usual afternoon roundup, and we shared some gratitudes instead. Afterward, I joined some of the Learners in jumping into the water several more times, and then we packed up and went home. A great ending to a great week.
Day 20 of AY20-21: one of those days when freedom seems perfect
A heart shaped rock
On Thursday I decided to leave Cuddle Buddies Ivan and Ingrid at Abrome because of the warm temperatures. As I arrived I checked in with Katie and we continued some the conversations we have been having during the week about Self-Directed Education, adolescents, and society. Slowly the Learners began to trickle in in much the normal way, except for the one who brought large bag that was half her size. It was an inflatable kayak. As we waited for the morning meeting to start a particularly shy Learner engaged another Learner in a conversation by asking her some questions. Then, as I was walking around, talking to Katie, I stumbled upon a rock that was shaped like a heart. I picked it up and decided that I’d share it with the Learners at the morning meeting. I had the sense that it might be a good day.
The Learners decided that we should hold the morning meeting near the lake, and the Learner with the kayak, and a backpack and guitar, asked for some assistance getting it to the lake. Another Learner and Katie jumped in to help with the process, and they traded off some of the items during the five minute walk to the lake. The Learner who offered to help moving the kayak and other equipment to the lake then offered to be the game master and facilitator for the meeting. At the meeting each of us shared our intentions, what we wanted to accomplish, and whether we thought we would successfully accomplish it by the end of the day. The responses, ranging from the serious to the not so serious, included: swimming, work on a comic, breathe, write, read, play guitar, eat, hike, kayak, and don’t die.
A game of fire keeper
I also said that I wanted to have a chance to sit down with all six Learners, separately, by the end of the week, so I wanted to speak to three Learners that day. Three Learners volunteered to meet with me at some point. After the announcements I asked the Learners if they wanted to play a game or have a conversation about something that they found interesting and timely. They chose to play a game and one of the Learners recommended that we play fire keeper, a game that he really enjoyed playing in the first cycle. The game was fun, as four Learners really dove into it, with me on the periphery playing it a little, while Katie and another Learner went to the bathroom. After about four rounds of the game interest waned and we decided to break. I then noticed a very sharp, broken off branch that was at about eye level for someone who might be just shy of five feet tall, and I asked if anyone wanted to use my Leatherman to saw it off to prevent an unfortunate accident. Two of the Learners volunteered to care of that, and when they finished they headed to the dock while I settled down on a plot of ant-free dirt.
I shouted out to one of the Learners on the dock to see if she wanted to go ahead and have the meeting with me and she said yes. This Learner had not been in my cell the prior cycle, so this week was the first time we got to be around each other since early March. And while we have been around each other this week, she had been so engaged with the other Learners and in her projects that we did not yet have an opportunity to sit down face to face to have a conversation free of distraction. During the meeting we talked about the joy she was having being back at Abrome, and the challenges of smaller cells for adolescents who crave social interaction. We also talked about future schooling options she was considering and what her hopes for Abrome this year would look like. It was great to be able to have a longer, more serious, non-Zoom, non-Discord conversation with her for the first time in over seven months.
I was surprised that the other Learners queued themselves up at a distance to also have conversation with me. Next I spoke to the oldest Learner who shared with me a poem she wrote to let me see into what was going on in her world. We had a great conversation about her place in the world and how she hopes to be treated by the world. She shared three wishes that she had for herself this year and we talked about doing more deliberate exercises such as the mission statement exercise we did a couple of days ago. The final Learner I check in with is the one I have spoken to the most since the year started, as he was in my cell last cycle. We talked about who he was feeling here, his general goals for how he would spend his time here, and about the differences between this cycle and last, for him. He also told me that he keeps a notebook in his pocket to write down ideas, which I loved.
By the time I had finished with the meetings it was already lunch time, so I dove in. Katie had spent some of her morning reading Peter Gray’s Free to Learn, and then got into a long conversation with one of the Learners I had a meeting with. Afterward she sat down and we had a conversation while each of us ate lunch.
The lizard must have enjoyed the music
Three of the Learners relocated from the dock and positioned themselves under a tree, one practicing playing her guitar, and the two others listening in. All of a sudden the music stopped and it turns out that a little green lizard was drawn in by the music and then crawled onto the Learner who was strumming her guitar. She set the guitar down and they all just admired the gumption and ease of the lizard, until the Learner decided to touch its tail and it jumped off her arm and onto a tree that it then scurried up.
At about the same time one of the Learners changed into swimming clothes and then let us know that she was going to wade into the water. While watching the Learner who went into the water, I relocated to the dock which had largely been abandoned. Slowly, the Learners came back to the the dock and before long they had set up a portable speaker and were playing music and one Learner pulled out her kayak and started to pump it up with air and assemble it. It was not long until the kayak was ready to go and the Learner had pushed off into an inlet near the dock. In the morning we talked about safety considerations, and one of the issues we discussed was what to do if the kayak capsizes. After she had paddled out to the dock area she demonstrated what it would look like to capsize, as well as how to get back into the kayak after capsizing.
With the kayaking Learner fully wet, and the wading Learner still waist deep in the lake, and with temperatures rising, another Learner decided to take the plunge. It was the Learner’s first time jumping into the lake this cycle, although she had jumped in during the previous cycle. I decided it was time for me to jump in, as well. With music still playing it was just a joyous afternoon for everyone in the cell.
