Day 37 of AY20-21: one-on-one time with a Learner

I don’t know if it was a super active Monday, coming down off of the emotions of election week, or all of 2020 hitting people at the same time, but on Tuesday I started getting messages fairly early that Learners were not going to be at Abrome that day. Two decided to spend the day with their mom. One had a headache. One was up very late and was too tired to come in. One was not feeling well because of medication changes. One found out that other same aged Learners were not coming in so they stayed home. For a group of seven Learners who had been absent collectively for only two days, all of a sudden six Learners were going to be absent on day 37. The Abrome day was going to consist of just me and one other Learner.

Colorful and curious

I showed up at the drop-off location to meet a prospective Facilitator at 8 a.m., and that conversation lasted until close to 9:30 a.m. I then had some time to write some thoughts down in my journal until about 9:50 a.m. when the lone Learner for the day joined me. We did intentions, and then we talked about what we wanted to do that day. With only two of us the morning meeting took about a minute to complete, and then we spent about 20 minutes throwing rocks at larger rocks. He then showed me a leaf that he found with a bunch of colorful spheres on it. We questioned if they were seeds or some sort of eggs. We then sat on the largest rocks at the drop-off location, and he seemed to be okay with being there without other Learners. He ate from his lunch as I collected some softball sized rocks, and we debated where we wanted to spend the day, and then we walked toward the lake.

Half of the large branch, broken in pieces after falling to the ground

On the way to the lake I asked him to stop where there was a large branch hanging over the trail. I had tried to knock down the branch with two of the older Learners on Friday, but we could not get it done. With him standing back I launched the first of the large rocks toward the branch and hit it, breaking it in half. The half that broke loose was pretty sizable and it would have been pretty terrible if it had fallen on someone walking down the path. Unfortunately, the next four rocks all missed their mark, and we will need to come back to the task another day.

At the lake the Learner and I were near each other, but on most days he likes to maybe engage with me jokingly only a couple of times a day, and spends the rest of his day playing with others. But today it was just me and him. He chose to spend his time spinning in circles to see how dizzy he could make himself. I encouraged him to do it longer to see if he would fall, and then I challenged him to a race across the field. While it would not be a fair race even without him spinning, with the spinning it was laughably unfair. We both laughed at how the race played out with him doing his best just to run in a straight line.

The Learner then spent a good amount of time testing his balance around the edge of the lake, or over the lake, on retaining walls and trees, respectively. We then moved to the dock and set up and enjoyed the peculiar weather of the day. It was warm enough to feel comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt, but there was heavy cloud cover and gusts of winds that made it seem like a storm was going to break out any minute. The winds were bringing down the leaves that had changed colors on the trees all around us, and were blanketing portions of the lake. It was a pleasure just to sit and take it all in.

With no other Learners for him to play with, the lone Learner stuck around me and we talked about varying topics and observations about what was going on around us. Eventually a woman and her dog walked toward the dock and engaged us in a conversation about Austin, the part of Austin we were enjoying at that moment, and about what we were doing there in the middle of a school day. At some point in the conversation, the Learner indicated that he would be okay with going home earlier. I asked him if that meant he was asking to go home early, or if he would just be okay if his mom decided to come pick him up. He said that he would like it if I sent her a message to see if she could pick him up. We discussed the possibility that she might not be able to, and that he would need to be okay with that. He said he was. I then reached out to his mom and she agreed to pick him up at 1:45 p.m.

Suddenly finding myself with no Learners at 1:46 p.m., I returned to Abrome and contacted Facilitator Lauren and told her that now that I was no longer at the park I could take over the roundup for remote Learners that afternoon. At 3 p.m. I logged onto the meeting and proceeded to have an hour long conversation with a Learner who is not in my cell this cycle. We discussed a wide variety of topics from our dogs to the election to the likelihood that he would be well suited for several career paths.

The two of us got to enjoy this view during our one-on-one day

At 4 p.m. I wrapped up the roundup with the remote Learner and jumped on the afternoon call with Facilitator Lauren, where we talked through the happenings of the days. Then I jumped on a call with another prospective Facilitator, and then I jumped on the Agile Learning Centers book group call. By the time I got off the ALC book group call I was ready to call it a night. While I was happy to have spent some one-on-one time with just one Learner, I was hopeful that Wednesday would mark a return to lots of Learners showing up, along with all the benefits that practicing Self-Directed Education in a community of Learners brings.

Day 36 of AY20-21: learning to understand each other through play

After a long week, last week, for non-Abrome related reasons (e.g., so is this a coup?), I was better rested and fully ready for a great week at Abrome. In spite of all that was going on outside of Abrome last week, what happened inside of Abrome was pretty great. As the Learners came in on Monday morning they filled out their intentions. Some Learners think about what they want to get out of the day and put down goals: relax, read, record; dig, dig, dig; conversate with people on the dock, finish inking comic; be with dogs, eat, go to lake film, talk to [two Learners], and swim. Other Learners rush through the intention setting process: no intentions; don’t die; fire. I feel I should have a conversation with the Learners about the differences between intentions and goals, and help them consider the value of intentions as they reflect on their experiences at Abrome for a day, or longer. One of the younger Learners volunteered to facilitate the morning meeting and I asked him to try his best to stay focused on facilitating the whole meeting. He began by asking several rounds of questions of everyone, and then toward the end his focus started slipping, which is not unusual for younger Learners, so I gave him some prompts to help him wrap up the meeting.

Perhaps they were talking about the large leaf they fished out of the lake

We then walked on to the lake where the Learners broke off in groups as they had the previous day. Two of the older Learners decided to collect more pecans, and then eat them on the dock. The oldest Learner came over to where I was sitting and set up her chair, and asked if she could read a letter written by someone who is serving life in prison, who she learned about and communicated with through an activist where she lived prior to moving to Austin. It was a long letter written by the incarcerated person, and she was able to get through about one-seventh of the paper before needing to take a break. We had a couple of tangential conversations about whether life in prison for 18 year olds are ever justified, especially for someone who did not directly hurt someone else, and whether prison itself was justified. I’ve had quite a few conversations with this Learner about issues around the criminal justice system to include policing and prisons, and while we do not agree on many of the issues, we find areas of common ground that allow us to discuss ways to mitigate the harm of the system.

Every day is a good day to cuddle Cuddle Buddies

The two youngest Learners had another full day of fun hanging out with each other, playing, climbing, and digging. This included digging a cave and going in feet first, and then going in head first. The Learner who wanted to go in head first asked me to film him doing it, and in doing so I learned that he’s not claustrophobic. Meanwhile, two of the adolescents came over to hang out with Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan, and cuddle with them. Then they decided that it would be a good day to jump in the water. They jumped in shortly after 12:00 p.m., and then waded while talking to each other, singing, and splashing around. I know that I tend to stand largely still when in cold water, as did these two Learners, which gave them lots of time to talk to each other and get to know each other. Perhaps the polar bear club is all about finding uncomfortable ways to enjoy being around each other?

One of the Learners said that day and the day prior that they had been feeling not so great because of some food and drink choices (i.e., drinking Monster) they were making as well as because of some medication they were taking. They felt they needed to go home so they arranged for their parent to pick them up, and because they had carpooled with two others, all of a sudden at 1:00 p.m. our group size was cut by nearly 40%. This was really unfortunate because we are already challenged with small group sizes due to the pandemic. We currently have a maximum of seven Learners per cell to limit the potential exposure Learners and Facilitators in a cell have, as well as to help contain the disease from spreading through the Abrome community and into our local communities should someone in our community become infected. Self-Directed Education benefits most when there are others around who can bring forth their unique ideas, interests, passions, learning differences, identities, and life experiences. This is partly why many unschoolers are so intent on organizing outings; and this is why schooling, if it was not so coercive and age segregated, and if it didn’t work so hard to prevent kids from interacting with each other, could provide a great environment for learning.

Fortunately, the Learners who remained were paired off and having a blast. The younger Learners kept playing around the beach and the adolescents were still splashing around in the lake. In fact, despite the water being quite cold, the two in the lake remained in the water for over two hours straight, with one of the Learners staying in for nearly three hours. I considered jumping in the water myself but I decided that to stay on the shore with the dogs. At 3:30 p.m. we began to wrap up our day with the afternoon roundup, then made sure we were not leaving any trash behind, and made our way to the pick-up location. The Learners who remained had a blast that day, getting to know each other and further building bonds. In fact, one Learner confided in me that another Learner was “the only one who understands me.”

Good conversation while standing in cold water

Day 35 of AY20-21: creating a stronger culture, together

The first week of our third cycle was a lot for many of us. The election that some of us had feared would be a black swan event had exhausted us long before election day, and as expected, election night amped everything up. At least by Friday it looked like the worst possible outcomes were not going to materialize. It seemed that a sizable proportion of the voting population was coming to terms with the outcome, and much of the rest of the country/world was cautiously letting their guard down hoping that things were going to start getting back to a sense of normalcy in the coming months. Although it needs to be said that the old normal was violently oppressive to many populations, and it would be nice if we could to fighting for the liberation of all people.

Friday the exhaustion was palpable, even among the Learners who do not follow politics. The intentions the Learners set seemed to reflect that: don’t die, freetopia, freetopia, talk to [two Learners], relax, chill, cuddle with dogs, pet the dogs, record, drink Monster, dig, to have no intentions, and maybe swim.

Being Friday I tried to make the morning meeting as short as possible as I expected that we would need to settle into longer Check-in and Change-up meetings, and I was right. Four awarenesses were raised that morning, with two of them being the standard awarenesses of masking/social distancing and drinking water. Two other awarenesses were raised, one about how much time we were spending at the lake, and the other a concern about a name that some of the Learners came up with for a turtle that we always see on our walks to and from the lake. The awareness about the time at the lake was universally shot down in terms of it needing to be added to the Community Awareness Board, and there was just a general agreement that we would be mindful of the wants of people who may not want to spend all day, every day at the lake.

The other proposed awareness took a long time to work out. The name the Learners came up with was ‘disabled turtle,’ as it would always sun on a tree with it’s legs stretched out behind it. It may have in fact been disabled, and the name seemed descriptive, but one of the Learners pointed out that it seemed inappropriate. The Learner was alone in her position, with some of the other Learners thinking it was fine because it was not made with ill-intent, and many of the other Learners not caring about the issue. The Learners who sometimes used the nickname for the turtle made clear that they were not doing it to be mean, and that it was done in fun and that as it was a descriptive name that no one should be offended by it. But the Learner who raised the awareness did not waiver, and we eventually shifted the conversation to the use of ableist language, and how even with good intent how sometimes the language that we use can be harmful. Particularly when we aspire to be a anti-oppressive, psychologically safe community. Eventually the Learners who were opposed to adding the awareness to the Community Awareness Board were persuaded by the arguments, and they agreed to the practices of calling the turtle by a different name (Greginald, a compromise between Greg and Reginald) and to be mindful to not use ableist language. I was super proud of the willingness of the Learners to challenge their own beliefs, and to be open to shifting their choice of words, and I was especially proud of the courage of the Learner who raised the issue.

That branch was a threat that we couldn’t bring down

By the time we finished the Friday meetings we were already an hour into the day, so the Learners made a beeline for the lake. Much of the rest of the day was standard socialization and play. Two Learners jumped in the water and enjoyed each other’s company, two Learners began to re-dig their hot tub, and two others continued their various forms of play along the lakeside. The oldest Learner, who just joined the community this year, approached me to have a discussion about what it would mean to “graduate” from a Self-Directed Education community like Abrome. After the conversation she focused on taking pictures and recording video for her YouTube channel.

During the day I called on two of the older Learners to try to help me dislodge a large, loose branch that was hanging over the trail to the lake. I feared that the branch which seemed to have broken loose from above, and got caught on the way down, could eventually fall on someone’s head. We considered throwing rocks and sticks at it, and also tying off a rock or a stick to twine that would hopefully catch the branch so we could pull it down. While we were trying to prevent someone from getting seriously hurt, we had to be mindful that maybe throwing rocks up into the air was not all that safe either. So we made sure that we were all well positioned and paying full attention each time something went up in the air. We tried for a long time, but ultimately our efforts failed. We will probably come back to attempting to bring it down at a later date.

As the day was coming to an end the older Learners needed to fill in the hole they dug. Filling in a hole is easier than digging it, just as walking down a hill is typically easier than climbing up it. But it was still hard work, and one of the younger Learners decided to led a hand to help them complete the job. We then held our afternoon meeting on the dock, with one Learner volunteering to be the game master and another the facilitator. As the meeting ended a young Learner who typically presents as unemotional turned away from everyone and began to cry. Immediately the other Learners jumped into action asking him what was wrong (he dropped his water bottle into the lake and it was drifting away) and they assured him that they would retrieve the bottle for him. It was beautiful seeing all the Learners concerning themselves with the needs of the youngest Learner, and seeing how this community continues to jell across ages.

Day 34 of AY20-21: but what about socialization?

Sometimes when families are considering homeschooling they get the question, “but what about socialization?” The argument is that schooling is where children become socialized, and taking them out of school will deny them that opportunity. There are many problems with this argument, of which I’ll quickly highlight three of them.

The first problem is that there is very little socialization that happens at school. There is lots of socialization that may happen around school (e.g., coming to school, in between classes, lunch, extracurriculars, leaving school), but schooling is about schooling, and schooling is decidedly anti-socialization. In school, students are expected to be good students, which means not socialization with one another.

If this is socialization, schooling is problematic.

The second problem is that the practices and structures of schooling promote behaviors that are anti-social. Schooling is about testing, grading, and ranking students against one another. It is a race to the top where there is limited room for winners, but there is plenty of room for losers everywhere below the top. In fact, you cannot have winners if you don’t have losers in a competitive game—one must create losers to anoint winners. What schools squander in their game of pitting students against each other or against arbitrary standards is the opportunity to promote empathy, collaboration, conflict resolution, self-regulation, teamwork, and a sense of self-efficacy.

The third problem is that schools operate nothing like society, at least the functional parts of society that uplift people and allow them to lead meaningful lives. So the behaviors one must develop to do well in schooling do not translate over to broader society. For example, in broader society we should be able to interact with people old and young. In schools students are typically stuck in rooms with children all the same age. In broader society we should be able to interact with people who are different than us. Schools literally wall children off fro those who are different than them: children not their age, adults, people with learning differences, and people outside of their segregated school zones. Schools limit students’ universe of daytime interactions to same-aged students from largely homogenous communities in a competitive atmosphere.

So what does this have to do with my daily blog about Abrome during this pandemic year? Three of the seven Learners in my cell listed some form of socialization on their daily intentions: get to know people, hang out, and maybe talk to [a specific Learner].

Some Learners are eating pecans while other Learners are deep in conversation.

When all the Learners had arrived I began the morning meeting with a series of questions that would allow me to get to know them better, and that would help them better know each other. The most serious question was ‘how do you want to be treated at Abrome?’ The responses centered around respectfully, fairly, and kindly. After the morning meeting we made our way back to the lake where two Learners positioned themselves on the dock, two Learners went looking for pecans to harvest, and two Learners began shoveling holes in the sandy beach. The Learner who had intended to ‘get to know people’ then made her way to the dock to be around the two Learners who positioned themselves there, including the Learner who had an intention to ‘maybe talk to [the Learner who joined them on the dock].’ I was not close enough to observe how the conversations began, but soon enough they were all engaged in “awesome conversations” as one Learner later relayed to me.

The older Learners came back to the beach after collecting pecans and began breaking them open and eating them. I appreciated that they kept their masks on while doing so, lifting them just slightly to take in a pecan at any given time. They offered me one and I ate it, and they tasted just like they do when I buy them from the bulk section of the grocery store. As I walked away they continued to ‘hang out,’ which was the intention of one of the Learners.

The two younger Learners continued to dig their holes as deep as they could, which was complicated by the lake pushing sand back into their holes. One of the older Learners reminded one of them to wear their shoes if they were going to dig with the shovel, or to dig from their knees, practices that we highlighted at the beginning of the day when that Learner arrived with shovels. When the younger Learners tired of the digging, the older Learners asked if they could borrow the shovels to dig a large hole that would double as a hot tub. While most of this part of west Austin is a tiny sliver of topsoil on top of limestone, they happened to find a spot that was mostly sand and they dug quite deep until they ran out of energy. It was a great workout and a great bonding experience for them. Note: all Learners refilled their holes by the end of the day.

While the Learners were digging, they were stacking the sand on a pile next to the hole. The two younger Learners found it fun to run through the pile in between each shovel of sand was moved. The older Learner who was digging patiently waited each time to make sure that the Learners cleared out of the space he was throwing the sand so that he did not hurt one of the younger Learners. The six-year-old Learner recognized that their fun was creating a minor inconvenience for someone else, even though the older Learner was okay with the inconvenience. In a show of self-regulation and leadership, the younger Learner decided that it was best to simply stop the inconvenience and turned to the other Learner and said, “we’re making the process slower for [the Learner who was digging], let’s stop.”

These two friends decided to take a cold dip.

Toward the end of the day, the two Learners who wanted to be more social decided they wanted to jump in the lake. It was a cold plunge in the lake, but they did it together, so that took away some of the sting of the cold water. I decided that I should take advantage of jumping in the lake, as well, considering that there may not be many more days of swimming left as we go deeper into the fall. I chose not to touch the cold water to prevent myself from changing my mind, and jumped in from the roof of the dock for good measure. It was really cold.

By the afternoon roundup it seemed that everyone was really happy with how the day played out. Although we are operating in small, physically distant, age-mixed cells during the pandemic, which limits the number of people each Learner can interact with each day (because pandemic), it would be absurd to argue that they would have more opportunities for socialization in a conventional setting, whether that setting was online during the pandemic, in-person during the pandemic, or in-person during non-pandemic times. At Abrome the process of socialization is not directed; it is organic, in an anti-oppressive, consensus based community that centers the needs of each Learner.

But what about socialization?

Day 33 of AY20-21: a post-election energy kind of day

Like many others, I lost sleep on election night. I tried to go to bed at 8:00 p.m., but I did not fall asleep until around 10:00 p.m., and then woke up in the middle of the night just as Trump was claiming victory, and then went back to sleep until I woke up just after 4:00 a.m. I skipped my morning run, opting instead to take care of some administrative tasks that were on a deadline, and then wrote up what happened on day 32 for this blog. I spoke to the guardian of and one of the Learners from the other cell who questioned if she should attend that day, as she had a temperature that was a bit elevated, but was under our cutoff of 99.6 degrees Fahrenheit. After confirming that she cleared our screening process she decided to stay home just in case. I was running a bit behind so I rushed out the door to get to the drop-off location, and then got to slow down once I arrived. Every day I write my intentions, as well. My intentions were to be rested, have conversation with Learners, stay hydrated, take pics/vids, think, and have separate conversations about specific topics with two of the older Learners. Then the Learners started trickling in.

It seemed that the Learners may have also been tired from the night before based on their intentions: have fun, have no intentions, don’t die, don’t die, eat, eat lunch, freetopia, and find a new stick. I asked if anyone wanted to be the game master and a new Learner volunteered. She set the conditions for the meeting and then facilitated it as well. She gave us a prompt to reply to, chose two truths and a lie as a get to know you activity, and asked everyone what their intentions for the ay were. Then we discussed where we would spend the morning. They had previously agreed to spend the prior day at the lake and this day away from the lake to meet the needs of Learners who wanted a break from the lake. So after some short discussion on where they would prefer to go they settled on the large rocks at the top of the hill that look out over the river, with a view of the entire valley. One Learner needed to go to the bathroom so we broke into two groups, with the teenagers taking responsibility for getting everyone to the top of the hill while I joined the Learner who needed to take a detour to the bathroom.

When I arrived a the top of the hill I found one Learner laid out on a yoga mat, two chatting on one rock, and two others looking for sticks to swing around. One of the older Learners then asked me for a walkie talkie so that he could go looking for prickly pear fruit. One Learner found a spot and settled in to ink her comics, while another Learner looked for a spot where he could sit and think. The two younger Learners came together and began beating old sticks they found against the rocks, then climbing the remnants of a dead tree, and then using a small pine tree as a catapult to launch sticks and rocks downhill. The Learner who went looking for prickly pear fruit came back, and then decided to go on a hike. The other older Learner then borrowed a walkie talkie and went off to join the other on his hike. I spent my time at the top of the hill communicating with Facilitator Lauren, checking in on the Learners at the top of the hill, and reminding two Learners about our masking and distancing practices.

I tried to take a selfie with two Learners. Failed.

At around 1:00 p.m., the Learners discussed the possibility of going to the lake and they all agreed that they wanted to do so. We stopped at the drop-off location on the way there to refill our water bottles, and I was pleased to find that three Learners had drank enough to require refills, as that is one of the practices we highlighted on Monday. At the lake everyone settled into their usual locations: three on the dock, one under a tree, and two playing on a small beach (one Learner stayed home).

For me, the day would have been a good one to bring a book, because the Learners were not eager to have conversation with me and I did not have the energy to offer up any games or activities. But that morning I felt that my energy levels did not warrant bringing a book. I did ask some of the Learners who lingered around me at one point if they wanted to talk about anything, and in particular about the election, but they passed on it. Two of the Learners were super high energy, digging in the sand, creating imaginary king mud ball world, climbing trees over the water, and throwing mud at each other. One of the new Learners asked another Learner about her comic, and they got into a nice long conversation that spanned much of the afternoon. They later exchanged numbers so they could continue the conversation via chat. At one point a Learner asked to go back to the drop-off location to refill her water bottle, meaning four of six Learners were staying hydrated, and helping to make sure that the intentions of don’t die were met because “hydrate or die.” Another Learner jumped in the lake for the first time. It was cold but it was alright.

At the end of the day I led the afternoon roundup on the dock, 15 minutes early as a Learner needed to be picked up early. I led with the question “why are you here?” The first response was, “because it’s time for the afternoon roundup.” True, so I elaborated and asked, “why are you here at Abrome, as opposed to at school or being homeschooled?” Most of the Learners highlighted how school was not working for them. How it was a place where they were told they were not smart, or trouble makers, or where other kids would shun or bully them. One Learner who was previously homeschooled said it was in response to her request to have more freedom. I found the responses informative. While some of the Learners sometimes complain about being at the lake, or being away from the lake, or being outdoors when it is hot or cold, or being in small groups, they each expressed appreciation for being able to have control over their time, and over at least the education aspect of their lives. I wanted to be able to bottle up some of the responses to give back to them when they are upset with the composition of the cells or on meeting on a cold day, but just hearing their responses gave me a bit more energy on a day that I did not have much of it. One of the Learners then asked me what Abrome meant, so I went into my story of how I came up with the name of our community five years ago. I then asked the Learners what was the highlight of their day, how we all did on our practices, and if they had any announcements for the group. And then we headed back to the pick-up location and on the way I had one of my planned conversations with two of the older Learners. Because we arrived at the pick-up location early, we had lots of time to sit around and talk with each other while waiting for rides to arrive. Older and younger Learners talked about YouTube videos, how to make and monetize them, which channels they watch the most, and how the channels have evolved over time.

When all the Learners had been picked up I had my daily check-in with Facilitator Lauren. Our check-ins this week have all lasted 20 to 40 minutes in length, as we dive deep into how we are facilitating during different scenarios and situations. We recapped our day, discussed challenges that some of the Learners were facing, as well as some mindsets that were limiting a couple of the Learners. We discussed ways to approach conversations with some of the Learners, and how to address some fears and misconceptions that reside within the community. By the time we ended the call we each had new priorities for some of the conversations we would be having with Learners in the coming days.

Day 32 of AY20-21: election day experiences

Tuesday was election day, so I was not quite sure what to expect from the Learners. I imagined that many of them, or at least their families, were quite anxious about what was to come, and I wanted to find ways to provide space for the Learners to process and express their feelings. But while I thought that the day might be a lot, the intentions they wrote suggested that maybe I was a day too early in my worries. The intentions for the day included: write a story, eat, eat, drink, crochet, not have intentions, don’t die, pet dogs, listen to music, dig a hole, film, chill, ink comic, and feel water.

I asked them if they were willing to move away from the drop-off location for the morning meeting and after a back and forth, they decided that they would move to the small field next to an old house. When we got there I introduced the human spectrum activity where we arranged ourselves in groups or on a spectrum according to our similarities and differences. Some of the Learners were not interested in it, and that feeling quickly spread to everyone else. Three of them said they needed to go to the bathroom, even. It was a really great example of when one person expresses or projects a sentiment, how it can shift the attitudes of others. This example holds in small groups such as ours, as well as in presidential elections.

Before we ended the meeting we needed to decide where we would go to spend our day. There were some varied opinions in the group. It came as no surprise that several Learners wanted to go to the lake. But two Learners wanted to move away from the lake for a change. One wanted to head up the hill to a spot that had a great view of the lake and all the hills around us. Another wanted to go to the waterfall. The Learners who wanted to go to the lake said we should just vote on it. At that point I interceded and reminded them that we can come to collective decisions without resorting to votes which would have ignored the needs of the Learners who wanted a break from the lake. So the Learners began to explain their preferences. One did not want to go uphill because their feet were hurting them. Two of them wanted to go to the lake to dig holes in the sand with the shovels one of them brought. One wanted to feel the lake water. One who wanted to go to the waterfall said that they would just go with whatever everyone else wanted, but that they would enjoy going on a hike. And the one who wanted to go up the hill said that they did not appreciate how hot they got the day before by the lake where there was minimal cover from the sun. They decided that it made sense to go to the lake for the day, but that they would commit to going away from the lake on Wednesday. It was a great example of consensus decisions making that acknowledged the needs of each Learner, and left no Learner feeling like their voice did not matter just because they were not in the majority.

The lake is a draw for most Learners

On the way to the lake we stopped at the bathroom where one of the Learners found a quick moving fuzzy black caterpillar. Then we moved onto the lake where everyone began to settle in. I asked the two oldest Learners to chat with me real quickly where I asked them to reflect on the way they approached participating in the human spectrum activity, and how they have an outsized influence on how younger Learners may choose to participate. I thanked them for listening to me, and then I set out a water bowl for Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan who were joining us for the first time that cycle.

There were some young children at the park who began chatting with me and we got into a long conversation where I ran with some of their joking and insisted that I was an alien from another planet. It was a fun conversation where we discussed what makes one an alien, to include how if I was an alien, then they were aliens to me! I also rejected their demands that I needed to accept the ways in which humans make sense of the universe which sent their wheels spinning. When the kids left, another Learner approached me and apologized for the way that she responded to the morning meeting. I do not know if she did so because of the way I expressed myself at the meeting, if it was something I said to her in particular, or if she was just reading the room. But I appreciated it. And then everything returned to normal.

Laying in the sun with Cuddle Buddy Ivan

For the two Learners who were in my cell for the first time this year, Tuesday was also their first time being with the Cuddle Buddies. And one of them really took to Ingrid and Ivan. She came over to get to know the dogs and in the process we got to know each other. Meanwhile, the Learners who wanted to dig did a lot of digging on the beach. We did discuss the importance of wearing shoes if they were going to be digging with the shovels, and I asked them to shovel on their knees if they were not going to wear shoes. I had to remind them of this agreement a few times but it eventually clicked.

Experimenting with making videos

One of the older Learners did not show up on Tuesday, which left another one of the older Learners looking for something to do. In their boredom, they decided that they would go looking for pecans to harvest and eat. Meanwhile, a Learner who brought a camera stand to make some videos got into conversation with another Learner about creating videos for social media, and soon they were discussing ways they could collaborate on making the videos. One of the Learners then experimented with making time-lapse videos of passing boats, while the other chose to lay in the sun with the dogs. Another Learner spent much of her day continuing to diligently ink the comics that she has been working on for a while, although she took a break to place fake poop next to my bag as a joke.

Is this the beginning of prank season?

Mid-afternoon, I checked in with the Learners to see if they needed to refill their water bottles. Two of them said they did so we trekked back to the drop-off location with the Cuddle Buddies to top off. When I returned, the older Learner who was picking pecans had a short conversations with me, and then I pulled out my Rubik’s cube to play with it a bit. And before I knew it the day was coming to an end. At the afternoon roundup we did rose-bud-thorn to reflect on our day, and we closed out the meeting with the number game. In the number game we need to count from one to fifteen, with no person saying two numbers in a row, and if two people speak at the same time we have to start over as a group. It is not too difficult if only a few people are playing, but when there are seven people, it is not easy. In our experience the number game is often slow, and never fast. But this time, they flew through it without skipping a beat. We were finished in about ten seconds. We then cleaned up our space and made our way to the pick-up location. There, the rides of two Learners were waiting. But with the other four Learners still sitting around, one of them said they enjoyed how effortlessly we did the number game and asked if we could do it again. We did, with a few restarts, and then an older Learner suggested we play the I-game, where we make a story as a group, one word at a time. It was a really nice counter to the activity at the beginning of the day, and a great way to end the day at Abrome.

Day 31 of AY20-21: Cycle three begins

The first day of our third cycle was bittersweet.

The sweet: Being able to be together again for the third of eleven planned cycles for this academic-plandemic year is something to celebrate. Just last week, a record 61,000 children got Covid-19 last week. Pediatric cases have gone from 2% of all cases in the United States in April to 11%, now. Bringing students, teachers, and staff together indoors will contribute to the spread of Covid-19 within the school community, but school members will take Covid-19 back into their homes and into their local communities. Reopening schools is contributing to the harm of the pandemic. To protect the Abrome community, and the Central Texas community, we decided to take Abrome outdoors, in small, physically distant cells of no more than seven Learners, each. We knew that doing so would be challenging for some Learners because of unfavorable weather (e.g., rain, heat, cold) and lack of the comforts of being indoors (e.g., air conditioning, heating, electricity), as well as for some families as they needed to drive longer distances to drop their Learners off at various public spaces. We also knew that our approach would make it more challenging to bring in new Learners when so many are looking for either an in-school (sometimes without masks) or a remote option. So by having all of our Learners able to come together with us as we started our third cycle, and having real hope that we will begin adding more Learners soon, day 31 was sweet.

The bitter: Unfortunately, as we started the third cycle of the year we did so without Facilitator Jennifer, who has decided move on from Abrome to find opportunities that are a better fit for them. Losing Jennifer is tough, as they have been such a force in helping us improve our culture and prepare us for growth during the pandemic in a way that will help us be a safer place for all children well into the future. Facilitator Lauren and I both decided that we would make space for Learners to process the news on Monday, as well as throughout the week. We hope that Jennifer will be able to come back and visit us, and celebrate with us as our community continues to grow stronger thanks in part to the contributions they made.

The day: This cycle I have seven Learners in my cell. Five of the Learners I have had in my cell before, and two of them are in my cell for the first time. I am excited to get to spend time for the first time with the two new Learners who joined Abrome in September. The cell has Learners who range in age from six to eighteen, with four boys and three girls, and two sets of siblings. They come from the local neighborhood, Austin, Bee Cave, and Lakeway.

As the Learners joined me at the drop-off location they filled out their intentions. There was a mix of excitement and anxiety as some Learners met each other for the first time. The intentions were varied: don’t be cold, explore new space, play games, listen to music, don’t die, play with toys, meet new peoples, write, nothing, drink water, stay off phone, work on comic book, eat, chill, eat, chill, play, relax, and work on comic book. When we all arrived I suggested that we move elsewhere for our morning meeting considering that some folks have gotten chigger bites at that location in the past, and the group decided that we would go to a nice grassy area under a bunch of large pecan trees.

The best seats in the house!

At the pecan trees we spread out and began a long morning meeting. We started with introductions and some get to know you questions. We spoke about Jennifer’s departure and provided an opportunity for Learners to share their feelings. Then we covered safety boundaries. We also discussed our needs as individuals and as a group, our intentions as individuals and as a group, and practices we wanted to focus on (masking, social distancing, and drinking water). When the meeting was over the Learners all gravitated toward the lake. Immediately two of the older Learners climbed up onto the roof of the dock, and then a young Learner followed behind. At the top the young Learner got to play some games on the phone of one of the older Learners who he just met an hour ago. Another younger Learner scaled up toward the roof several times but always stopped just shy of getting to the top due to fear. I expect that this fear will be overcome later this week.

Navigating the wall

I set up my chair in the field under a tree, while another Learner set up under a cypress tree nearby and began working on her comics, which she did for the full day. The younger Learner came back down from roof of the dock and found his way to the sandy beach area where he began to dig with his hands. He assured me that he could dig a very deep hole, and then proceeded to prove it to me. This drew out the other younger Learner who also began digging aggressively. They then eventually moved on to navigating across the most treacherous part of the retaining wall where it slopes toward the lake at a 45 degree angle. Two of the older Learners came over and borrowed a walkie talkie to go on a walk together.

An older Learner came over and engaged me in a conversation that lasted an hour. We discussed a wide variety of topics, from the very personal to reality television. At the end of the conversation she said that she had hoped to get her driver’s license and I asked what was stopping her. She said she did not know where to start and I suggested she go to the Texas Department of Public Safety website where the information was listed. She thanked me and left.

The two Learners who went on a walk returned, and told me that they had collected and ate a bunch of pecans while on their walk. I asked how their stomachs felt, and they said that they felt fine. I saw one of the new Learners doing somersaults and other routines in the middle of the field, so I asked her, have you taken gymnastics lessons? She said she had, as well as her brother. We had a short conversation about that, and got to get to know each other a little bit before she went back to the dock to listen into what the teenagers were talking about.

At some point one of the Learners came over toward me and said, “Antonio, I need to talk to you about something.” He said that he noticed his sister was looking up how to get a driver’s license, and he wanted to get started on the process as well, and he wanted to know how to do so. We talked briefly about looking it up online, he searched for TXDPS on his phone, and found the link that would take him through the steps needed.

Although the day started out cold (it was 45 degrees on my morning run), by mid-afternoon it was feeling pretty warm, with the sun beating down on us. I did not bring a towel to jump in the water as I assumed I would be too busy during the day, but a younger Learner asked if he could jump in, and he jumped in. Several Learners said they would possibly jump in on Tuesday.

Then I got a call from the mom of two prospective Learners. Having time to take the call, I chatted with her for over a half an hour about how we prioritize the autonomy of children over the adultish and schoolish ways of manipulating children, our approach to the pandemic, whether it is ever too late in a young person’s academic career to embrace Self-Directed Education, and the current space we had for new Learners. It was a really wonderful conversation, as it seems that the family is ready to embrace a more liberatory path for their children. When I hung up the phone it was clear that several of the Learners were zeroed in on me. One of them asked, “are we adding to the army?” I laughed, and said maybe, but maybe we could not consider ourselves an army. Let’s build our community instead of fighting with others.

At the afternoon roundup we shared what the best part of our day was, something that we learned that day, how we did on the practices we raised earlier that day, and we got a thumb check on how the day went overall. The funniest lesson learned that day was that it is a good idea not to walk to the bathroom barefoot because it is surrounded by sticker burs. The most moving lesson learned was from the Learner I spent an hour talking with earlier in the day. She said that for the first time, she could finally accept who she is. That was definitely the sweetest part of the day.

Scaling the fence

Day 30 of AY20-21: already finished with two (of eleven) pandemic year cycles

Forecasted thunderstorms mandated our first half-day of the year

Friday was the final day of the second cycle of this first full pandemic academic year. My body was still recovering from the fall I took running the retaining wall on Monday, so I opted for a gentle morning walk with Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan instead of a run. I then checked the weather forecast and saw that thunderstorms were forecasted for the afternoon, so I called for a 1:00 p.m. early pickup for the first time this year. I updated the website, then sent messages to families via email and text, and updated the internal Facebook group and posted the change on Discord. After jumping on a zoom call for a writing session, I grabbed the Cuddle Buddies and all of my equipment and got out the door to get to the drop-off point early. When I arrived at the park I laid out my equipment and pulled out the Rubik’s cube I wanted to solve. I had printed out a guide that talked about the various algorithms that can be used to solve it, and I focused on memorizing the first couple of steps.

The first Learner to show up for the day showed up in a Halloween outfit. I had gotten a Discord message informing me that multiple Learners may dress up for our last day, but I had been so busy that morning I did not remember to pull together an outfit. I did not know what the Learner chose to dress up as, as other Learners began to filter in for the day. Two Learners got a stern look from the Learner who had dressed up when showed up without an outfit. One of the Learners assured her that he had an outfit in his bag, and that he would put it on later.

With the day being so short, only three hours instead of six, I wanted to get through the morning meeting and Check-in and Change-up meetings as quickly as possible. The Learners set limited intentions to go with the limited time we had for the day: swim, pet the dogs, socialize, ink, comic, meeting with Antonio, write, freetopia (twice), don’t die, and vibe. Ingrid chewed through her leash during the morning meeting.

After the morning meeting we went into the Check-in and Change-up where we did not retire the two awarenesses we were working on, but we did have a long debate over whether or not to add an awareness of people getting too close to each other during Covid-19. This conversation touched upon the risk of transmission if two people are in each other’s bubble with masks, and when they touch each other. The conversation also led into questions of informed consent. Specifically, if the Learners are not being vigilant about distancing (they are good on masking) should they be informing their family members so that they understand the added risk the Learners are taking on? The answer is yes. Although the awareness was not added to the Community Awareness Board, I expect that it will be revisited in the next cycle.

Spending some quality time with the Cuddle Buddies before the next cycle

We decided to spend our half day at the lake, and when we arrived everyone took up their usual spots. I reminded two Learners that we needed to meet for check-ins. The check-ins were short, with me just sharing one observation and asking them about preferences for the next cycle. One Learner wanted to maximize her time with Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan in case she was not in my cell for the next cycle. Over the next hour and a half she asked me lots of questions about the particular habits and histories of each dog, and then asked me to take a picture to post on Instagram.

Persephone

When I dropped by the dock to check on the other Learners, I saw the outfit the other Learner brought to wear. He did not want me to take a picture of his outfit, but the Learner who showed up in an outfit later did. When I asked what the outfit represented she told me it was Persephone. As I sat back down, with each Learner being fully engaged in their own thing, or in conversation with one another, I went back to toying around with the Rubik’s cube. With the guide I was able to solve it, finally.

Finally solved the Rubik’s cube

And all of a sudden the day, and the cycle was coming to a close. With so little time left it was apparent the Learners were not eager to shave off any time for the afternoon roundup. So we decided to do the afternoon roundup on the walk back to the pick-up location to save a bit of time. Halfway into the walk I stopped everyone and asked them to share one gratitude about anything they are thankful for in life. While there are always going to be bumps along the way in any community that centers the autonomy and needs of Learners, because freedom is messy, especially during a pandemic and away from the comforts of the indoors, I was touched by the gratitudes that were raised. Every one of them was gratitude for the other Learners at Abrome, or for their opportunity to be at Abrome. I hope they carry that with them into the next cycle.

Day 29 of AY20-21: feelings were had, I offered to lend an ear

Thursday would be the penultimate day of the cycle for us, and I was hoping that it would be a joyful day. Unlike the prior day it looked like everyone was going to be present, and on time, and I was looking forward to meeting with most of the Learners for a quick check-in. After I arrived at the drop-off location in the morning, I filled out my intentions and then jumped on a call with the other Facilitators to discuss how we were going to approach the day in light of some challenges both cells had the prior day. As I was talking Learners slowly started dropping in and filling out their intentions: read, play guitar, hang out at the dock, ink comic, pet dogs, write, socialize, freetopia, don’t die, get to know people, drink water.

I invited the Learners into a shaded area that we do not usually hold our meetings at and we began the morning meeting. It was obvious that at least one of the Learners was having a really bad morning, and multiple Learners were subdued and not eager to engage fully in the meeting. I was not quite sure what was bothering the Learners but I gave them space to state how they were feeling that morning, and if they needed anything form the community. I then read a Washington Post article about the CDC’s expanded Covid-19 definition of who a “close contact,” and provided the Learners some prompts so we could discuss Covid practices. Because of the feelings that some of the Learners were holding it was not much of a discussion so I adjourned the meeting.

While most of the Learners wanted to go to the lake, I requested that we try somewhere else for the morning, as some Learners have had some lapses with Covid practices recently. They suggested we go to the small waterfall that was relatively nearby, and we broke into two groups, one that went immediately there and one that made a stop at the bathroom on the way.

After the bathroom stop, when I arrived at the small waterfall with two other Learners, we saw three Learners trying to fish a toy out of the water near the waterfall. They eventually succeeded, and those of us who recently arrived set up in different locations. I had the Cuddle Buddies with me so I tried to find a place near the stream so they could drink water. One Learner found a large rock to sit on under the shade of some trees so she could ink her comic. One of the Learners asked for a walkie talkie so that he could go on a hike. I asked if anyone was going with him, and there was an awkward moment as three other Learners thought about and then opted into going, as well. I asked what time they would return by and they said 1:00 p.m.

It was a restful, slower morning at the waterfall

I had my Education Conversations book group to attend that evening and I had not finished reading the first three chapters of Diana Senechal’s Republic of Noise, so I broke it out and began to read. One of the Learners who stayed back eventually engaged me in conversation, talking about NFL football teams and about a lawsuit that was filed against the handlers of BEVO, the University of Texas mascot. When the Learner decided to read her book, the other Learner walked over and asked me if she could take care of Cuddle Buddy Ivan.

Soon enough some of the Learners came back, but not all of them. Eventually they all came back, and there was still tension in the air. I asked a couple of the Learners if everything was alright, and they said yeah, so I let it go. One Learner then asked for a walkie talkie so that she could take off again, and I reminded her that I was checking in with everyone that day. She asked if she could instead meet with me the next day, and I said that would work for me. I asked if anyone was going with her and she shrugged, and another Learner asked if he could join her. She said yes and they took off. Then another Learner asked if we could all go down to the lake, and I said that he could check in with everyone to see if they wanted to. Two said they would rather stay at the waterfall a bit longer, so he asked if he could take a walkie talkie and go down to the lake with another Learner. I said that we would join him in an hour or so.

When we got down to the lake, around 2:00 p.m., after a stop to refill water, we did not see any of the Learners. But within ten minutes all the Learners converged on the lake, and the Learners took up their usual spots on the dock or under the trees. But again, some of the Learners were distant with each other, facing away from each other and not interacting even as they shared the dock. I then started calling over Learners one by one for our check-ins. The check-ins were short. I just wanted to review a bit from the previous day and ask them about their preferences for the next cycle. For each person that came over I offered to listen if they wanted to work through any of their feelings. All of them passed on that.

Slowly, as I worked through the check-ins, the Learners on the dock began to interact as usual, again. They started to turn toward each other, and talk, and play. By the end of the day the Learner feelings that hung like a cloud over the earlier half of the day had dissipated, and at the same time the clouds above opened up and the sun came down hard on us. The heat led me to take Cuddle Buddies Ingrid and Ivan into the lake for some swimming so that they did not overheat. And before I knew it, it was 3:30 p.m. and time for our afternoon roundup. At the afternoon roundup I asked how everyone was feeling and how it differed from the morning, and everyone said they were feeling better than they were that morning. I asked what they wanted to make out of their last day at Abrome for the cycle and the general consensus was just to hang out and have fun. The two Learners who seemed to be having the hardest time in the morning looked at each other and each said, “play guitar.”

Day 28 of AY20-21: finding moments of appreciation and joy in difficult days

Each morning I wake up at 5:00 a.m., and three days a week I go for a run, and five days a week I write something (like this blog post), and then I do a bunch of hurried administrative work, and then I run out the door to get to the pre-designated drop-off location at just about 9:30 a.m. when the Learners are expected to begin arriving at Abrome. In order to make this all work I need to plug in my phone, battery pack, and walkie talkies every evening so they are fully charged; change out the water in the water jug; pack lunch; and pack my rucksack. On Tuesday night I realized that my entire backside was bruised and the very stiff neck and legs that I had were probably from the fall I took while trying to run the retaining wall on Monday. By the time I woke up on Wednesday I was feeling even worse, and it seemed as though a run was not in the cards for me on Wednesday morning. So instead, I got to writing earlier than normal.

At 6:50 a.m., I took the Cuddle Buddies out for a walk because Wednesday looked to be a very busy day, and I was going to be carrying a chair and guitar, in addition to my rucksack, so I would be leaving Ivan and Ingrid back at Abrome. I came across a boy standing in the dark at an intersection two blocks into my walk, with his parent sitting in an SUV next to him. I said to him, “it’s mighty early to be going to school, isn’t it?” He said, dejectedly, “yeah.” I texted my friend Kate, who I meet up for a zoom writing group three days a week, that I was going to be a bit late for our usual meet up. When I got back I logged on and tried to wrap up my writing that I felt I was pretty much finished with so I could work on some advertising work for Abrome. But Parkinson’s law held true, and even though I felt I was 90% done with my task, I spent much of the next hour finishing up my last ten minutes of work. I did eventually get around to doing the advertising work, but not enough as I had to rush off for my Abrome day shortly after 9:00 a.m.

Once I arrived at the drop-off location, and as I was setting up for the day, a couple with their dogs came walking up. I said hello, and one of them asked if I was Antonio. She said that she worked for the city and thanked me for speaking out against the abuses of the Austin Police Department, and then she asked about the work I do with kids. It can be too easy for me to dwell on the struggles of these times, of trying to grow a community when most people are too scared to move toward freedom, and of the daily challenges that come from playing in the tension that arises when we elevate freedom and community. But hearing validation from a stranger sure was a nice way to start the day.

As I was waiting for the Learners to show up I began to get messages of Learners who would be out or late. It turns out we would only have three Learners to start the day. I had hoped to play a game of Tableaux, but it is not so fun when not many people show up. So instead we held our morning meeting and I offered up a discussion on one of a variety of topics. We chatted briefly about what intentions are, and how they differed from goals, and why we ask them to set intentions each morning. After the meeting the Learners said they wanted to head to the lake.

At the lake people really settled in. The Learners who found their way to the dock spent time with a couple who showed up and shared space with them. The two Learners who were late because of appointments arrived in the second half of the day and joined the other Learners on the dock. One of the Learners decided they were going to order pizza, which they ended up sharing with each other. Although I brought my ukulele to play with the Learners who brought they guitars, it seemed I should spend my time away from the dock, doing some admin work for Abrome and checking in on the Learner who was inking her comic.

A Learner reading stories from her recently published book

At 2:00 p.m. I joined an offering where a Learner read select stories from her recently published book. Although it was a book of scary stories, the Learner led with a hilarious story, with the best surprise ending, that had us both rolling in laughter. It was my favorite moment of the day, and perhaps of the entire cycle. On a day in which I could have found many negative things to dwell on, the unmitigated joy that I observed in this Learner helped remind me of the beauty of childhood, and the power of moments spent with people we can trust.

After her offering, we went back to the drop-off location to refill our water bottles. When we came back, everyone went back to doing what they had been doing for much of the day. I pulled out a Rubik’s cube and tried to work my way through solving it. I asked the Learners to vacate the dock for the afternoon roundup where one Learner set the conditions for the meeting, and another Learner facilitated a rushed meeting. We then walked back toward the pick-up location, with a short wait for a Learner to go to the bathroom. At the pick-up location, one by one, the Learners were picked up by their guardians, while I wrote down some notes and then toyed around with the Rubik’s cube a bit more. I then joined the end of the day check-in with the other Facilitators by phone, and then rushed back to pick up Cuddle Buddy Ivan to get him to a vet appointment. I then took the rest of the evening off to recharge for the coming day.