Days 133 & 134 of AY20-21: rain is a good thang

Monday, May 3rd was the beginning of the final full week of cycle 9. The small, physically distant cells were great for much of the year as it helped us greatly reduce the risk of exposure to Covid-19 for our community should someone get infected. But the challenge is that the Learners and Facilitators really want more than four to seven Learners showing up each day because each additional person added to a Self-Directed Education environment has an outsized impact on the community. On Monday, four Learners showed up for the small cell that I am part of for the cycle. But with pandemic numbers continuing to improve, we were preparing for the possibility of larger cells the next cycle, if the risk stage as determined by Austin Public Health were to drop to level 2.

On this day, most of us had the expectation and plan to spend much time on the paddle board. Shortly after our meeting and our walk to the lake, one of the teens to offer to pump up the paddle board so he and another teen Learner could get out on the water.

Some of the Learners have been on the paddle board before so they effortlessly pushed off and enjoyed their time on the surface of the lake. But two of us had never been on the paddle board, and each of us were able to overcome our fears and our shaky stabilizer muscles to get up on the board and enjoy the challenge of working against the current and waves of the lake.

Although I was on only briefly, as were Facilitator Lauren and a young Learner, two of the teen Learners spent a great deal of time on the paddle board individually and together. They then decided to head up the river (the lake in Austin is really just a river). And they stayed up the river for quite some time, without having shared with us the plan. When they came back we all had a conversation about what are reasonable safety boundaries and what are our communication needs. They also brought back a turtle with them that they then released back into the lake.

All but one of us went in the water at some point during the day. But as the temperatures continue to rise I think that we will need to really encourage everyone to get in the water to help regulate their temperatures. Having pulled out the swimming noodles certainly made getting in the water a bit easier and more fun for Facilitator Lauren and a young Learner who navigated all around an inlet.

On this day I decided to do another polar bear plunge, as I think I will do many many days from here on out as the weather gets hotter and hotter. I planned to jump over the two teens who were on a paddle board together as a surprise, and I lucked out by a water plane landing nearby that took their attention.

When Facilitator Lauren and the youngest Learner were on the paddle board I broke out the drone so the teens could fly it.

As summer comes in and as more and more schools release their hold on kids, more and more will be coming into the green areas we have frequented for much of the year. One young lady who had been at the dock the week before had returned, and a couple of the Learners had separate conversations with her. They both said that they were really glad they got to know her a bit.

As the day was coming to a close one of the adolescent Learners asked if I wanted to jump back into the water from the roof over the dock, so we each climbed up and made a few leaps. Then we climbed higher, onto the roof of the building, and made the longer jump in. It was a blast.

At the other cell the Learners got to see the greenbelt they visited filled with water! Usually the bed is dry, but the recent rains turned it into a lovely flowing body of water.

The water led multiple Learners to just sit and take it all in, while one Learner took some time for themself to help process a rough morning. Two Learners spent a lot of time together for the first time since that Learner enrolled in January, but because the January and February cells were completely remote, and because the other Learner only returned recently after becoming fully vaccinated, this cycle was their first chance to really get to know each other.

Meanwhile, the conversation of King Kong came up, again. Everyone was pulled into the conversation even though some did not care to be pulled in. The conversation revolved around the question of can something that was created with racist intent ever not be racist? Should we try to take racist messages and turn them into not-racist? One Learner suggested that we should just enjoy it and that we “don’t have to look in the past.” Another countered that it still influences the present and future, and pointed out that some people have the luxury of not looking in the past. The Learner who recently returned who had never participated in that conversation later thanked folks for the conversation and raising his awareness of the issue.

On Tuesday morning I started the day with a great call with the parent of a prospective 10-year-old Learner. We talked about community and our focus on centering the needs of Learners, particularly as they relate to issues of race. Later I had another great call with the parent of four prospective Learners and set up a shadow for the first of them. Finally, I had a third call with the parents of yet another four prospective Learners. Our biggest concerns right now with enrollment are (1) do we have enough time left in the year to get every prospective Learner in for a shadow, (2) do we need a larger facility to accommodate them all next year, and (3) do we have enough Facilitator capacity to bring on everyone if they want to enroll? Not the worst problems to have.

At the cell that I would be with if it were not a Tuesday the crew was smaller than usual, as one of the Learners got a bad case of sunburn and needed to stay at home, as did his sibling. The adolescent Learner who showed up was going to have a short day because he needed to leave at 1:30 p.m. for an appointment. Knowing that it would only be Facilitator Lauren and a young Learner at the end of the day, Facilitator Lauren invited the Learner’s vaccinated mom to join them that afternoon.

It was a beautiful day with amazing weather, so the crew decided it would be a good morning to hike to the bigger waterfall. They took a somewhat different path getting there by walking barefoot up the cold waters of the the stream. It was slippery at times, as they tried to keep their balance while walking over algae and moss covered rocks. During the meandering walk they took time for quiet breaks and rock skipping. During one of the breaks they came across a large patch of wild onions and began to chow down. It wasn’t the best tasting food they’d have that day, but it was probably the healthiest.

After the older Learner left for his appointment, Facilitator Lauren, the younger Learner, and that Learner’s mom spent time at the lake swimming with noodles, eating ice cream, and eating watermelon. It was a very relaxed and enjoyable day despite the low turnout.

At the other cell, one of the Learners stayed home to celebrate his birthday. But all the other Learners showed up, and those who were not there the prior day made the most of the abundant water. Every one of the Learners got into the water at some point.

One of the Learners decided to go up and down the stream several times, while others just let the water flow over their bare feet. One of them splayed themselves face down on a rock in the middle of the stream in what looked like a potential crime scene photo, but it was much more relaxing than any crime scene could be.

On this day, the crew decided to hike for 20 minutes, exploring the ways that the greenbelt have changed with the influx of water, before their morning meeting. They found a variety of things to do to include capturing a skink and enjoying observing its beauty before releasing it back to the wild, in addition to setting up the hammock and letting the sun fall on them.

In addition to spending lots of time in and around the water, two of the Learners got sucked into a game on a Learner’s phone. Fortunately that did not prevent them from appreciating the beauty all around them or from going in the water.

Final note: my previously declared daily' blogging has now fully shifted to cluster-of-days blogging. It just makes sense to me to do so given the much more frequent thunderstorms that result in inclement weather days from March to June, and with me taking Tuesdays and Thursdays off-site for administrative duties while we have three Facilitators (one of them being an intern) to support the Learners. I’m also now a month behind on posting! I’m neck deep in trying to respond to the greater than usual interest in enrollment from prospective families while also supporting our current families in navigating their plans for the coming year with continued uncertainty about what the pandemic plan will look like. Will we be able to be indoors? Will indoors only be for fully vaccinated Learners? Will we continue to have dedicated outdoor cells? I do not know, and the Delta variant of Covid-19 seems to be throwing a wrinkle into the possibilities. The bad news is that schools everywhere had long ago given up on protecting the community from the spread of Covid-19, so whatever happens we will still likely be on the extreme end of prioritizing community over convenience. The good news is that vaccinations continue to inch up, including among Learners in our community. Anyway, I hope to really ramp up my posting again after mid-June!

Days 130, 131, 132 of AY20-21: a day and two remotes

As we entered into the latter half of the middle week of cycle 9 of the pandacademic year we were uncertain as to how much time we would be able to spend with the Learners given pandemic fatigue, thunderstorms, and struggle with the heat and the humidity. When I showed up on April 28th I found that we again had a smaller than decent sized crew, with only three Learners present, so I went back to Abrome to focus on getting more Learners enrolled. For the Learners who did show up in my cell, Facilitator Lauren focused on giving them lots of individualized attention and play.

In addition to Facilitator Lauren, the smaller crew consisted of a 16-year-old, 8-year-old, and a 6-year-old. The younger Learners often spend a lot of time with each other, but they don’t spend much time with the teens, but they all tend to appreciate being in each other’s orbits. On this day they all played monarchs and viceroys (the insects, not the authoritarians), and cougar stalks deer. Perhaps having fewer teen Learners present made it easier for the 16-year-old to join in, although we have pulled teens into these games before.

In addition to the games was a great appreciation for local animals. For example, there was much admiration for the great blue heron who was hanging out near the cell, and of another snake that was situated at the base of a cypress tree. There was less joy at seeing two baby copperheads slithering across the trail under feet as the crew was walking toward the lake! That gave them all an opportunity to talk about safety and being mindful of wear we step.

At the lake the adolescent Learner eagerly jumped at the opportunity to spend time on the paddle board, where he would spend much of the day enjoying the tranquility of sitting on the surface of the lake.

But the other Learners also were sure to get their turns on the boat as well. As Facilitator Lauren and the 8-year-old floated up a stream they watched a snake slowly lower itself into the water and swim away, and they saw the blue heron snatch a fish out of the water and eat it! During the paddle board adventure the younger Learner noticed a can that was thrown (or dropped) in the water, so she asked to paddle over to it, where she picked it out of the water and then dropped it off in the trash when she returned to shore. What a wonderful way to help take care of the public spaces that we are able to frequent!

In addition to appreciating the fauna the Learners also appreciated the flora of Central Texas on the beautiful day. One of the Learners found that in addition to tasting delicious that mulberries serve as an excellent hair dye, while another Learner was fascinated by the gradient of colors of a blade of grass going from a deep green to a near white.

When everyone was finished with their time on the paddle board, and as Facilitator Lauren was at the bathroom, the teen Learner began to pack it up. When Facilitator Lauren returned she thanked him for packing it up. The 8-year-old Learner then remarked, “that was really helpful.”

As the day came to a close the cell gathered around and played a variety of quizzes together, such as identifying the names of video games or NASA missions. For the afternoon roundup they each shared one experience during that day that was uncomfortable, one that was joyful, and one that was inspiring. They then walked back to the pickup spot where the Learners got into their vehicles to go home. As the youngest one was getting into his car he turned to his mom and asked if he was “helpful.” They’re always watching, and they’re always listening.

At the other cell the Learners spent most of their day climbing around rock faces, throwing dirt on each other, playing games on a Learner’s phone, and just enjoying the scenery. It was a nice way to spend time together on what would turn out to be our last in-person day of the week.

Thursday weather

Morning meeting 29th

Then the thunderstorms rolled in. Or at least the forecast of thunderstorms which required us to cancel in-person meetups on Thursday. I don’t know if I’ve said it clearly enough, but I cannot stand remote days. They’re awful. I mean, they’re better than bringing people together during a pandemic where a single new infection can be devastating as it has the potential to lead to a super spreader event or a new mutation, but now that we are in an era where most people think that the pandemic is over the ideal is to be together as much as possible (read sarcasm). But lightning strikes are taken more seriously by most than a pandemic, so remote it (still) is.

Remote days don’t bring out the most joy and excitement in the Learners, and on this day it brought out only three Learners for the morning meeting. But I was able to engage those who did show up with some good prompts, in my opinion. First we discussed, “what social or economic issue do you think will have the biggest impact on your life?” Other than one young Learner who said he did not know (yet), the issues that we felt would have the biggest impact were climate change, pollution, a living wage, institutionalized violence, and inequality. Then we each talked about what we could do about it: modeling an ethical relationship with the natural world and supporting organizations that reconnect people ith nature, recycling (with a follow-on discussion of what recycling does and does not do), create structures to provide people with services for their needs, building relationships to address it as a movement, and no answer because the thought of inequality gave her a headache.

While we hold space for Learners by providing offerings or attending offerings, the idea of more Zoom or Discord meetups has not moved many Learners to show up for individual offerings. But on this day I did have a ‘rest of the year planning session’ offering which brought the three oldest Learners who were eager to share how we might be able to shift some of our pandemic measures.

Rest of the year planning session

Friday weather

Friday, unfortunately, was yet another inclement weather day as every hour but one carried the risk of thunderstorms. If only we had a huge campus with large indoor areas to move into during brief thunderstorms. But alas, those facilities are only available to public conventional schools and select private schools that feed off of a schooled society’s fears that without forcing kids to participate in a k-12 curriculum that the kids will end up as the big losers of a society that is predicated on most people being labeled as failures. Hmmmm…

The first thing I focused on on Friday was writing a blog post about some pretty politically charged school board races in the area that probably gives us a peek into what the 2022 midterm elections might look like. It took me a fair chunk of the day, but with the election upon us I felt it was important to share the concerns a Self-Directed Education community (whose members have shunned conventional schooling because public and private conventional schools do not meet their needs) had on public school board candidates who centered their campaigns on bigotry, exclusion, and harm.

Friday afternoon roundup

With Facilitators Ariel and Lauren much more comfortable with their roles as Facilitators I now have the luxury of stepping away from the every day Facilitation at times to focus on other necessary activities, and it is greatly appreciated. The turnout for the morning meeting was really strong, and after the meeting the Facilitators just hung out and chatted with each other on Zoom. As always with remote days, there was little engagement in the meat of the day as most of the Learners went off in multiple directions (virtual or not), although Facilitator Ariel and a teen Learner did find time for some gaming. We ended the day with a four-Learner afternoon roundup and lots of hopes that we could spend much more time in-person the next week.

Days 128 & 129 of AY20-21: paddle boarding, mulberries, snakes

Monday, April 26th, and Tuesday, April 27th were days 128 and 129 of the pandacademic year. I was super excited that we were going to be in-person given threats of thunderstorms. Before the day started, one of the guardians asked for clarification on mask wearing with vaccinated grandparents. Specifically, does an unvaccinated Learner need to quarantine if they are meeting with vaccinated parents and vaccinated grandparents? I thanked the guardian for asking to make sure that we are all on the same page and doing what we can to protect the community. And yes, if everyone except the Learner is vaccinated there is virtually zero risk of the Learner catching and spreading the disease, so no problem at all. While much of society has given up taking the pandemic seriously, I have such great appreciation for the Abrome community who continues to focus on how their actions impact others.

I’ll start with the other cell, the one I was not a member of. We continue to post daily updates on Instagram and Facilitator Ariel ran with the update on this day. His updates are so much lighter and more entertaining than mine are. Don’t believe me? Go check it out on our Instagram page.

The best news of the day was that a Learner who had long been remote because of the pandemic finally came back! He was the first Learner to enroll at Abrome so having him present with some of the newer Learners was great above and beyond just being able to enjoy his company again.

One of the Learners has really struggled since enrolling because of very late night or early morning gaming. Facilitator Ariel asked that Learner how he was feeling, and he said that he was feeling good because he did not stay up all night. Sounds like a winning formula!

Facilitator Ariel asked the Learners to come up with a plan for the day after they broke from the morning meeting. They not only planned where they wanted to spend their time, but they also came up with a water refill plan, which is fabulous because it is one of the practices we’ve been working on (because heat exhaustion is not cool).

It was a really great day for the crew. Not only did we welcome back an old face, but the Learners also found a jaw bone, a dead gecko, played some games on their phones, and caught a lizard. One of the Learners also brought a book for the first time, which was also great because we’ve been talking about ways that we could enjoy being by ourselves even when we are with others.

I had originally planned to be in-person with the other cell, but one Learner was suffering from a bad case of sunburn from the weekend, so he stayed home. That led to another adolescent Learner deciding that he would take the day off because the person he most wanted to hang out with would not be there. With two of three in a carpool calling out, the third one also opted out. Another younger Learner decided that they would stay at home, as well, while another Learner was on an extended family vacation. This left only one Learner for the cell that day. So Facilitator Lauren planned to spend a lot of quality time with the Learner while I went back to Abrome to work on some administrative tasks.

The Learner was initially bummed but he did not want to go home. Facilitator Lauren said, “let’s chill and eat snacks and see what day can look like.” As they discussed possibilities they chose to invite the Learner’s mom to join us. His mom said that it was a really good day for that, and soon showed up with chocolate popsicles. What a win!

The moved to the lake with the paddle board in tow, and along the way they collected and ate mulberries. A very yummy day was shaping up. The Learner was eager to help prepare the paddle board for launch, and spent a fair amount of time manually pumping it up. Eventually he and his mom set off on the lake and had a blast, with Facilitator Lauren also getting some time on it, as well. At the end of the day the young Learner said that paddle boarding was the funnest thing he’d ever done.

Because I was away doing admin work on Monday I chose to be in-person all day Tuesday. But with afternoon thunderstorms rolling in we had families plan for a half-day with an early pickup. It still turned out to be a fabulous (half) day though.

Learning about what folks missed out on the day before, there was intention to pick and eat mulberries, and to spend some time on the paddle board. So right after the morning meeting we headed toward the lake.

At the lake we began collecting the perfectly ripe mulberries and eating them. While we were collecting the mulberries one of the Learners noticed a snake hanging out near the base of the trees. We determined that it was not venomous, and it looked like one they had previously observed shedding.

After harvesting, the adolescent Learner who was eager to spend much of his day on the paddle board volunteered to pump it up. He made short work of it and then pushed off and did indeed spend much of his day on the water. He has excellent balance and never fell, which I thought was pretty impressive.

An adolescent Learner and I had planned to talk about Usual Cruelty, the book we both read the prior cycle, but because of the half day we pushed it off for a later date. Given that the month was almost over, and I had not yet jumped in the lake for my polar bear plunge all of April, I decided that today would be the day to squeeze it in. I asked if the adolescent Learner on the paddle board could withstand me jumping in the lake next to him without falling, and he told me to give it a shot. I did, and he stayed on, and the water was cold, making for a pretty exciting plunge.

As we settled down for the remainder of our short day we observed a water snake, had a conversation on the dock about our early Covid-19 experiences last spring, and then had a pretty engaging afternoon roundup. On our way back to the pickup point we had John and Lisa McQuackerson follow us, just as they had been doing all day. They really like mulberries.

Meanwhile, at the other cell everyone was present! We don’t mandate attendance at Abrome. In fact, we encourage Learners to take time off as they need it, and to take advantage of opportunities to engage with the world when they become available, instead of feeling as though they have to be at Abrome. Nonetheless, we do prefer that they show up, and given that some of the Learners in this cell struggle more to show up every day, it was thrilling to have everyone there. Our first ever enrolled Learner also got to meet the most recently enrolled Learner, for the first time.

The crew hiked to “the bowl” after the morning meeting, which was a welcome form of exercise considering that multiple Learners were not quite prepared for the weather. Seeing as it was a short day the walking took up much of the day, which worked out perfectly. When they settled in briefly at the bowl some of the Learners asked Facilitator Ariel about the Black Panther Party knowing that he was reading a book about Huey Newton. That led to tangential conversations about the complicated history of gun control and copwatching. But before the really good conversation could happen the half day came to an end. Fortunately, there will be opportunities for longer conversations soon.

Days 126 & 127 of AY20-21: let's check in on the other cell

The 22nd and 23rd of April were days 126 and 127 of the pandacademic year. On the 22nd I was away from the in-person Abrome meetup as I was focused on administrative work, and on the 23rd I had planned to be in-person but we were forced to go remote due to thunderstorms. I will continue to combine days for my ‘daily’ updates when I am away from my cell, or when inclement weather hits (and this is thunderstorm season). In this case, both of the days fit that bill.

My day away from the cell was a good one. I caught up on a lot of overdue administrative issues, connected with the guardian of a recently enrolled Learner, and spoke to some families who are looking into a possible Abrome enrollment for their children.

In my absence, at my cell, there was lots of laughter shared between Facilitator Lauren and two of the adolescent Learners. They chose to lay down on the dock as if they were going to sleep while eagerly engaging in conversation with all. In their disagreements with another adolescent over what peppermints really are, they talked about the possibility of playing tag games the next day.

Facilitator Lauren also spent a lot of time with a younger Learner. They walked around various parts of the park looking at plants. They ate some ripe mulberries and some intense wild onions, and had a cockel burr battle. They also found another bouquet of flowers thrown in the bushes. I guess someone had a photo shoot in nature because it is so beautiful out here, and then they just toss what they don’t want onto the ground. At least flowers will fairly quickly decompose. Facilitator Lauren also played some racing games with the youngest Learner, going slow, forward, and backward.

At the other cell, Facilitator Ariel and the other Learners were confronted with a large vulture at the entrance to the greenbelt where they tried to enter. The vulture was menacing, for sure, but the group did not know if it would be unwise or unsafe to try to skirt around it. Fortunately they had computers in their pockets so they pulled them out and did some quick searches. Turns out that vultures are completely harmless and will happily step aside if you try to pass them. In this instance, it actually run down the trail away from the group as they tried to enter the greenbelt.

In the park, an adolescent Learner chose to take the other Learners back to the waterfall that he and Facilitator Ariel stumbled upon the day before. After admiring the tiny waterfall, they continued to explore this region of the greenbelt. During the exploration they found a cliff with some wonderful views. They stopped to admire the view, and one of the Learners chose to test her nerves by finding a large rock to perch upon overlooking the valley.

It was a cold day, and everyone but one showed up better prepared for the weather. Recognizing the ways in which they were not prepared for the day, they decided that it was the right time to build a shelter. After the crew navigated back down to the riverbed, the Learner began collecting logs and branches to construct the shelter, and soon the other Learners joined in. It turned into more a work of art than a shelter, but the weather had improved so the utility of the shelter was no longer a priority. They all looked upon their work and were satisfied. Before they parted ways at the end of the day, they found a bouquet of flowers. What are the chances that two different cells ten miles apart would both find a bouquet of flowers?

Every day by 7:00 a.m. we make our call on whether it will be a late drop-off, early pick-up, or a cancelled in-person day due to inclement weather. On this day, with thunderstorms scheduled for each our of our 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. day, it was an easy call to go remote.

Remote days continue to not be great, especially on unplanned inclement weather remote days. We only had four Learners show up for the morning meeting and the Check-in and Change-up, but that was enough for a quorum. We don’t have a formal quorum number but any fewer Learners would have meant kicking the Check-in and Change-up to the following Monday.

One of the Learners showed up late while Facilitator Lauren was facilitating the morning meeting, and another Learner typed the prompts into the chat. It was a practice we had months ago, but it was fabulous to see Learners continuing to honor those practices. It’s how we co-create culture. The Check-in and Change-up was a long one. The longest one we’ve had in months. But it was a really good one, with four awarenesses being added to our blank Community Awareness Board (since it was our first Friday of the cycle). One of the newer Learners in the community who had proposed an awareness sent me a private message in the chat asking if he could leave after we came up with practices for his awareness. I asked him to stick it out because it would not feel good to me for him to leave without supporting everyone else they way they supported him. He chose to stick it out, which continues to demonstrate some pretty big leaps and bounds he has been making in terms of his willingness to consider how his actions might impact others. We came up with some really good practices to work with this cycle, and I felt really great about the meeting. No one showed up to the offerings, and only three Learners dropped in on the afternoon roundup, but that’s the way it goes with remote days.

Day 125 of AY20-21: saying goodbye to a friend

April 21st was day 125 of the pandacademic year and it was also our last day with a Learner who was moving to Los Angeles. We expected the day to be a sad one but we were determined to make it a special one nonetheless. Before the Learner who was leaving showed up, the Learner’s mom texted that he did not want a big deal made out of his final day, so we were planning to honor that. But I did tell him, I’m really going to miss you” just before I had planned to hand him a box of organic jelly beans that he often ruminated on when we were in our Flying Squad the prior cycle. But he cut me off with, “don’t say anything about that.” I said, “oh, well, I just wanted to give you something …” as I pulled the jelly beans out. He grabbed them, held them to his chest, and said, “oh my God, I love you!” I said, “you love me?!?”, and he said, “no, I’m talking to the jelly beans.” It was perfect.

Facilitator Lauren and I recognized that moving away from the lake for part of the day has had a really positive impact on that Learner’s daily experience, as well as others, so we were planning to ask if we could take a hike early in the day away from the lake and then we would consider returning to it, later. As the other five Learners began to trickle in, Facilitator Lauren noted that some of them seemed underdressed for the colder than usual morning weather, and offered them sweatshirts to wear and hand warmers, and multiple Learners accepted the offer. Instead of launching into the meeting when the final Learner showed, I floated the possibility of taking the hike before the morning meeting and then settling in for a meeting. Everyone agree, and we decided that we would take a walk to the second waterfall. When we took off I decided to pull out my speaker and play some songs for the Learner on the hike.

By the time we got to the first waterfall everyone was in a great mood thanks to the music, and one of the Learners asked if we could hold our meeting there instead of moving to the second waterfall. Everyone agreed, and we settled in, but first we decided to enjoy the scenery and jam out to some more music. There were multiple requests, and there was dancing.

When it was time for the meeting an adolescent Learner offered to be the game master, and then I facilitated the meeting. I stated with announcements, and then everyone shared their intentions for the day. Next, I began to tell them a story that was an adaptation of the allegory of the long spoons where in hell someone finds that everyone is stuck at a table with elbows that cannot bend, so they cannot eat the delicious food that is laid out before them. I was about to explain how the scene in heaven was similar in layout, but how everyone was able to eat. But before I could get there another adolescent Learner asked, “why don’t they just feed each other?” I was so thrilled that he figured out the solution, as in the heaven in the story people were just feeding each other. His question was so sincere that it was apparent that he had not heard the story before. Finally, each of us shared what gift we hope to be able to give the world.

After the morning meeting folks gravitated toward a long gentle flowing portion of the creek to skip rocks, with some ‘experts’ helping to show the others the best techniques to get multiple skips. They had a blast and I slipped away to record the daily update video on Instagram.

One of the younger Learners who has been quite apprehensive about charting his own path through high grasses and shrubs soon found himself drawn into exploration. It was nice to see him playing in the woods for a change.

After all the singing, dancing, rock skipping, and navigating through areas with no paths, the crew was ready to swing back by the drop off spot, fill up with water, and head back down to the lake for the rest of the day. We went back at different speeds, with me going back with some of the slower folks. Along the way I stumbled across two of the youngest Learners acting as human statues, and they did a pretty nice job of keeping their bodies and faces stiff.

As I passed the Learners they very quickly ran past me and found the mulberry tree and immediately began to evaluate the ripeness of the berries. Soon three of them were harvesting and eating them, and then they decided to climb the tree, as well.

What a yummy harvest!

At the dock, some of the Learners set up in their usual spots. One of the Learners decided to have a conversation with me about Usual Cruelty, a book she was still working through that I had recently finished. We talked about some of the individual stories in the book that she found upsetting, and I tried to highlight how the stories were intended to give a human face to what happens to countless people because of how the “criminal bureaucracy” works. The conversation was shorter than I had hoped, but it was great to see her take the initiative to chat about a book that we agreed to read.

Harder than it looks

Meanwhile, two of the other Learners were busy collecting fallen branches so they could carve them with their knives. After fashioning them into spears, and then breaking them so that no dogs would injure themselves, one of them invited the rest of us to a workout. I agreed to the workout, but said that I would have to modify some of the exercises because of my wrists. The Learner who was leading the workout emphasized that everyone should do what they felt comfortable with, but he warned us that it would be a bear of a workout. It was way more than a bear. It was a killer workout. By the time I barely finished I knew I would be feeling it for days. For me, the best part of the workout was listening to a variety of old school workout jams and some intentionally horrible music (recorded off beat, or off tune on purpose).

After the workout was finished we were spent. We each settled in and just tried to recover, while drinking water, of course. But everyone in the crew was kinda spent from the excitement of the day. Some of the younger Learners played along the ..edge of the lake while one of them focused his attention on the ducks. Another young Learner broke out her fuzzy notebook and used it to write.

We then came back together for the afternoon roundup, which one of the adolescent Learners volunteered to lead. She started with announcements and then shared two prompts focused on accomplishments and feelings of pride. But the ducks, John and Lisa McQuarkerson, ambled into the middle of a circle and stole the show. The adolescent Learner then took charge of the meeting again, and we each responded to the prompts.

Saying goodbye

We then made our way back to the pickup point where each Learner said their goodbyes to the departing Learner, and then went home. At the very end of the day I pulled out a card that the Facilitators had signed for the departing Learner, and another box of jelly beans. He did not even notice the jelly beans at first. The last thing he said to me and Facilitator Lauren was “ciao!” We are really going to miss him.

Meanwhile, at the other cell, they went chasing waterfalls, spent time pondering the meaning of life (or appreciating the beauty in nature), found some cool looking rocks, and took some naps.

Not sticking to the rivers and lakes

It is beautiful out here

Don’t worry, he’s not a giant about to drop a rock on another Learner

Catching up on sleep

Day 124 of AY20-21: a tale of two cells

Tuesday, April 20th was the second day of cycle nine and my first remote day. With both Facilitators Ariel and Lauren thriving as Facilitators I am taking a step back twice a week to focus on supporting prospective families and on tying up some loose ends administratively. Even though I am not going to be physically present twice a week, I planned to be in touch with Facilitator Lauren and available if she needed my support.

Day two was a beautiful, gorgeous day and the Learners showed up in really good moods. There positive moods helped lead into effortless and fun activities and discovery to include picking mulberries that are not quite ripe yet. Also, one of the Learners decided to showcase his beatbox skills while the other showed us some pretty classic dance moves. If they were born thirty years earlier they might have been child stars!

Mulberries!

The day was a great one for moving around, and two of the adolescent Learners came to Abrome with intentions to workout. One of the Learners went on a job, and another Learner led a workout that Facilitator Lauren participated in. It was a pretty intense workout, and the Learner said he plans to do the workout four times per week! One of the younger Learners watched the workout, but insisted that he was uninterested in participating in it. After the workout was over, the Learner walked away from the group to be by himself further down the shoreline. He was later seen doing his own pushups!

In addition to working out, there was also plenty of water drinking. Facilitator Lauren helped facilitate the drinking with a game of ‘never have I ever,’ and she also handed out some electrolyte packets for the Learners to put in their water bottles. The drinking game went so well that a younger Learner who has never been comfortable going to the bathroom at Abrome decided to nature pee twice. A pretty monumental step forward.

Although no one really got in water deeper than their ankles, there was a lot of time spent next to the water. One of the coolest observations of the day was seeing a water snake just floating on the surface of the lake. The Learners have largely moved on from being afraid of snakes to being aware of them, which is wonderful all around.

Two of the Learners stayed on the dock of the lake while three younger Learners walked to a waterfall where there was much more shade as they found it getting hot at the lake. And although few people found their way into the water on this day, all of them committed to getting into the water on Wednesday.

The snake was not the only animal that we appreciated on this day. There was a fuzzy caterpillar that we came across that looked like it could be menacing. One of the Learners offered Facilitator Lauren ten dollars to touch it, but she passed on the offer. But thanks, anyway!

Exhausted

The day was exhilarating but exhausting, and the Learners left quite content with the ways in which they chose to spend their day.

It was a slow day for the other cell, and a good one for reading. An adolescent read 200 pages of her book, and Facilitator Ariel finished the second of three long essays in Usual Cruelty. Another Learner who said he was not into reading books had a nice conversation with Facilitator Ariel, and it turns out there are some books that he likes. Facilitator Ariel then let the learner borrow his copy of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman. When the Learner was finished with the book he took a nap. The other Learner took out a knife and carved out some eating utensils for lunch.

The other cell is also a small one, but on this day they got word that a Learner who has been out since the winter Covid-19 wave may be coming back this week, as he got his second vaccination shot! As of day 124 of the pandacademic year we have four Facilitators fully vaccinated, and four Learners at least partially vaccinated!

Day 123 of AY20-21: back in-person!

Monday, April 19th was the first day of cycle 9, and it marked my return to a nature setting after spending the prior cycle in a Flying Squad specialty cell in downtown Austin. I was also excited to be back with three Learners I had not shared a cell with in quite some time. Unfortunately, one was on an extended vacation and was not expecting to join us until the last week of the cycle. But on this Monday, I got to hang out with six Learners and Facilitator Lauren, which is pretty great.

For the morning meeting we discussed what practices from the prior cycle we felt were important, and how we wanted to spend our time this cycle. After the meeting everyone was eager to head to the lake. Along the way two of the adolescent Learners stumbled upon and sampled some honeysuckles, and then did the same with mulberries they found. Facilitator Lauren who had been munching on them with some of the younger Learners the prior cycle also got her fill of the mulberries. Facilitator Lauren would later show the two adolescent Learners some evening primrose which they then sampled, as well. I don’t know that we are ready to live off the land quite yet, but we are learning bit by bit, and chomp by chomp.

At the lake we found that a crew was working on the dock, and it was loud, so the Learners were forced to move to a spot next to the lake where they usually do not spend much time. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and there was no need for us to seek a shaded area to escape from the sun.

The younger Learners found a lot of joy in walking along the retaining wall along the lake, jumping between the wall and the shore, and in checking in on John and Lisa, the two ducks that have become our friends.

One of the adolescent Learners broke out his speakers and began playing some of his favorite songs, while also supporting a variety of requests along the way. As the conversation shifted from topic to topic we began to play songs from different generations. Another adolescent Learner began reminiscing about our visit to Rivers & Roads ALC in Oklahoma City before the pandemic hit, and asked if I remembered us singing to “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys on the 9 hour drive. I did not, but when the song began to play I was ready to give it another try. At first the Learners held back because I was filming, but they got over it and began to sing, and even kept going after I ruined the moment with my out of tune efforts.

The younger Learners were moving around a lot that day, creating uniquely artistic spears, investigating the flora and fauna on some nearby trails, and climbing trees.

The movement of the younger Learners eventually pulled the Facilitators and the adolescent Learners off of their butts and into walking, exploring, and running mode. At some point a woman came over with her dog, and the Learners were drawn into it. It was a sweet dog, and we are pretty good about asking permission to pet dogs, so there was little problem with the woman’s presence. The only thing was, she was not wearing a mask and was getting a bit close to one of the Learners. I was thrilled to see that the Learner, instead of just allowing the lady to talk so close to her, effortlessly pulled out her mask and put it on.

Two of the adolescent Learners then asked me if I brought my soccer ball, so I pulled it out and we went into the field to kick it around. Meanwhile, the other adolescent Learner got on the phone and tried to schedule an appointment that she had not been able to make as she kept getting the runaround. After being put on hold and being patched through to others, she finally got her appointment scheduled.

Then things slowed down a bit as the Learners enjoyed the view of the lake. By this time the folks working on the dock had finished up, and we learned that we could get some pretty excellent echo action in if we yelled across the lake. Meanwhile, one of the younger Learners asked Facilitator Lauren if she could borrow some colored pencils and paper to work on a project.

Things picked up again once a younger Learner noticed a centipede crawling on his backpack. He asked for support in extracting his backpack from the grip(s) of the centipede, and then he and everyone else gathered around to watch the giant Texas redheaded centipede looking fearsome.

Not long thereafter, I got a text from one of the Abrome guardians who told me that there was an opportunity for walk-in vaccinations for anyone 16-years-old or older in east Austin. For the second day in a row the people administering the vaccines anticipated not being able to use up all of the shots that they had planned to that day. I turned to the two adolescent Learners who had not yet been vaccinated and asked them if one of their parents would be able to take them to get the shots, immediately. They both jumped on their phones and one of the parents said they could come pick them up and take them to the vaccination site, while the other parent blessed off on her son getting the shot. Never before had I been so thrilled to see Learners leaving Abrome early, even though they also took the other adolescent Learner who was there that day (sibling, carpool).

The remaining three Learners continued to run around, climb trees, eat mulberry bushes, and splash around in the water. But when they finally slowed down, Facilitator Lauren invited them to play a game of ‘never have I ever,’ with the intention of getting folks to drink more water. The game eventually morphed into ‘would you rather,’ with the continued intention of drinking water.

It was a pretty epic game, and my favorite question was one that I brought up: would you rather eat someone else’s booger, or not eat ice cream for the rest of your life? Both Learners squirmed a bit but then said that they would rather eat someone else’s booger. I said, “ew, gross!” Then the one Learner said softly to herself, “but I looooove ice cream …”

The day ended shortly thereafter, but not before we agreed to take a longer walk back along a trail that we have rarely walked along as a crew. It was a pretty magical first day back. Oh yeah, and the two Learners who left early were able to get their first Covid-19 vaccination shots!

Meanwhile, at the other cell there was hiking, conversations about community, napping, and celebrating the fact that the day was the first official day for a newly enrolled Learner!!

Days 121 & 122 of AY20-21: two virtual days

I said I was going to write a blog post for every day this year. I am modifying that a bit. I’m going to combine days 121 and 122 of the pandacademic year, the two remote days that were tacked onto the tail end of cycle 8. I’m doing so in part because the remote days have been low touch, low turnout, and low engagement; and in part because I am really behind on blog posts for the year (I am writing this on day 135 of the pandacademic year!).

We scheduled in 14 remote days this year so that we could be together as many days as possible both in-person and in total. These 14 remote days allowed us to have at least a nine day observation period between cycles for those meeting in-person, which greatly limited the risk of a single person putting multiple cells at risk of Covid-19. We have been fortunate that our community has taken the pandemic seriously by masking up and not congregating indoors with others from outside their household or dedicated pod, quarantining if they were not able to adhere to our community practices, and that our community largely supports Covid-19 vaccines. In fact, at least one Learner and one guardian got their first shot over the weekend before day 121, while the other was told he was too young (it was a Moderna batch).

We have had mixed results in terms of Learners showing up for online meetings during the pandemic. We were pretty thrilled to get ten Learners to show up for the morning meeting on Monday. For the morning meeting the game shifting asked only that people sit, stand, or dance during the meeting. Although most Learners had their video cameras turned off, one of the younger Learners broke into dance which made us all smile (even those off camera.

Remote again. Woo hoo.

Most of the folks on the morning call shared how they could be the type of friend they wish they had: listen to people, be there in the hard times, by not interrupting people, be more available, do my stretches (no clue what that means), being honest, challenging people without hurting them, being there for others, be nice.

I then told everyone that one of the shadowers from the prior week would be enrolling for cycle 9. This was a cause for celebration and relief. Each additional person in a Self-Directed Education community adds far more to the community than plus one. This is because each person brings their own unique interests, skills, thoughts, and life experiences that everyone else can benefit from. So going from 10 Learners to 11 would not increase one time connection opportunities between Learners by 9% (1/11), but it would increase it by 11 times (10! vs 11!). I will probably write a future blog post to explain that more clearly. Nonetheless, it is substantial. The reason it is a relief is because we were not at our best the prior week, and we really came up short in welcoming in the new Learners. So to know that one of the shadowers was confident enough of his place in the community was a really big deal.

Speaking of the difficult week, I had planned calls with the four Learners I called out on Friday. On Monday, I had a really great call with the first of the four Learners. We talked about how the Learners stuck to themselves and did not go out of their way to interact with the shadowers, particularly on Thursday. This Learner said, “I was kind of [stuck] in the middle of leaving my comfort zone or staying in my comfort zone.” It was a helpful conversation as it allowed me to better understand the motivation of the Learner, and it helped the Learner better empathize with the experiences of a shadower.

Unfortunately, as is now the norm for our remote days, none of the Learners came to the four offerings that were set up for the day. But that’s okay, we are just holding space for the Learners if they need it, and we found plenty of time to be with each other.

The next day nine Learners showed up for the morning meeting, one less than Monday but still a strong enough showing that it made those who show up appreciate their community. For the morning prompt we each shared a way nature has affected our daily life lately: allergies, wifi doesn’t work in nature, joy from watching two birds build a nest outside their window, feeling crappy outside because of allergies, it is so hot I can’t wear my hoodie, enjoying walks in the neighborhood and noticing how protective deer are of their fawns, I biked this morning and waived hi to so many people because it was so beautiful out, allergies are causing a really dry cough, allergies and stuff, allergies, the sun is helping me produce vitamin D, allergies. Are the allergies really that bad, or are the Learners just too comfortable indoors?

On Tuesday we told the Learners what the cell composition were going to be for cycle 9, and no one seemed to take offense, which was nice. Unfortunately, at least two Learners were planning to be entirely remote, and that stinks, but we cannot wait until they can show up in person again (probably next fall).

On this day the Facilitators again provided a variety of offerings that the Learners did not take advantage of, but Facilitator Ariel and I showed up for an Among Us offering that was hosted by one of the Learners. It was really fun and even though I was tired and anxious to get work done I’m glad I made time to connect with the Learner (and kill and be killed by him).

On Tuesday I also met with the other three Learners to discuss the challenges we had the earlier week. The Learners shared some good ideas on how they can better support others, but I was interested in the general belief that if they can find nothing in common with someone then maybe they have nothing to talk about. I interrogated that idea a bit, helping the Learners to recognize that there is a world of possible shared interests that cannot possibly be explored during an initial introduction. I also questioned whether it made sense to spend less effort to welcome in those who seem the most different (e.g., less shared interests), and how that could play out in terms of supporting those who are already in the minority in society. For example, if we have no Black, trans, or undocumented immigrant Learners, would it not be more difficult to build quick rapport with them, but would that not also be all the more reason to try to make them feel welcome? After all, American society does not have a great record of welcoming in and supporting historically marginalized people, and we certainly have no interest of replicating the harshness of American society at Abrome.

Facilitator Ariel also talked to the Learners about last week. One of the Learners told him that he had a fear of letting people in because of his earlier life experiences. Facilitator Ariel shared that he had the same fears, and expounded upon that to talk about his fears as a Black man in the south. He explained how it had been a hard two days since the Daunte Wright killing (by police in Minnesota), and they cried with each other. Later, Facilitator Ariel told the Learner that we Facilitators believe in them, and our collective ability to grow. They then talked about what they could do in the future to better welcome people in.

Day 120 of AY20-21: learning how to welcome people in

Friday, April 9th was the last in-person day of cycle 8, meaning it was the last day of our social justice oriented Flying Squad, and it was day 120 of the pandacademic year.

As the Learners came into the space before the morning meeting, I noticed four of the Learners all turned in toward each other, with one of the shadowers about 20 feet away just watching them. Over the prior few days of the week I had pointed out different ways in which they seemed to be excluding shadowers, or at best, not being welcoming to them. One of the things about Abrome is that many Learners come here to escape schooling. Abrome serves as a way to reclaim a sense of belonging, a sense that they matter after being in a system that saw them only as test scores or tuition payments. Abrome is a place where they are free from the competition and ranking and hierarchies that spur so much of the anti-social and toxic behaviors of schooling. But when they find a home where they finally feel safe, sometimes they get so invested in their relationships with others that they do not do a great job of welcoming others. And sometimes, they are so damaged from schooling that they hold onto comfortable relationships and are slow to welcome in others.

Which is a shame, because we are too small right now from a sustainability perspective, and our limited size limits the magic of what Emancipated Learning can be. Each new person brings in their own unique mix of interests, experiences, and ways of being. In a Self-Directed Education environment, where the learning happens as much from one another as it does from any formal medium, the benefits of additional Learners accrue not linearly, but exponentially. Additionally, social proof is extremely important for growing the community, as parents and guardians want to know that other families have trusted their children to be free, and prospective Learners want to know that other Learners like them have chosen to come to Abrome. In fact, we are suffering from a shortage of girls and young women at Abrome in part because when they’ve looked at Abrome they did not see enough people who looked like them.

Although I had planned to address my disappointment at the ways in which we were not being super welcoming to the shadowers in the morning meeting, I could not hold off when I saw the Learners turned in toward each other that morning. I walked up to them and said, “y’all are being a bunch of assholes.” Then I said, “no, you’re acting like a bunch of assholes.” I told them that while no one is forced to like or spend time with others at Abrome, that their discomfort at welcoming in new people is not nearly as uncomfortable as being the new person in the group, and they should know that considering all of them had previously been welcomed into Abrome. I said, that they had the right to ignore people, but “that’s a shitty way to live life.”

It was the second time that week that I had given some pretty raw feedback. They then awkwardly oriented their bodies toward the shadower to make him feel more welcome. Shortly thereafter I checked in with the mom of the other shadower, and she told me that her daughter felt so alone the day prior that she couldn’t get out of the car. The prospective Learner was not up for trying again that day, especially after the years of bad experiences she had at a variety of public and private schools. I was devastated. A lack of awareness or intention by our group to make the prospective Learner feel welcome resulted in her passing up what would have most likely been the best possible environment for her to finish out her adolescent years.

We then went into the morning meeting. The Learners could tell that I was upset, but they probably thought it was over what I said to them that morning. But what I was most upset by was that the Learners do care, but they have not yet been able to couple that concern with intention and action.

After the morning meeting we moved into the Check-in and Change-up. We ended up taking two awareness off the Community Awareness Board because we felt good about them becoming norms within our community, and four new awarenesses were proposed. We only had room for two so the two that we decided not to focus on that morning were: (1) we grow as people when we think about the feedback we get from others, and we grow more when we commit to change; and (2) it does not feel good when Learners treat Facilitators like parents or teachers and defer their thinking and decision making to them.

The first new awareness we added was proposed by Facilitator Ariel: the days are less frustrating when people are actively engaged in meetings. He began the discussion by saying that the prompts we come up with are purposeful but that the answers are quickly forgotten. We also acknowledged that simply repeating what someone else said did not typically indicate that one was really thinking about the prompt. We eventually agreed to three new practices for the awareness. The first was that if people were not engaged we would say “let’s focus” and then we would all recenter. The second was that we would look at person speaking, although if anyone felt uncomfortable looking others in the face they could simply look in their direction. The third practice was that we were not going to repeat what someone else said without an explanation.

The second new awareness we added was proposed by two of the adolescent Learners, and clearly sprang from my earlier words to them: some people aren’t making others feel welcome. This led to a longer conversation about the ways in which we welcome others is not only valuable because of how each Learner benefits, or how the community benefits, but because of the impact it has on the shadower. It’s about being decent human beings. We come up with three practices to try to address the awareness. First, each morning there would be a Learners only planning meeting for the day, that would necessitate bringing in everyone to engage with one another. The second was that we would invite people in. And the third was to use more welcoming body language.

It was a long meeting, and the Learners were eager to move on with the day after some pretty challenging and uncomfortable conversation. We did not get very far before the youngest broke down. His parents were allotting him a certain amount of money to spend on food each day, and that became his primary focus. We had agreed that we would stop at the corner store on the way back to the pickup spot at the end of the day to get food, but he wanted to get the food right then and there. Facilitator Ariel went to chat with him and one of the adolescent Learners said that he would take lead to talk to him, and he soon got the young Learner back on track.

Part of the plan they all came up with that morning was to stop at Fresa’s for drinks and food. I had never been there before so I did not know what a big deal it was. Facilitator Ariel and I were continuing to step back as much as possible to make space for the Learners to take charge. One of the Learners came up to me and bragged about getting his drink for free. I asked how, and he said that when he went to pay he was actually a few cents short. The lady at the window told him not to worry about it and let him have it for free. I remarked how incredibly generous she was and asked if he left a tip. He said that he did not. I said there was a tip jar at the window, and that if he got the drink for free it seemed to me that it would be quite appropriate to use some of the money he had for a tip. He asked how much, and I said I’d probably leave a dollar. He looked at the money in his hand, and drifted off. I watched him as he uncomfortably debated putting money in the jar or just joining the other Learners. He chose not to put the money in the jar.

As we were walking away I asked him why he chose not to tip. He said that he wanted to keep the money so he could spend it on something else. I asked him if he thought that was what was fair. He then told me that my questions were making him feel guilty. I asked him why he felt guilty, but he did not reply. I then asked him if he knew how the people who work at restaurants typically get paid. He said the company pays them. I said not always, that many service workers are paid below minimum wage with the belief that tips will more than make up for the low pay. And that by not leaving a tip, he took up her time without compensating her for it. I then pointed out that minimum wage in Texas is $7.25, but that servers often get paid barely over $2.00 an hour. I asked if he was willing to work full days for $7.25 an hour, or $2.13 an hour plus tips, and he said he would not. I suggested that he consider how fortunate he is, and to remember that the next time he has a chance to tip a worker.

The social justice focus for the day was to exist as young people in public, making adults uncomfortable about it along the way. They planned to hang out at the upper level of Whole Foods for this mission, but it was pretty clear to me that the real learning that day would be talking about being inclusive, and discussing minimum wage and tips.

I was pleased to see that so many Learners were drinking water that day. It was a warmer day and I encouraged them to drink early and often, and they were. By the time we got to Whole Foods the Learners were ready to spend some of their money. All of the adolescent Learners and the lone shadower went into the store. It seemed to be a big deal for the newest of the Learners to be trusted to go off by himself. The learning curve he is experiencing in terms of learning who he is, what his responsibilities are to others, and what it means to be free is pretty remarkable.

The youngest Learner asked to go into the grocery store with me (his money was sent to me via Venmo so he needed me to buy his food). I reminded him that the agreement we made was to get something at the corner store on the way back. He said he did not want candy, but that he wanted a fruit or vegetable. He totally tricked me, because I said okay. Once we got into the store he changed his mind and decided that he wanted to buy some sort of snack. We settled on a healthy snack with the understanding that we would not stop at the corner store on the way back, and that he would wait until we got back to eat it so that we made it in time. He said okay, and although he asked me numerous times to eat it early, he stuck to that latest agreement. Although the Learner had really struggled that cycle by ruminating on food and letting it take over large chunks of his days, he had come a long way in regulating himself.

The Learners ended up playing tag and associated games on the roof of Whole Foods, as well as just sitting around and chatting with each other. Two of the Learners and Facilitator Ariel made plans to play Call of Duty during our off week. And during the discussion I was told that two of the Learners had plans to get the Covid-19 vaccine that weekend! We ended the day/week strong with a review of practices, reflections on what each of us learned regarding social justice that week, and what we feel we need to do to become better human beings toward others. Then we finished off our week with gratitudes. What a challenging but tremendously powerful week of learning how to be supportive to others it was for each of us, and for our community.

The other cell finished off there week in a much more relaxed manner:

Day 119 of AY20-21: the challenge of centering the needs of others

Thursday April 8th was the 14th day of cycle 8, and day 119 of the pandacademic year. It was also the first shadow day for a prospective Learner, and the third shadow day for another.

At the morning meeting Facilitator Ariel volunteered to be the game master, having us sit in a circle and sharing in order from tallest to shortest. I was facilitating the meeting and had us start with announcements and then introduce ourselves by stating our name, pronouns, how long we’ve been at Abrome, and telling the group something interesting about ourselves. We then shared our intentions for the day, and then we each mentioned what makes us feel comfortable when we are in a new setting with new people. Considering that we had two shadowers with us this seemed like a great prompt and the answers were mostly pretty helpful: when they break away from the group to talk to me, when people share with me, when I have a safety device and can retreat into it (not very helpful), friendliness, doing an activity with them (e.g., game), talking, finding common ground, sharing memes, when people are exactly like me (not very helpful).

Before we did anything else that day the group had planned to visit with the houseless folks they spoke to the day before. Multiple people committed to address a need that was shared with them the day before, and each showed up that morning with the items they committed to bring: bread, cheese, granola bars, water, and a calendar. It was nice to see follow through from the group on an issue that a Learner had indicated meant a lot to her.

Next we had planned to walk to The Texas State Capitol to see if we could make people feel uncomfortable about free kids in public spaces in the middle of the school day. Facilitator Ariel and I once again dropped back so that the Learners could lead the way, but when everyone looked to the same Learner they had been deferring to the previous several weeks, I asked if someone else was able to take the lead. An adolescent Learner was out of his comfort zone but he decided to lead the way. Off he went, pretty quickly, with everyone following. I walked next to him and told him that leading wasn’t just about being at the front, but also making sure everyone in the group was taken care of. I encouraged him to look behind every once in a while to make sure he wasn’t leaving his friends behind.

When we came across a sunken courtyard the youngest Learner insisted that we stop and play there. He had a skateboard (minus the wheels) that he thought he could use to do tricks off of in the courtyard. The Learners all reminded him that we agreed to a timeline that included getting to the Capitol as soon as possible because two Learners needed to leave early. The young Learner struggled to find a reason to stick with the plan, and told everyone that they needed to adjust the plan so he could play. Facilitator Ariel sat with him, acknowledged that he wanted to play, and eventually convinced the Learner to stick to the plan that the Learners collectively set that morning.

When we got to the Capitol grounds we settled in around a large oak tree for some conversation. I had been concerned by how little the Learners were interacting with the shadowers so I addressed it with a couple of them, particularly the ways in which they used their bodies to turn away from conversation. It was frustrating as I had spoken about it multiple time that week. Some of the Learners said that they did not realize they were doing it, and some insisted that they were not doing it. All said that they did not want to ignore the new Learners but that they did not know how to interact.

At 12:00 p.m. I feared that the day would get away from us and that we would not be able to go into the Capitol in time to participate in any committee hearings where people could address the committee. Everyone agreed that we would eat lunch for half an hour and then walk in. At that point, all of the Learners began to walk away from the Facilitators and the two shadowers, and I said to them, “I’m making the observation that all of the Learners are walking away from the shadowers.” They did not invite the shadowers to join them, though. I recognized that they were all feeling insecure, particularly because the newest shadower was older than each of them, but I also remember each of their first days (and weeks) and remember how out of place they felt then, and how they all appreciated it when the more veterans Learners chose to center the needs of shadowers instead of letting their insecurities prevent them from being welcoming.

When we got into the Capitol we tried to find a committee hearing that we could join, but we found out that they were all out of session because both the senate and the house were in session. We were able to get in the house gallery as they discussed Amendment No. 3 to Texas House Bill 1239. It was a bill that was purportedly about religious freedom but upon hearing the debate on the floor it became clear to me that it was more about the culture wars. Those who were opposed to any restrictions on gatherings during the Covid-19 pandemic were looking to carve out exceptions to the state being able to enforce public health safety measures. The obvious place to start would be churches. The vote tended to fall along party lines, which highlights the challenge of hoping that partisan government bodies can center the needs of people who do not vote or donate to the party.

After watching the session we walked out of the house gallery and began winding our way through the Capitol. As the Learners were running up and down stairs I asked if they wanted me to referee a race. Most of them did, so I laid out the rules. It would be a short race. They would run down one flight of stairs, run around to the opposite side of the stairs, and then run right back up. I would space them out in five second intervals so that none would trip over the others. As I counted off for each to go, one Learner could not wait and began to inch toward the starting line. Another Learner tried to hold him back and lost control of him, but fortunately he fell down to the side instead of down the stairs. That would have been bad. Eventually every Learner had taken off with one Learner coming to the finish line. I was a bit confused for a second as the other Learners were not hot on his tail, but apparently he was the only one who listened to the rules of the game.

After the race and after everyone caught their breath, we walked toward the exit. As we walked by some staffers I loudly said to the Learners, “keep your hands in your pockets, you really embarrassed us today.” With a look of shock on the faces of the staffers I turned to them and said, “school kids need discipline.” I don’t think any of them were amused, but I was amused because it seemed to me that they forgot what school was like.

Outside the Capitol the youngest Learner said he wanted to ride his skateboard down a steep grassy area that came out on a road. Facilitator Ariel said that was not a great idea because it would almost certainly lead to some sort of injury. The Learner got upset and said that he could do it. Facilitator Ariel who has been skateboarding for years more than the Learner had been alive said, “are you willing to trust me?” The Learner then asked if it would be a better idea to play on a much smaller slope that did not come out on a road.

Two of the Learners left early, as planned. After they left one of the Learners asked me if they could go investigate what looked like an ice cream truck up the road. I said that I would accompany him, although I doubted an ice cream truck would normally set up there given the limited foot traffic. When we showed up it was indeed open, to my surprise. The Learners got excited and began to look for a menu with prices, when a lady with a bunch of Planned Parenthood signs told them that they had rented out the ice cream truck and that they could get some ice cream for free. I told the lady that we were not volunteers and they said that it was okay. I suggested to the Learners that they ask the lady what she was there for and she was eager to talk to them about their health services. But the Learners were so focused on the ice cream the lady said, “it can wait until they get their ice cream.” Once they got their ice cream I again asked, and one Learner walked off while the other completely zoned out as he dug into his ice cream. The lady said, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

We walked off and I asked the Learners why they ignored the lady who just gave them free ice cream. The youngest was so lost in the ice cream that he did not even understand what I was asking, while the other insisted that he was listening. I asked him what the organization did, and he said he did not know. I said that might be an indication that he was not listening. When we got back to the Capitol grounds I insisted on talking to them about ways in which they can show gratitude when people give them something, whether it is people with a political agenda or perhaps their parents.

Towards the end of the day, those same two Learners were fixated on going back to 7-Eleven for more sugar, so I agreed to take off with them in one direction while Facilitator Ariel and the remaining Learners and shadowers could drop by the ice cream truck to see if they could get some free ice cream. Fortunately, this time around each of the Learners listened to the women who had rented out the truck as they shared what Planned Parenthood does, they asked questions, and they thanked them. They even asked if they could get a picture with the volunteers. I missed out on that feel good moment though, as I was focused on getting us to 7-Eleven and then to the pick-up point in time.

The day was an exciting and positive one for most Learners, but I was pretty down on how the day played out. I saw legislators prioritizing the wants of their political base instead of centering the needs of those most vulnerable to the pandemic. I also saw Learners focusing on their desires for food or comfort over the needs of others to feel seen and welcome. We are all learning and growing together, and I recognize that many younger people have not had a lot of practice prioritizing the needs of others, especially those who have spent thousands of hours trapped in conventional schools. I committed to raising these issues the next day at the Check-in and Change-up.

The other cell had a much easier day. Two Learners researched what to feed ducks and brought corn for them. There was leaf printing on clay. And after spending half the day at the lake, they spent the second half of the day at a water fall where they tried to dam up the stream and played in the woods.