Snake skin
I kept checking in with the Learners to see if anyone needed to refill their water bottles, and around 2 p.m. a Learner said she needed to. So with Katie watching the Learners who remained in the water, the Learner and I made the trek back to the meet up point to refill our bottles and then returned. On the way back we discovered a snake skin that was shed by a fairly small snake. I picked it up to share with the Learners who had stayed back. When we returned the Learner jumped back into the lake, and my eyes ventured up and I found the most curious branch of a tree that had multiple bobbers and fishing lures hanging off of it. I told the others about it, that it looked like a Christmas tree, but that did not warrant their attention.
Instead, they were trying to figure out a safe and relatively easy way to scale up onto the top of the covering of the deck. I, forgetting that I am 43 and not in the climbing shape I used to be in, was drawn into their scheming, and came up with a way to pull myself up. It wasn’t the easiest approach, and it was a fairly painful approach. But when I got to the top I had to get down, so I did what we have seen others do, and I jumped into the lake. Although it does not look like much of a jump, it was scary enough. I later went up and jumped down into the lake a second time. The Learners continued to consider different ways of scaling to the top, but opted out as the day was coming to a close. I would not be surprised if they ended up finishing the task on day twenty-one.
With about 15 minutes left before the afternoon roundup, I asked the kayaking Learner if it made sense to put it up. She enlisted the help of other Learners to bring it back to the dock where she disassembled, deflated, and packed it back in its bag. Another Learner changed out of her wet clothes, while a couple of the Learners continued to bob their heads to the music they were playing on the portable speakers. I noticed another Learner writing in a small journal, and I asked her if she had been journaling. She told me that she had spent much of the day journaling. I also found that after our mission statement exercise and prior conversations we had about jobs and college, that she had been writing out goals in the journal. I found the speed at which she got to doing so to be pretty remarkable, considering past experiences at conventional schools.
Self-Directed Education is beautiful, liberating, and invigorating in theory, and sometimes in practice. But freedom is also sometimes confusing, difficult, and scary. We live in a schooled society that tells us that children need to be controlled and told what to learn, and tested on it, and told how to act in the hopes that it will place them at the head of a race that will guarantee them financial security many years in the future. That schooled society judges us, and we too often judge ourselves, when children have the freedom to choose how to use their time, and they use that freedom in ways that do not mimic the focus on efficiency and production in service of academic success that the so-called best students in the most rigorous schools drown themselves in. And when children get to practice freedom, and they say their intention for the day is to breathe, or they are learning to navigate conflict with others, or they feel bored and seem to (in the eyes of others) waste the day away, it is too easy to second guess our trust in children. But then there are days like this one, when the benefits are so glaringly obvious that there is no way we would ever want to force children to waste their days away performing for adults in the entirely pointless game of school.
Can they play in traffic at Abrome?
Skeptic: What is Abrome?
Me: Abrome is a Self-Directed Education community in Austin, TX, that serves young people and their families. Abrome provides Learners with a psychologically safe space that is anti-oppressive and consensus based, where young people have the autonomy to engage in meaningful learning experiences and unlimited free play in a mixed-age setting.
Skeptic: Self-Directed Education? Anti-oppressive? Autonomy? What does all that mean?
Me: It means that young people get to make the decisions that are relevant to their lives. We trust that they can learn what matters most when they are surrounded by supportive people in a healthy community. Why should we make decisions for them when they are fully capable of doing it themselves? All people deserve the right to control their own lives, and children are people, too.
Skeptic: You don’t really think that children can be trusted to make their own decisions, do you?
Me: I do.
Skeptic: But they’ll make bad decisions.
Me: Of course they will. We all make bad decisions. But the way to become a good decision maker is to practice making decisions. Our society too often does not trust children to make decisions, but then expects them to make all the right ones as soon as they leave home. That’s a recipe for disaster.
Skeptic: They learn how to make good decisions by being told what is right and wrong.
Me: Do you feel adults in our society make good decisions?
Skeptic: Not all of them.
Me: Most of them? How about the politicians, do they make good decisions? Or how about the people leading multi-national corporations? How about voters? Are they making good decisions?
Skeptic: No.
Me: Didn’t most adults go to conventional schools where they were told right and wrong?
Skeptic: Maybe. But what you’re proposing is anarchy. What if they want to play in traffic? Will you let them?
Me: No.
Skeptic: Aha! So you don’t trust children!
Me: Just because I don’t let Learners play in traffic does not mean I don’t trust them. We tend to learn best through experience, and that learning sometimes entails risk. But it is reasonable to have limits on freedom. Many people do not believe that children can be trusted to use screens. I believe they can be. Many people do not believe that children can be trusted to be in public without adult supervision. I believe they can be. Many people do not believe that children can be trusted to spend their time on what interests them. I believe they can be. I am not trying to tell you where you should draw the line, but as for me, and Abrome, we are going to lean toward maximum autonomy for the Learner so long as they are not violating the autonomy of others, or posing a risk to themselves or others. At the same time, I get that this society does not trust children. That’s why there are so many schools for kids. I hope that you’ll think about the possibility that there might be better ways to help young people learn how to make good decisions considering the unimpressive track record of schooling.
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Banner image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay